The Mating Grounds

10 Red Flags That You’re Dating a Mean Person

Dating a mean person can be a nightmare. You might start to see some signs that are red flags for any relationship.

However, it can be challenging to know what exactly you are dealing with. If you can relate, read on to discover some of the signs that you are dating a mean person and what you can do about it.

Signs of Dating a Mean Person

Constant Arguing

Are you always fighting and arguing with your partner? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them, not knowing what might trigger another argument?

This can be a sign that you are dating a mean person. Constant arguing can be exhausting, and it is not healthy for any relationship.

Lack of Empathy

Does your partner refuse to see other people’s perspectives and emotions? Do they always put themselves first, even if it means hurting you or someone else?

This is a significant sign that you are dating a mean person. A lack of empathy can make it challenging to maintain a healthy relationship because your partner will not understand or care about your feelings.

Gossiping and Insecurity

Is your partner constantly talking about other people behind their backs? Do they seem jealous or insecure about your relationships with friends and family?

This behavior is a clear sign that your partner is mean and not a good friend. A partner who gossips and is insecure can be very toxic and damaging to your relationship.

Depression and Imbalance of Love

Do you feel drained and empty in your partner’s presence? Do you feel like they are not reciprocating your feelings and love?

This can be a sign that you are in a relationship with a mean person. Depression and a constant imbalance of love are common consequences of a toxic relationship.

Lying a Lot

Does your partner lie to you or others often? Do they manipulate situations and information to their advantage?

This behavior is a strong sign that you are dating a mean person. Lying and manipulation can cause trust issues and make you feel insecure in your relationship.


Does your partner feel pleasure in others’ misfortune and lack empathy towards others’ pain? This is a clear sign that you are dealing with a mean person.

Schadenfreude is a toxic trait that can cause emotional pain and harm.

Dealing with Mean People in a Relationship

Regain Control

The first step in dealing with a mean partner is to regain control over yourself. You need to learn how to manage your triggers and emotions when you are around your partner.

Emotional regulation is key to taking control of your relationship.

Show Compassion

Showing compassion towards your partner can help you understand where they’re coming from. Some mean behaviors may stem from past traumas or insecurities, so it’s important to show empathy.

However, this does not mean that you should overlook or condone their hurtful actions.

Learn to Be Assertive

Being assertive means standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. It is crucial to learn how to communicate your needs and feelings effectively.

Your partner needs to respect you and understand that they cannot treat you badly. Assertive communication is key to a healthy relationship.

Communicate at the Right Time

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. However, it’s essential to choose the right time and place to have a conversation with your partner.

Making sure that you have each other’s full attention and that you both feel calm and open is vital.

Show Influence and Patience

Dealing with a mean partner can be challenging, and it may require outside help. Couples therapy can be an excellent way to work through issues and learn how to deal with them positively.

Additionally, showing patience and being a positive influence in your partner’s life can lead to gradual change.


In summary, dating a mean person can be emotionally draining and damaging to your mental health. The signs are not always obvious, but constant arguing, lack of empathy, gossiping, lying, and pleasure from other’s misfortunes are some of the common ones.

Remember, regaining control, showing compassion, being assertive, communicating effectively, and being patient and positive can help you deal with mean people. In conclusion, recognizing the signs of dating a mean person can save you from the emotional turmoil that comes with a toxic relationship.

Constant arguing, lack of empathy, gossiping, lying, and pleasure from others’ misfortunes are significant red flags that should not be overlooked. Dealing with mean people requires self-control, empathy, assertiveness, effective communication, and patience.

By understanding and applying these necessary steps, you can take control of the situation and make a positive change in your relationship. Remember to prioritize your mental and emotional health and surround yourself with positive and supportive people.

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