The Mating Grounds

11 Dos and Don’ts of Breaking Up: How to Recover and Improve

So, you are going through a breakup right now? It must be tough, but you are not alone.

Heartbreaks and breakups are not only common but also a part of life. However, how you deal with it is what makes a difference.

In this article, we will be discussing the dos and don’ts of breaking up, as well as the emotional impact it can have on you. Read on to find out more.

What Not to Do After a Breakup

Rushing Oneself

Feeling lonely and wanting to fill the void of your ex-partner is understandable, but rushing into the arms of a new partner won’t help. Jumping into a rebound relationship may feel like a good idea at the time, but it is unlikely to last and could lead to even more heartache down the line.

Give yourself time to reflect, re-evaluate and focus on healing before jumping into a new relationship.

Badmouthing the Ex

Feeling hurt and angry after a breakup is normal. However, it is not okay to resort to malicious gossip, lies and rumor mongering about your ex.

This is toxic behavior that can backfire on you later. It is essential to remember that badmouthing your ex only reflects on you, and you might regret it later.

Be kind, take the high road, and walk away with dignity.

Spilling Secrets

Your ex has shared intimate details with you, and you have shared thoughts and secrets with them. Just because the relationship ended doesn’t mean that trust should.

Spreading confidential information, exposing secrets, and violating their trust will only make it harder for you to move on in the future. Keep those secrets locked up and never expose them to hurt the other person.

Drunk Texting

Alcohol and heartbreak do not mix. Avoid drunk texting your ex.

Remember, it is essential to maintain your dignity during a break-up. Drunk texting can lead to regrettable and embarrassing conversations that you will never be able to take back.

Take a deep breath before responding, and if the temptation to send drunk messages is too strong, put your phone away!


Revenge is not a wise move. Doing anything petty, spiteful, or malicious to your ex-partner can only lead to short-term satisfaction and long-term regret.

Don’t engage in revenge sex or try to make your ex jealous. Taking revenge will only make you feel like you’ve lost control of yourself by losing credibility and respect.

Chasing the Ex

It’s tough to let go of someone you have loved and invested in. But chasing your ex will only lead to a loss of self-respect.

The relationship did not work out because it was not meant to be. Accept the situation as it is and move on with your life.

Continuing to pursue your ex can lead to disappointment and hinder your emotional healing process.

Playing the Blame Game

Pointing fingers and playing the blame game is not productive. It doesn’t help the current situation or the future.

Blaming your ex for everything that went wrong does not help either of you. Recognize that changes need to be made, and bitterness or holding on to grudges prevents healing.

Learning from the issues and applying them to new relationships is productive.

Dramatizing the Breakup

It is easy to fall into a downward spiral of self-pity. It is important to find balance in appreciating the experience you’ve gained from the relationship and finding ways to heal and move on.

Dramatizing the breakup will slow your process of healing and make it harder for you to move on. Learn to appreciate the benefits of a breakup, the experience, and the new lessons learned.


During a breakup, it is common to doubt oneself, especially if your partner initiated the break-up and walked away. Self-loathing and self-pity are counterproductive and can negatively impact your emotional health.

Change that attitude! Acknowledge your worth, learn to love yourself, and start anew. Self-care is cardinal at this moment.

Isolating Oneself

Going through a breakup can be very isolating. Leaving yourself unguarded can result in depression and unproductive thoughts.

Engaging yourself with productive activities like hanging out with friends, family, or even solo activities like hiking, reading, or journaling can give a great distraction and boost your ego.

Repeating Mistakes

What is the point of evaluating a past relationship if you are repeating the same mistake again? Identify destructive patterns and take note of them to avoid them in future relationships.

Learning from the past and applying those lessons to future relationship endeavors is what gives fulfillment.

Reconnecting with Other Exes

Reconnecting with other ex-partners when going through a breakup is a common way to feel comfortable with the familiar. However, doing so only brings temporary comfort and longing for the past.

Instead, focus on moving forward and let the past be by learning to appreciate other aspects of life that bring happiness.

The Emotional Impact of a Breakup

Heartbreak and Emotional Drain

It is never easy coping with a breakup and the overwhelming feelings of grief, sadness, and loneliness. It is normal to feel overwhelmed by emotions, but it is also important to recognize these feelings are temporary and it will get better.

