12 Strategies for Maintaining Sexual Self-Control in Relationships


Self-Control in Relationships: Maintaining Sexual Discipline

When we think of self-control, we tend to think of it in terms of healthy eating habits or quitting a bad habit, like smoking or drinking. However, self-control is also a crucial component for a healthy sexual relationship.

In this article, we will discuss the definition of self-control, the types of self-control, and strategies for maintaining sexual self-control in a relationship.

Definition of Self-Control

Self-control is the ability to regulate our responses to stimuli, thoughts, and emotions. It is the ability to exert self-mastery over our impulses and behaviors.

Types of Self-Control

There are three types of self-control: impulse control, movement control, and emotional control.

  • Impulse control involves resisting the urge to engage in immediate gratification, such as refraining from indulging in unhealthy snacks or avoiding impulsive decisions.
  • Movement control involves regulating our physical movements, such as avoiding fidgeting or tapping our feet.
  • Emotional control involves managing our emotional responses, such as not getting overly angry or upset in a situation.

Strategies for Sexual Self-Control

Maintaining sexual self-control can be particularly challenging in a relationship. Here are some strategies for staying sexually disciplined:

  1. Pray: Seek divine intervention through prayer, and ask for the strength to resist temptation and temptation-inducing situations.
  2. Control your mind: Be mindful of your thoughts and consciously redirect them when they veer towards sexual desires and fantasies.
  3. Movie choices: Be mindful of the types of movies you watch, avoid movies with sexual content and nudity, as they can lead to sexual arousal.
  4. Let go of x-rated material: Avoid pornographic content, and any other sexually suggestive materials that may lead you down the path of sexual temptation.
  5. Friends: Surround yourself with friends who support and encourage sexual self-discipline in their relationships.
  6. Self-control in other areas of life: Cultivate self-control in other areas of your life, such as work, your finances, and your health. This will strengthen your self-discipline muscle.
  7. Speak to a mentor: Find a trusted mentor with whom you can confide and seek advice on how to stay disciplined sexually.
  8. Count the cost: Remind yourself of the potential consequences of acting out sexually, whether it be loss of trust, infidelity, or even a breakup.
  9. Find a community: Join a community of sexually disciplined individuals seeking to support and encourage one another.
  10. Set boundaries: Be clear about your sexual boundaries with your partner and any triggering situations that you may encounter.
  11. Be honest with your partner: Communicate openly with your partner about your struggle with sexual self-discipline, and work together to support each other.
  12. Speak to a therapist: If you’re struggling with maintaining sexual self-control, seek the help of a professional therapist.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I maintain self-control in a relationship?

Maintaining self-control in a relationship requires intentional effort and self-discipline.

It involves being mindful of your thoughts, intentions, and behaviors with your partner, setting clear personal boundaries, seeking support from others, and being honest with yourself and your partner when you need help staying disciplined.

Why is sexual discipline important in a relationship?

Sexual discipline is important because it helps promote a healthy and trusting relationship. When two people have established boundaries and are committed to maintaining them, they build a foundation of trust that enhances physical intimacy.

In contrast, a lack of sexual discipline can lead to feelings of regret, shame, and guilt, which can inhibit intimacy and trust.

What are the negative effects of a lack of sexual self-control?

A lack of sexual self-control can lead to regret, sexual challenges, pornography addiction, and a decreased level of sexual satisfaction. It can also lead to infidelity and a loss of trust in a relationship.

Sexual Openness in Society: Debating the Need for Sexual Self-Control

The topic of sexual openness is a controversial and sensitive topic for many people. There are those who believe in embracing sexual freedom and promiscuity, while others advocate for sexual discipline and commitment.

In this section, we will discuss the debate on sexual self-control, the importance of sexual self-control, and the negative effects of a lack of sexual self-control.

Debate on Sexual Self-Control

The debate over sexual self-control centers around the question of whether sexual freedom or sexual discipline is the best approach for individuals and society as a whole. Those who advocate for sexual freedom argue that individuals should have the right to explore their sexuality without limits or social stigma.

On the other hand, those who advocate for sexual discipline argue that sexual promiscuity can lead to a host of societal and personal problems, such as infidelity, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional baggage.

Importance of Sexual Self-Control

Sexual self-control is important because it helps promote a healthy and trusting relationship, as we discussed earlier. It also helps individuals avoid the negative consequences of sexual activities that are driven by impulse and short-term desires.

Moreover, it helps individuals strengthen their ability to regulate their behaviors and emotions, which can be applied in all other areas of their lives.

