How to Survive a Bad Breakup: Advice That Will Actually Work
Breakups can be tough. Really tough.
They shake the foundation of our emotional world, sending us down a path of confusion and heartache. During times like these, we look for guidance and support from our loved ones.
But sometimes, the advice we receive isn’t helpful at all. In fact, it can be harmful.
So, how do we move on from a bad breakup? What advice should we actually follow?
In this article, we’ll explore both sides of the coin: bad breakup advice and good breakup advice.
Bad Breakup Advice
1. Closure: Highly Overrated and Can Cause Harm
“Get closure.” This is one of the most common pieces of advice that people receive after a breakup. But the truth is, closure is highly overrated.
It’s not a magical cure that makes all our pain go away. Moreover, pushing for closure when it’s not possible can cause more harm than good.
It might be better to give each other space and move on.
2. Stay Busy: Distractions That Don’t Help
Another popular piece of advice is to stay busy.
Go out, have fun, attend parties, drink, and even date someone else. The idea is that these things will distract you and help you to forget about your ex.
The reality is that it’s just a temporary fix. You might end up using drugs or alcohol to cope or hop from one relationship to another without giving yourself time to heal.
3. Start Dating: Repeat Mistakes and Avoid Reflection
Some people believe that the best way to get over someone is to start dating again. However, rushing into a new relationship can lead to repeating the same mistakes, and avoiding reflecting on the reasons the previous relationship didn’t work out.
4. Stop Crying: Pathetic or Healthy to Mourn?
It’s okay to cry after a breakup.
It’s healthy to let out your emotions. Anyone who tells you otherwise is simply wrong.
Mourn, scream, and let it all out.
5. Get Revenge: Immature and Ridiculous
Revenge might feel good in the moment, but it’s a bad idea.
Don’t waste your time with schemes to get back at your ex; it’s just an immature and ridiculous way to handle things. Plus, you might even find yourself in trouble with the law.
6. Stay Friends: Give Yourself Time Apart to Heal
Staying friends with your ex immediately after a breakup is rarely a good idea. You both need time apart to mourn and heal without the pressure of trying to maintain a friendship.
Reconnecting later when you’re both in a better emotional place could be more beneficial.
7. Fake It Until You Make It: Unhealthy Coping Mechanism
Faking happiness and pretending to be over your ex when you’re not is an unhealthy coping mechanism.
You’re not doing yourself any favors by pretending everything is okay when it’s not.
Good Breakup Advice
1. Cry: Allow Your Emotions to Run Its Course
Allowing yourself to mourn is an important part of moving on. Cry if you need to.
There’s no need to stifle your emotions. It’s perfectly normal to feel devastated after a breakup.
2. Put Your Phone Down: Avoid Unhealthy Behavior
While it’s tempting to stalk your ex on social media, it’s better to put your phone down and avoid the rabbit hole of unhealthy behavior. You don’t want to have your mental health suffer because of what you might see or find.
3. Live In Reality: Reflection on the Good and Bad
It’s easy to remember only the good times and forget about the bad. Instead, reflect on the relationship as a whole, good and bad.
Living in reality will help you accept what happened and begin to move forward.
4. You’re Not Broken: You’re Whole and Capable of Adjustment
You’re not broken because your relationship ended.
You’re a whole person, capable of adjusting to change, and moving on to a brighter future. Believing that you’re worthless because of a failed relationship is a limiting belief that will keep you from being happy.
5. You Deserve Time Off: Healing and Reflection Time
Take time off for yourself to heal and reflect. This could mean going on a trip or trying something new.
Do things that you enjoy that you might not have done when you were in a relationship.
6. Remember Being Alone Isn’t the Same as Being Lonely: Be Comfortable with Yourself
It’s important to be comfortable with being alone.
Being in a relationship does not always guarantee companionship and support. Strive for real connections with people who make you happy and supported.
Consider therapy to help you navigate your emotions.
7. Put It Away: Memories, Memorabilia and Pain
Keeping memorabilia from your relationship around can be painful.
It’s okay to put things away or get rid of them. Don’t punish yourself by holding onto things that remind you of the pain.
8. Do Good for Yourself: Hobbies and Self-Care for Happiness
Filling your time with self-care and a hobby or two leaves little time to dwell in heartache. Take care of your mind, body, and soul.
Find something that makes you happy, and do it frequently.
9. Reach Out: Love, Support, and Therapy
It’s okay to reach out for help when you need it.
You’re not weak or pathetic for seeking love and support. Talking with a therapist or a trusted friend can help you process your emotions.
10. Plan Ahead: Future-Focused and Capable of Moving on
Plan for your future. Letting go of the past and focusing on the future is a crucial step in healing.
Be future-focused and know that you are capable of moving on despite what happened during the breakup.
Conclusion
We hope this article was helpful in guiding you through a rough breakup. Remember, bad breakup advice can do more harm than good.
Choose instead to surround yourself with good breakup advice and recommence a more positive path moving forward. While it may not be easy, take your time in healing and moving on to better days.
In conclusion, navigating a breakup can be challenging, and advice from friends and family may not always be helpful. It’s important to recognize the difference between bad and good breakup advice, and to follow only the advice that is beneficial for your emotional and mental well-being.
Strategies like giving yourself time to mourn, avoiding unhealthy behavior, and seeking support from loved ones and therapists can help you move on in a positive direction. Remember, the end of a relationship is not the end of your life; it’s the start of a new chapter, and you have the power to take control of your future and find happiness.