Wallowing Spell

Taking some time out to grieve the relationship and allow yourself to experience these emotions is important. However, wallowing for too long will only slow down the healing process.

Missing the Ex

Missing your ex is normal. The person was once an integral part of your life, but you have to remember they are still on their journey, and so are you.

Normalizing Breakup Emotions

Normalizing how you feel is essential for your mental health. Allowing the emotion to overwhelm you may lead to mental and physical stress.

Acknowledge what you feel, deal with it, and move forward.

Best Thing That Happened

As time passes, many of us appreciate that the breakup was actually the best thing that happened. The breakup allowed for personal growth and the opportunity to expand our horizons.

In conclusion, breakups are usually not easy, but they are not the end of the world. Knowing the dos and don’ts of breaking up and recognizing the emotional impact it can have on you are important steps on the path to healing.

Always remember to appreciate the lessons learned, focus on the future, and most importantly, take care of yourself. You got this!

Congratulations! You’ve made it through the break-up and have found the strength to move forward.

Now comes one of the most challenging parts of the process – getting back to a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life. In this article, we will detail how to recover and improve after a break-up.

Not Rushing Oneself

Recovering from a break-up takes time and patience. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss, and don’t rush into a new relationship.

Take time to embrace self-care, set realistic goals, and make some improvements that can boost your confidence and bring happiness. Try new hobbies, read some books, engage in physical exercise, or attend travel events to let loose a little bit.

Healthy Expression of Anger

Anger is normal during the break-up recovery process. It is good to vent and release any pent-up anger using healthy boundaries.

Avoid calling or texting your ex in anger, or talking to mutual friends to get back at them- it only makes things worse.

Confidentiality and Trust

You might possess sensitive information regarding your ex-partner, sudden exposure of which can be heart-wrenching. You can maintain their trust and your integrity by keeping confidentiality of those secrets.

Sobriety and Self-control

The break-up can lead you towards things that will harm you in the end. Alcohol and drug abuse can lead to reckless behavior, making it harder to recover from the break-up.

Maintaining sobriety, self-control and moderation to steer away from temptations would give good decision making power.

Moving On and Letting Go

It is always an excellent step to stay realistic about the end of the relationship and move on. Accepting the current situation and cutting all ties with your ex-partner will help tremendously in the recovery process.

Letting go of every of attachment and replacing them with positivity might be hard, but it’s given time to heal.

Avoiding Isolation

Isolation is not the best idea, regardless of how you feel initially. Reach out to friends and relatives for support or join a support group for people dealing with a break-up.

Being with like-minded people who have experienced your challenges can give the strength to move on.

Learning From Past Mistakes

Analyzing the past is a great way to realize mistakes and be on the lookout for red flags in future relationships. Taking note of past mistakes, learning from them, and making better choices would give you a head-start in the next relationship.

Prioritizing Personal Growth

Focusing on personal growth and development can help boost self-confidence and a positive outlook on life. Work towards personal goals like finishing a degree or improving skills.

Prioritize self-care, take trips, or attend events that make you happy. This will generate a sense of accomplishment and a positive mindset that would drive you in the path of healing.

Recovery from a break-up is an ongoing process that requires time and energy. Always remember to prioritize personal growth, avoid isolating yourself, and learn from past mistakes.

Ultimately, embracing self-care and taking control of your life will lead to long-term happiness, independence, and emotional stability. In conclusion, breakups can be incredibly difficult to navigate, but it is essential to learn how to recover and improve after them.

By focusing on the dos and don’ts of breaking up, recognizing the emotional impact, and taking steps to improve, you can come out on the other side stronger, happier, and more resilient. Prioritizing self-care, healthy expression of emotion, maintaining confidentiality and trust, sobriety, moving on and letting go, avoiding isolation, learning from past mistakes, and prioritizing personal growth are critical components of recovering after a breakup.

It is a journey, but by putting in the effort, you can come out a better version of yourself. Remember, the key is to focus on improving yourself and taking control of your happiness, and you will ultimately find the fulfillment that you seek.

Popular Posts