The Mating Grounds

11 Effective Ways to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex

How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex: 11 Steps to End the Cycle

Hey there! Are you still thinking about your ex? It’s okay, it’s normal, and it happens to a lot of us.

But after a certain amount of time, it’s important to start healing and moving on. Here are 11 actions you can take to stop thinking about your ex and start focusing on yourself.

Take Time to Grieve

First and foremost, give yourself time to mourn the end of the relationship. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even relieved.

Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions and work through them at your own pace. Remember, everyone grieves differently, so don’t compare your process to anyone else’s.

Delete and Unfollow Them on Social Media

One of the hardest parts about getting over an ex is constantly seeing their updates and posts on social media. So, take control of the situation and unfollow or even block them.

Seeing their face or reading about their life adventures can keep them at the forefront of your mind. It’s time to detox your social media and move forward.

Get Rid of Their Stuff

If you have any of their stuff lingering around your apartment, it’s time to box it up and send it back to them. This goes for anything they gifted you, too.

Clearing away any tangible reminders of them will make it easier to let go of the relationship.

Avoid Their Friends and Family

Here’s the tricky part: if you’re still in communication with their friends or family, their updates could also be subconsciously reminding you of your ex. You don’t have to completely cut them out of your life, but at least taking a break could help you move forward.

Make a List of Their Flaws

It’s easy to idealize your ex and romanticize the relationship after it’s over. But remember, everyone has flaws.

Take some time to write down their annoying habits or negative qualities that ultimately contributed to the end of the relationship. This list will serve as a reminder of why the relationship didn’t work and could stop you from rethinking the past.

Exercise Regularly

Getting active and focusing on your physical health is not only good for your body, but it’s also good for your mental health. Exercise releases endorphins that can boost your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Whether it’s a quick jog or a yoga class, find a way to move your body and clear your mind.

Create a No Contact Rule

If you’re constantly checking in on your ex, it’s time to make a no contact rule. This means you don’t initiate any communication and you don’t respond to any messages or calls from them.

Cutting off contact can be difficult but it’s necessary to mentally distance yourself and start the healing process.

Take Up a New Hobby or Activity

Sometimes the best way to forget about someone is to immerse yourself in a new passion or activity. Whether it’s painting, learning a new language, or trying out rock climbing, find something that excites you and challenge yourself.

This could also be a great opportunity to meet new people who share your interests.

Talk to Someone About How You Feel

Sometimes, it’s healing to talk through your thoughts and emotions with someone you trust. This could be a close friend, family member or a professional therapist.

Getting an outsider’s perspective and support can provide valuable insight and help you gain perspective.

Learn to Differentiate between Obsession and Intuition

It’s normal to think about your ex from time to time, but constantly obsessing over them could signify a deep-rooted issue. Be honest with yourself and determine if it’s caused by deep emotions or intuition.

Trust your gut and recognize when it’s time to take action.

Focus on You

Lastly, and most importantly, focus on yourself. Take the time to practice self-care by doing things that make you feel good.

Whether it’s getting a manicure, reading a book, or taking a bubble bath, prioritize your mental and physical health. You deserve it, and soon enough, you’ll be over your ex and ready to embrace this new chapter of your life.

In conclusion, moving on from an ex can be tough, but taking small steps to prioritize yourself is the ultimate goal. Remember to give yourself time to grieve and take control of your thoughts and actions.

By implementing these 11 actions, you can stop thinking about your ex and start living your life to the fullest. You got this!

Final Thoughts: Tips to Keep in Mind When Thinking About Your Ex

Thinking about an ex is a daily occurrence for many people after a breakup.

Whether its a brief thought or a deep dive into old memories, its normal to think about someone who was once a significant part of your life. However, there’s a point where it can feel like it’s taking over your life, leading to confusion and frustration.

So, how can we differentiate between normal thinking and obsessive thinking? And what can we do to move on?

The Normalcy of Thinking About an Ex

It’s natural to think about an ex after a breakup. You shared memories, experiences, and emotions with them which carved a little space in your soul.

It’s reasonable for those memories and experiences to appear in your thoughts every now and then. Even after time has passed, it’s possible to see something that reminds you of them, or experience a feeling that takes you back to a place that involves them.

This doesnt mean you’re not over them; it’s just a part of moving on and becoming more integrated with your past.

It’s essential to recognize that thinking about an ex does not necessarily mean you’re still in love with them or want to get back together.

You can have positive memories and still have love for someone, while also not being in a place where getting back together is a viable option.

When Thinking About an Ex Becomes Obsessive

It’s one thing to have natural, occasional thoughts about someone, but its another if thinking about them starts to affect your daily life. Obsessive thinking can be dangerous and take control of your mind, leading to unhealthy emotions.

When you can’t stop thinking about your ex, it can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and negativity that will block your way of moving on. Of course, obsessive thinking and behavior are complex, and what might seem like dwelling on someone could also be a sign of something more profound.

Thus its best to understand the difference and get to the root of the problem.

There’s no easy way to tell when thoughts have become obsessive, but there are symptoms to watch out for.

These include feeling overwhelmed by thoughts related to your ex, including irrational feelings of romance or jealousy. It could also manifest in behaviors such as checking their social media repeatedly, interacting with their friends, or going out of your way to bump into them.

Tips to Move On

If you find yourself struggling to move on or experiencing obsessive thoughts, there are things you can do to get back on track.

Take Time to Heal

Its important to allow yourself the time to grieve, to feel all the emotions that come up without repressing them, and heal at your own speed.


Meditation is an excellent option to quell obsessive thinking. Stillness practices like this can help you disassociate from anxious thoughts, focus on breathing and relax your mind, and regulate your emotions and thought patterns.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries means eliminating things that remind you of your ex, such as photos or gifts, unfollowing them on social media, and deleting their contact information. Wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start.

In this way, distracting thoughts will come into your mind less often.

Reflect and Reframe

Reflection involves looking inward and evaluating your perceptions and emotions regarding the situation. At the same time, reframing helps us redefine these thought processes positively.

Take out time to reflect on why the relationship ended while finding positives that you have learned and grown through the process.

Talk to Someone

Therapy is an incredibly useful tool in dealing with obsessive thoughts. A therapist can help you manage your thoughts and emotions, particularly when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Make New Goals

Create fresh goals for yourself that have nothing to do with your ex. Invest that mental energy into accomplishing them.

This change will reduce your attention on thoughts of them and focus it back on you. In conclusion, it’s natural to have residual feelings after a breakup.

However, it’s essential to recognize when thinking about an ex has become obsessive and starts to affect you negatively. It’s not easy to overcome obsessive thinking, but its doable.

By implementing small daily changes, gradually shifting focus from past to present, and seeking support if necessary, you can progress in mindfulness and move towards a happier future. In summary, thinking about an ex is a normal occurrence after a breakup, but it’s crucial to recognize when it becomes obsessive and detrimental to your life.

The first step in moving on is taking time to heal and setting boundaries that allow you to focus on your own mental health. Learning to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy thoughts can shift your focus from the past to the present.

Remember, obsessive thinking is not an easy process to manage, but its doable. Implementing small daily changes, moving towards new goals, reframing thoughts positively, and seeking support if necessary will all play a big role in helping you move towards a happier future.

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