How to Pull Back in a Relationship When Things Aren’t Working Out
Relationships are an important part of our lives, but there can be times when things just don’t seem to be working out. Whether it’s due to a lack of respect, selfishness, neglect, or just a feeling of being unappreciated, it’s important to know how to create healthy distance when a relationship isn’t bringing you the happiness and fulfillment you desire.
In this article, we’ll explore the different reasons why you may feel the need to pull back from a relationship, as well as some practical tips and strategies you can use to create distance. We’ll be using personal pronouns like “you” and “we” to make this a conversational and friendly read that you can connect with.
Reasons to Pull Back in a Relationship
1. Lack of Respect
One of the main reasons people may need to pull back from a relationship is a lack of respect. This could manifest in many ways, including verbal abuse, name-calling, yelling, fighting, gaslighting, and even physical abuse. In a healthy relationship, there should be mutual respect and a willingness to communicate respectfully even during disagreements.
If your partner is not treating you with the respect you deserve, then creating distance may be necessary to protect your emotional and physical well-being.
2. Selfishness
Another reason to pull back from a relationship could be due to selfishness. If you feel like your partner is not reciprocating the balance of give and take, or they are only thinking about themselves but not considering your needs, then this might be a sign of selfishness.
A healthy relationship requires a level of selflessness, where both parties are willing to compromise and make sacrifices for each other. If you’re feeling like you’re always the one making the concessions and your partner isn’t putting in the same effort, then creating some distance may help regain this balance.
3. Lack of Appreciation
It’s important to feel appreciated in a relationship, but sometimes this isn’t the case. Whether your partner is failing to acknowledge the things you do for them, or they’re not showing you gratitude for the little things you do, this can take a toll on your emotional wellbeing. In a healthy relationship, both parties appreciate and show gratitude for each other’s efforts, regardless of how small they might be.
If you’re not getting this appreciation, you may need to create some distance to reflect on your needs and see if the relationship is meeting them.
4. Neglect
Neglect can take many forms in a relationship. It could be a lack of communication, avoidance, spending too much time playing video games or hanging out with friends, or even emotional abuse.
A healthy relationship requires communication, presence, and attention from both parties. If your partner is not giving you the attention and affection you need, then pulling back in the relationship may be necessary to refocus on your own needs and emotional wellbeing.
How to Pull Back in a Relationship and Create Distance
Now that you understand some of the reasons why you might need to pull back from a relationship, let’s look at some practical tips and strategies you can use to do so.
1. Rational Thinking
When trying to create distance in a relationship, it’s important to think rationally and not let your emotions control you. Rather than chasing after your partner, try to approach the situation in practical terms and ask yourself if the relationship is truly fulfilling your needs.
2. Pursue Hobbies
Distractions can be incredibly helpful when it comes to pulling back in a relationship. Pursuing hobbies or interests that make you happy can be an excellent way to find a center point outside of the relationship.
3. Spend Time with Friends
Hanging out with friends and loved ones can provide emotional support and be a source of fun. It’s essential to maintain a support system outside of the relationship, and spending time with friends can be an excellent way to do this.
4. Stay Busy
Staying busy can be a great way to distract yourself and avoid dwelling on the relationship. Going to the gym, taking on extra work, or having dinner with friends are all excellent ways to stay active and engaged with life.
5. Focus on Personal Goals
Focusing on personal goals can provide a source of energy and determination that can help strengthen your resolve to create distance in a relationship. Working towards a particular prize, like a promotion or a healthier lifestyle, can be an excellent motivator.
6. Let Them Come to You
Setting boundaries and allowing your partner to pursue you rather than chasing them can be an excellent way to create distance without being confrontational. By setting up obstacles to their obsessions, such as not responding immediately to texts and calls, you can regain a sense of strength and self-control in the relationship.
7. Obstacles to Obsession
The self-control required to resist emotional reactions and shift into your rational mind can be a significant obstacle to obsession. Staying aware of these challenges and making an active effort to maintain your rational mind can be beneficial when creating distance in a relationship.
8. Avoid Social Media Stalking
It can be all too easy to obsess over your partner’s social media accounts when trying to create distance in a relationship. Avoiding social media stalking is essential to avoid becoming obsessive and disconnected from yourself.
9. Talk to a Trusted Friend
Talking to a trusted friend can provide emotional support and help you gain a sense of perspective. It’s important to maintain healthy connections outside of the relationship, and confiding in a friend can be an excellent way to do so.
10. Reconnect with Former Self
Sometimes it’s essential to revisit your identity and priorities before the relationship started. Reflecting on your life before and after the relationship can help you regain your sense of self and make decisions that align with your priorities.
11. Use “Shit Test”
Using an evaluation tool to determine the importance of your partner’s caring can be helpful when creating distance in a relationship. It’s essential to understand your value and worth, and knowing how much your partner cares about you can help reinforce this understanding.
12. Determine Relationship Status
When creating distance in a relationship, it’s essential to consider your happiness, necessity, and emotional well-being. Determining the status of your relationship can help you make decisions that align with your priorities.
13. Don’t Let Them Control You
It’s important to maintain emotional independence and not allow your partner to control you through emotional blackmail or abuse. Regaining a sense of self-worth can be essential when creating distance in a relationship.
14. Prioritize Personal Security and Well-being
When creating distance in a relationship, it’s essential to prioritize personal security and well-being. Cultivating independence, self-esteem, and strength can be an excellent way to regain a sense of control and confidence in your life.
Conclusion
Creating distance in a relationship can be difficult, but it’s important to prioritize your emotional and physical wellbeing when necessary. Whether it’s due to a lack of respect, selfishness, neglect, or a lack of appreciation, understanding the reasons for a relationship’s difficulty and creating healthy distance can help you find happiness and fulfillment outside of it.
By approaching the situation rationally, staying busy and pursuing hobbies, talking to trusted friends, and prioritizing your personal security and well-being, you can regain a sense of control, strength, and confidence in your life. Remember, you deserve happiness, and sometimes creating distance in a relationship can be the best path to achieving it.
In conclusion, this article has explored the different reasons why someone may feel the need to pull back from a relationship, as well as practical tips and strategies to help create healthy distance. Whether it’s due to a lack of respect, selfishness, neglect, or a lack of appreciation, it’s essential to prioritize your emotional and physical wellbeing when necessary.
By understanding the reasons for a relationship’s difficulty and taking concrete steps to create distance, you can regain a sense of control, strength, and confidence in your life. Remember, respecting yourself, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your needs are essential steps towards finding happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.
