Understanding Closure in Relationships: Why It’s Important and How to Get It
Relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are times when we feel like we’ve found our soulmate, and other times when we can’t wait to forget about someone.
But no matter how things end, there’s always something that lingers—unanswered questions, loose ends, and emotional issues. This is where closure comes in.
It’s the process of healing and coming to terms with the end of a relationship, so we can move on without carrying any baggage. In this article, we’ll explore what closure is, why it’s important, and how to get it.
What is Closure in a Relationship?
According to Arie W. Kruglanski, a psychologist at the University of Maryland and former president of the American Psychological Society and Division of Personality and Social Psychology of the American Psychological Association, the need for closure is “a desire for a firm answer to a question and an aversion toward ambiguity.” In the context of relationships, closure can provide the answers we need to move on with our lives. It gives us a sense of finality, so we don’t have to keep wondering what went wrong and blaming ourselves for it.
Importance of Closure
Closure is essential, especially after a breakup, because it allows us to deal with emotional issues and let go of the past. We need closure to move on from a failed relationship and start fresh.
Without it, we might find ourselves stuck in a mind loop, going over and over the same questions without getting any answers. Closure provides the answers we need to gain a sense of closure and peace of mind. It’s an opportunity to heal and prepare ourselves for a new relationship.
How to Ask for Closure
Asking for closure can be difficult, especially if your partner has ghosted you. You may want to text or call them to get an explanation, but sometimes, a heart-to-heart conversation is the only way to get closure.
Here’s how to do it:
- Be Composed Stay calm and composed during the conversation. Approach the topic with sensitivity.
- Find the Right Moment Pick an appropriate time and place to have the conversation.
- Be Honest and Direct Be honest about your feelings and the reason why you want closure.
- Listen Listen to what your partner has to say. Hear them out even if you’re hurt.
- Accept the Answer Accept the answer you get, even if it’s not the one you were hoping for.
How to Give Closure
If you’re the one breaking up with someone, it’s your responsibility to give them closure. Here are some tips:
- Be Honest Be honest about why you’re breaking up and tell them the true reason.
- Take Responsibility Take responsibility for your actions and apologize if you’ve hurt them.
- End on Good Terms End the relationship on good terms.
- Set Clear Boundaries Set clear boundaries so you both know what to expect going forward.
Is Closure Necessary?
Closure is necessary because it allows us to move on without any resentment. We have a right to know why things ended and we need answers to make sense of the relationship.
Without closure, we might hold onto false hope or project our issues onto future relationships. Closure helps us avoid these pitfalls and have meaningful, healthy relationships going forward.
Reasons Why Closure is Important in a Relationship
- Answers to Questions Closure provides answers to the questions we ask after a relationship ends.
- Learning from Mistakes Closure helps us learn from our mistakes and avoid them in future relationships.
- Accepting the End Closure allows us to accept the end of a relationship and move on without holding onto false hope.
- Acknowledgment of One’s Role Closure allows us to acknowledge our role in the relationship and take responsibility for our mistakes.
- Making Amends Closure gives us an opportunity to make amends and end the relationship on good terms.
- Sense-Making Closure helps us make sense of the relationship and understand why things ended the way they did.
- Understanding Oneself Closure provides an opportunity for self-discovery and recognition of our goals and values.
- Avoiding False Hope Closure eliminates false hope, so we don’t end up projecting our issues onto future relationships.
- Relationships Without Resentment Closure helps us avoid resentment and move on with our lives.
- Avoiding Projecting onto a Future Partner Closure helps us avoid projecting our emotional baggage onto future partners and starting new relationships on a clean slate.
Conclusion
Closure is essential for emotional healing and moving on from a failed relationship. It gives us a sense of finality and allows us to accept the end of a relationship.
Closure may be challenging to get, but it’s worth it. Asking for closure and giving closure needs to be done with care and sensitivity.
Remember, closure allows us to start new relationships on a clean slate and avoid carrying any emotional baggage from the past.
Finding Closure
Closure is crucial in the healing process of any relationship, but it can be a challenging task. It’s not always easy to find closure, but there are ways to get there. In this article, we’ll discuss some ways to find closure after a relationship ends.
Writing a Letter or Email
Writing a letter or email can be a great way to get negative emotions off your chest and find closure. You can write down all your feelings, including what you’re angry or upset about, why the relationship ended, and what you want to say to your ex.
You can either send the letter or email or keep it to yourself. Writing your feelings down on paper can be a great way to process them and let go of any resentment or anger towards your ex.
In writing your letter or email, you can start by expressing your feelings and all you want to say. Don’t hold anything back and say what you truly feel.
You can also apologize if you need to, or say goodbye if that’s what you need. Keep in mind that this letter or email is all about finding closure for yourself, not trying to win your ex back or starting an argument.
Coming to Terms with the Breakup
A breakup can be hard to accept, but it’s essential to find closure and move on. Coming to terms with the reality of the breakup can help you accept the end of the relationship and progress to healing.
It’s not easy to accept the reality of the experience, but it is an important step in finding closure. An excellent way to come to terms with the end of a relationship is to acknowledge why the breakup happened.
Be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your role in the relationship. Perhaps you committed mistakes or expectations that were not met.
Determine what went wrong and how you can learn from this experience and make healthier choices in future relationships. This can help you move on and find closure.
Cutting Off Communication
Cutting off communication can be helpful when trying to find closure. It can be tempting to check up on your ex on social media or send them a message, but resist the urge to do so.
Stalking them can only prolong the pain and delay the healing process. It’s crucial to cut off all ties with your ex when the relationship is over.
Block them on social media and delete their number. This can prevent you from seeing any information that could delay your closure.
Continuously seeing pictures of your ex and updates about their new life will only make the healing process more difficult.
Allowing Oneself to Feel Sad
Grieving is a natural part of the healing process. Give yourself permission to feel sad and grieve the relationship.
Acknowledge the pain and discomfort and allow yourself to process the emotions associated with the breakup. It’s important to avoid numbing the pain by resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drugs, alcohol, or rebounds.
Don’t fall into the trap of avoiding the pain by distracting yourself from the issues at hand. It’s critical to allow yourself to feel the emotions, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
Allow yourself to cry and talk about your feelings if necessary.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes finding closure can be difficult, and professional help may be necessary. Seeking a therapist can be helpful in processing the emotions associated with a failed relationship.
A therapist can provide strategies and coping skills to help you heal and move on from the relationship healthily. A therapist can also help you understand why the relationship ended and help you identify any patterns that may need to be addressed in the future.
They can also provide a supportive environment to unpack and process your emotions healthily.
Finding closure after a relationship ends can be challenging, but it is essential to move on without any emotional baggage.
Writing a letter or email, accepting the reality of the breakup, cutting off communication, allowing yourself to grieve, and seeking professional help can be helpful in finding the closure you need to move on and find happiness. Remember always to be gentle with yourself and take the time you need to process your emotions healthily.
In conclusion, closure is an essential process that allows us to heal and move on from a failed relationship. Closure provides answers, helps us learn from our mistakes, and accepts the end of the relationship.
Whether it’s asking for closure or giving closure, it needs to be done with care and sensitivity. There are various ways to find closure, such as writing a letter or email, accepting the reality of the breakup, cutting off communication, allowing ourselves to feel sad, and seeking professional help.
Closure may be challenging, but it’s worth it for our emotional wellbeing and ability to start new relationships on a clean slate. Remember, it’s essential to take the time you need to process your emotions healthily and move forward with a positive outlook.
