The Mating Grounds

10 Reasons Why Breakups Are So Hard and How to Move On

Breaking up is hard to do. Regardless of the circumstances, breakups can have a devastating effect on our lives.

From the emotional pain to the questioning of choices made, the loss of a relationship can leave us feeling alone and lost. But why is that?

In this article, we’ll explore why breakups are so difficult and discuss some of the reasons why moving on can be a challenge.

Emotional Damage of Breakups

No one enjoys feeling emotional pain. But the reality is, breakups can cause us to feel intense pain, depression, and even an existential crisis.

The sense of loss and rejection can leave us questioning our own worth, our own choices and decisions. Incompatible goals and dreams can be a significant factor in the emotional turmoil that often arises after a breakup.

When we are in a relationship, we plan for the future with our partner. We imagine what that future will look like, where we’ll live, what we’ll do together, and so on.

But when the relationship ends, those plans are shattered, and we must re-imagine our futures alone. In addition, we may question the breakup itself.

Did we make a mistake? Was it really love?

Was our personal baggage to blame? These types of questions can linger for weeks, months, or even years after the end of a relationship, causing emotional turmoil and mental anguish.

Reasons for Difficulty in Moving On

Moving on from a breakup can be challenging, and there are several reasons why. Let’s explore some of these reasons and look at ways to overcome them.

Not Following the

No-Contact Rule

Unlike business relationships, maintaining contact with an ex after a romantic relationship can lead to an unhealthy addiction. Have you ever found yourself picking up the phone to call or text your ex, or perhaps checking out their social media pages?

These behaviours only prolong the pain of the breakup and can prevent you from moving on.

Social Media Interference

Speaking of social media, staying connected with your ex via social media can become a significant barrier to emotional recovery and hinder your ability to move on. Stalking your ex on social media or any other online channels will only prolong the process because it’s impossible to let go if you and him are still online friends.

So, unfriend, unfollow, and unfriend again, move on.


Losing a relationship also means losing a significant source of companionship and emotional support. It’s normal to feel profoundly lonely after a breakup.

To combat this feeling, focus on spending time with supportive friends and family, continuing with your hobbies and interests, and embracing new experiences.

Codependent Tendencies

If you find it hard to imagine a life without your partner, you may have codependent tendencies that require a shift in focus. In other words, you must change your focus from being dependent on someone else to being self-reliant.

Work on building your self-esteem, identify and seek support for any underlying emotional issues and begin imagining a life alone with intentions to fill it up with fulfilling hobbies and interests in tandem with healthy habits.

Lack of Closure

An unresolved emotional connection can lead to a lack of closure and prevent you from moving on from the relationship. It’s important to give yourself time to process your emotions fully, but also give yourself the grace to know that it may take time to heal from your emotional pain.

Take time to seek closure through a therapist or confiding in supportive friends and family. Seek self-help books for clarity.

Euphoric Recall

Remembering only the good times in your previous failed relationship is often a trap that people fall into which can be so infectious and constantly robs you of the chance of reaching closure with definite cause and effect. While it’s natural to have positive memories of our past relationships, the truth is that every relationship has its ups and downs.

Try to focus on the reality of the relationship and recall the positive and negative aspects of it.

Loss of Future

After a breakup, it can be challenging to reconnect with your identity or envision a future without your partner. As aforementioned, this scenario can cause an existential crisis of epic proportions.

It can be helpful to explore new activities, hobbies, and interests, setting goals for your future can also help guide you through significant changes, including moving on from a relationship.

Empathy for Ex

It can be hard to let go of empathy and care for your ex-partner after a breakup, but continuing to worry about or care for an ex can prolong the process of moving on. Remember, moving on from the relationship isn’t a betrayal or lack of empathy towards your ex-partner; it is a necessary step for your emotional health and wellness.

Loss of Identity

When relationships take a central space in your life, the loss of that relationship can lead to an identity crisis. It’s important to remember that a relationship doesn’t define you as a person.

Taking time to connect with yourself, exploring new activities and hobbies, set goals, and reconnecting with your spirituality is essential to overcoming the fear of identity loss. In conclusion, breakups are never easy, and moving on can be challenging.

But it’s important to remember that life is full of changes and transitions. Take the necessary steps to heal, find closure, and explore new opportunities.

Seek out support from friends, family, or even a therapist if necessary. Moving on may be challenging, but it is possible, and there are many opportunities to find happiness and fulfillment once again.

Coping with the aftermath of a breakup is a challenging and emotional process. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of how to move forward.

However, there are various effective coping strategies that can help you navigate your way through the pain and heal after a breakup.


The first rule in recovery after a breakup is time. Remember that healing after a breakup takes time.

You can expect to experience an array of emotions such as sadness, anger, and confusion. Give yourself time to feel the emotions without trying to suppress them.

Cry if you feel like it; you will feel better afterward. Engage in activities that you enjoy and nourish yourself with healthy food.

Create a peaceful environment and spend some alone time, getting in touch with yourself. Once you can calm and nurture the emotions, be sure to build new support systems with healthy friends and family.

Find different ways to spend quality time alone as embracing solitude is critical in improving your self-awareness and mental capacity. Seeking Help

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you are having trouble dealing with your emotions after a breakup.

A therapist can help you work through your feelings, provide insight into the relationship and break-up, and offer guidance on how to heal and move forward. A professional therapist can offer personalized coping mechanisms towards healing and a wellness plan.

You can seek support for your mental or emotional journey through books, online communities, and support groups.

No-Contact Rule

The no-contact rule is one of the most effective ways to move on after a breakup. It involves cutting off contact with your ex-partner for a specific period, or even indefinitely.

This rule helps provide much-needed space away from your ex-partner to help you develop clarity and objectivity to look at your relationship, build your anxiety immunity towards further heartbreak, and develop resistance towards future relationships.

Finding Companionship

During and after a breakup, it can be easy to become isolated and disconnected from people, resulting in feelings of loneliness. Try to reconnect with your friends’ social circle, make new connections, and engage in hobbies that fill your heart.

Rediscover the things that you once enjoyed doing, and pursue them with loved ones or try discovering new interests. Being surrounded by supportive and healthy friends and family is an essential ingredient to the healing process.

Envisioning a New Future

Breakups create an opportunity for growth and change. Breakaway from habits that negate growth and embrace self-compassion and curiosity to birth new interests.

Seize the opportunity to explore new interests, tangents and set new achievable goals. It helps to write down new aspirations or a journal to chronicle your growth.

With a clear vision of where to go, your past stops haunting you and a new future blooms in the horizon.

Remembering Why the Relationship Ended

After a breakup, there is a tendency to only remember positive memories of the relationship and forget what led to it ending. It is important to recall and focus on the reasons why the relationship ended, as this helps you build self-respect and healthy boundaries.

Writing these down will help you emotionally reconnect while developing resilience in building future relationships, and remind you of the areas that need improvement. In conclusion, healing after a breakup can be a long and challenging process.

However, with the right support and coping mechanisms, healing and moving on is possible. Recognize that time is needed and cut ties with your previous partner.

Focus on self-care and enlisting support systems such as therapy sessions, family, or friends to help you cope. Keep doing the things you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to try new things and experiences.

Learn about yourself and how you really want to live your life in the future, this will become the foundation as you rebuild paths towards an even better future. In conclusion, the journey towards healing from a breakup is never easy.

It requires effort, patience, and an openness to seek support and embrace opportunities for growth. Coping strategies like giving yourself time, seeking professional help, embracing the no-contact rule, finding companionship, envisioning a new future and remembering why the relationship ended are key ingredients to help you navigate through the pain while rebuilding towards a desirable future.

Ultimately, however, it’s important to remember that healing is a process, and each person’s journey is unique. Be gentle with yourself, and above all, stay committed and optimistic as you continue to heal and move on.

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