Negative Effects of Lack of Sexual Self-Control

The negative effects of a lack of sexual self-control can be devastating. Infidelity is one of the most significant consequences of sexual promiscuity, which can lead to the breakdown of relationships and emotional trauma.

Sexually transmitted diseases are another consequence, which can lead to chronic health problems that affect individuals and society as a whole. Finally, a lack of sexual self-control can lead to emotional baggage, guilt, and shame that affect individuals’ self-esteem and mental health.


In summary, sexual self-control is essential for healthy relationships and personal well-being. It requires intentional effort and self-discipline but can be achieved through strategies such as prayer, controlling your mind, and setting boundaries with your partner.

By being mindful of your thoughts and actions, you can cultivate strong self-discipline in your sexual life and in other areas of your life. Remember, sexual self-control is not about repressing your desires but about regulating them to enhance intimacy and build trust in your relationship.

Self-control is a vital component in achieving personal success and in maintaining positive relationships with others. It is the ability to regulate one’s responses to stimuli, thoughts, and emotions.

Self-control can be divided into three types: impulse control, movement control, and emotional control.

Impulse Control

Impulse control refers to the ability to resist innate impulses, desires, or feelings that lead an individual to act without thinking. Such impulses include eating junk food, excessive spending, alcohol abuse, and addictive behaviors.

Individuals who struggle with impulse control wrestle with immediate gratification and find it difficult to delay their gratification for a better future. One of the common problems faced by those who struggle with impulse control is that they tend to make hasty, poor decisions that do more harm than good.

They are often blinded by their emotions and are unable to see the long-term ramifications of their actions.

Learning to overcome impulse control requires a concerted effort to be mindful of one’s emotional states, seeking introspection to understand what causes the impulse, actively seeking to avoid triggers that encourage such impulses and engaging in daily activities that will help develop a more consistent, rational response to impulse control.

Movement Control

Movement control refers to the ability to direct and manage one’s physical movements consciously. This type of self-control is essential in sports and physical activities where precise, controlled movements are necessary.

It involves honing fine motor skills, such as typing, driving, dancing, or playing musical instruments. Movement control requires a connection between the brain and the body, which may sound like a given, but it’s a process that can be easily disrupted.

Cognitive skills, memory, and emotional regulation are critical inputs for motor skills. These abilities allow the individual the ability to process complex movements effectively, and the greater the cognitive performance and emotional regulation, the better the motor abilities.

Individuals who struggle with movement control may exhibit symptoms such as restlessness, fidgeting hands/feet, or difficulty sitting still. However, with practice, an individual’s movement can improve.

Overriding the natural, inbuilt responses of the body takes conscious effort, and improving movement control can be challenging.

Emotional Control

Emotional control refers to the ability to manage strong emotions and keep them under check – specifically, extreme emotions like anger, deep sadness, or anxiety. This type of self-control is crucial for personal well-being, social interaction, and building healthy relationships with others.

Learning how to control one’s emotions helps reduce stress levels, improve social connections, and ensure that relationships don’t suffer when faced with emotional turmoil. By not reacting to each stimulus with raw, emotion-filled responses, individuals can avoid strained relationships and conflicts with others.

Managing emotions requires emotional intelligence (EI), which is the capacity to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in themselves and others. Emotional intelligence involves the ability to handle relationships appropriately with empathy, understanding, and respect.

By developing emotional intelligence through practices such as mindfulness, self-reflection, and active listening, individuals can improve emotional control and develop a stable core emotional foundation.

In conclusion, self-control is essential for individuals looking to lead a successful life and to build healthy relationships with others.

It involves managing impulses, controlling movements, and regulating emotions. To develop self-control, individuals must be mindful of their emotional states and regularly practice self-reflection, especially when faced with impulses, movement, or emotions.

With effort and patience, self-control can be developed and maintained, leading to more fulfilling personal and social lives. In conclusion, understanding the types of self-control and how to develop them is critical for achieving personal and social success.

Impulse control helps individuals resist innate impulses and make long-term decisions that lead to better outcomes. Movement control requires a conscious effort to direct and manage physical movements, an essential skill for sports and other physical activities.

Emotional control involves managing strong emotions and keeping them under check, allowing individuals to build healthy relationships with others. By developing self-control through consistent effort and self-reflection, individuals can lead a fulfilling life, both personally and socially, while improving their ability to succeed in different endeavors.

Popular Posts

Sign up for free email updates: