How to Make Your Neighbors Move
Have you ever had neighbors that you just couldn’t stand? Maybe they’re nosy, or they ask personal questions that are none of their business.
Perhaps they’re incredibly boring, or they have chronic constipation, and it’s all you ever hear them talk about. Whatever the reason, sometimes you just want them to pack up and move out.
Here are some strategies to make that happen.
Strategies for Making Your Neighbors Unwelcome
1. Ask Nosy Questions One way to drive your neighbors crazy is by asking them endless personal questions.
Ask them about their health, family, finances, or anything else that might make them uncomfortable. Bonus points if you ask these questions loudly and in front of other people.
2. Live in Their Yard If your neighbors have a large front yard, why not camp out there for a while?
Set up a tent, lawn chairs, and a barbecue. Play loud music late into the night, and invite all your friends over for a party.
Your neighbors will either join in the fun or start packing their bags. 3.
Install Fake Security Cameras You don’t actually need security cameras to keep an eye on your neighbors. Just install some realistic-looking fakes and point them at their property.
Your neighbors will feel like they’re constantly under surveillance, and it’ll really mess with their heads. 4.
Prank Calls If you’re feeling really brave, you could make some prank calls to your neighbors. Keep them light-hearted, but still annoying.
Call them late at night and ask if they have Prince Albert in a can. Or pretend to be a telemarketer and offer them something they don’t want or need.
Noisy Activities to Drive Them Away
1. Noisy Lawn Mower Mow your lawn at all hours of the day and night.
Use an extra-loud, gas-powered lawn mower that will wake up the entire neighborhood. 2.
Loud Music Blast your music out of open windows and doors. Play it at an obnoxiously high volume, especially when your neighbors are trying to sleep.
3. Basketball Install a basketball hoop on your garage.
Play basketball at all hours of the day and night, preferably late at night when your neighbors are trying to sleep. 4.
Revving Engines Own a motorcycle or a sports car? Rev the engine repeatedly and loudly late at night.
5. Hedge Trimmers Use hedge trimmers right against the fence, making lots of noise and disturbing your neighbors’ peace.
6. Chainsaws If you have trees on your property, use a chainsaw loudly, and make sure the noise carries over to your neighbor’s property.
7. Washing Machine Time your washing machine cycles to run at odd hours, like 3 or 4 in the morning.
8. Wind Chimes Install wind chimes that chime loudly in the wind.
Place them where the sound will carry to your neighbor’s property.
Becoming a Bad Neighbor
1. Dog Poop Let your dog poop in your neighbor’s yard.
Bonus points if you don’t pick it up. 2.
Bathing Suit Lounge around in your yard in a bathing suit, even if you don’t have a swimming pool. 3.
Toilet Paper on Their Trees Throw toilet paper on their trees so that it gets tangled in the branches. Make sure they can see it from their windows.
4. Ringing Their Doorbell and Hiding Ring their doorbell and run away before they can answer.
Keep doing this until they get the message. 5.
Taking Their Parking Space Park your car in their designated parking space. Refuse to move it, even when they ask you to.
6. Annoyances Do things that are annoying, like leaving your trash cans out all the time, or blasting music on your porch.
Escalating to Landlord, HOA, and Police Complaints
1. Landlords If your neighbors are renters, reach out to their landlords and let them know what’s going on.
Landlords have a vested interest in keeping their properties rented, and they may be willing to take action. 2.
HOA If you live in a neighborhood with a homeowners’ association (HOA), reach out to them and see what they can do. HOAs have the authority to enforce certain rules and regulations, and they may be able to intervene on your behalf.
3. Police Complaints If your neighbors are doing something illegal, don’t hesitate to call the police.
Gather evidence, like photos or videos, and file a formal complaint.
Extra Ideas for Annoying Bad Neighbors
1. Ghost Sightings Tell your neighbors that you’ve been seeing ghosts lately.
Watch as they avoid your house like the plague. 2.
Walking and Stomping Walk heavily and stomp around your house at all hours of the day and night. 3.
Telescope Install a telescope in your yard and aim it directly at your neighbor’s house. Creepy, right?
4. MOVE Sign Put a large “MOVE” sign in your front yard, where your neighbors can see it.
5. Sugar Trail Create a trail of sugar that leads from your neighbor’s yard right up to your front door.
Watch as they try to figure out what the heck is going on. 6.
Flower Bouquet Leave a bouquet of wilted flowers on their doorstep. They’ll be confused and creeped out.
7. Draining Pool Drain your swimming pool and leave it empty for several weeks.
Your neighbors will hate the sight and lack of upkeep. 8.
Creepy Messages Leave creepy messages on your neighbor’s windows, like “I’m watching you.”
9. Prank Pizza Delivery Order a pizza to your neighbor’s house and tell the delivery person to pretend to be lost.
Your neighbors will be annoyed and confused. 10.
Property Line Issues If your neighbor has something on your property or is encroaching on it, document the exact location of the issue. Offer help to remove the item on your property and when they refuse, seek legal help.
11. Ignoring Them Act like your neighbors don’t exist.
Don’t say “hi” or wave at them. It’s passive aggressive but it will eventually annoy them.
12. Pretending to be Insulted Act like your neighbor’s actions have hurt or insulted you and watch as they bend over backward to make things right.
13. Social Media Posts Complain about your neighbors on social media.
Imagine how they would feel if they saw your posts. 14.
Outdoor Singing Set up a stage in your yard and sing your heart out. Your neighbors will eventually get tired of the noise.
15. Amazon Deliveries Order tons of packages from Amazon and have them delivered to your neighbor’s house.
They’ll be annoyed and confused. 16.
Yard Work in a Swimsuit – Mow your lawn or work on other yard projects in a skimpy swimsuit. Your neighbors will be creeped out and thinking how unprofessional.
Importance of Communication
Of course, there’s always the possibility that you don’t need to resort to these extreme tactics. Sometimes it’s enough to just talk to your neighbors and try to work things out.
Here are some tips for communicating with your neighbors effectively. 1.
Communication as a First Approach The first step is to simply talk to your neighbors and express how you feel. Be non-accusatory and state what is troubling you.
2. Enlisting Family Members for Support Ask your spouse, partner or children to discuss the issues with the neighbors in a discreet manner.
In the end, your goal should be to live in a peaceful and harmonious neighborhood. But if that’s not possible, you now have some tools in your arsenal to make your neighbors move.
Whether you go the extreme route or try to talk things out, always remember to be respectful and thoughtful. Good luck!
What Not to Do
When it comes to dealing with difficult neighbors, it’s important to remember that there are certain things you should never do, no matter how frustrated or angry you may feel. It’s worth taking a moment to review the most important things you should avoid at all costs, including physical force, threats, and poisonings.
Physical Force
The first rule of dealing with difficult neighbors is to never resort to physical force. No matter how tempting it may be to confront the person directly and show them who’s boss, using physical violence is never an appropriate or acceptable solution.
Doing so could result in criminal charges and even injuries, not to mention the irreversible damage it could do to your reputation. Not only is physical violence illegal, but it’s also dangerous and can lead to short- and long-term consequences.
Even if you think you’re in the right, it’s not worth the risk of physical harm to yourself or others. Instead of physically attacking your neighbor, consider alternative and peaceful methods of conflict resolution.
Drugs or Poisonings
It should go without saying, but under no circumstances should you ever attempt to drug or poison your difficult neighbor. Whether you’re trying to make them sick or incapacitate them in some way, these are never a solution to any problem.
It’s not only highly illegal, but it’s also incredibly dangerous and could lead to severe harm or even death. The use of drugs or poisonings shows a lack of empathy and respect for your neighbor.
Even if you have a real reason to be upset with them, these methods are never justified, and they often make the situation worse. If you truly feel unsafe around your neighbor, it’s far better to involve the proper authorities to help you resolve the issue.
Threatening Messages
One of the quickest ways to escalate a conflict with your neighbor is to send them threatening messages or voicemails. Threats of violence, property damage, or lawsuits can not only make the situation worse, but they can also get you in hot water with the law.
Moreover, such a reaction is unproductive, and it shows a lack of maturity. Sending threatening messages is unacceptable and can easily backfire on you.
Instead of resorting to such tactics, it’s much more constructive to focus on finding a peaceful solution. You can still communicate your frustration, but in a respectful and non-threatening manner.
Instead of making threats, try to understand your neighbor’s perspective, and work together to find a mutually agreeable solution.
Calm Communication is Key
In conclusion, when it comes to dealing with difficult neighbors, it’s essential to remember that resorting to physical force, drugs or poisonings, and threatening messages are never the solution. Even if you’re feeling angry or frustrated, it’s crucial to find a peaceful way to communicate your concerns and work towards a resolution.
The key to dealing with difficult neighbors effectively is to maintain open lines of communication while avoiding aggression or hostility. If you’re struggling, consider consulting a third party such as a mediator or an attorney to help facilitate discussion and reach an agreement.
By focusing on finding common ground, you can turn a difficult situation into a positive outcome for everyone involved. In conclusion, it’s important to deal with difficult neighbors in a way that maintains civility and respect.
This includes using peaceful communication strategies and avoiding physical force, drugs or poisonings, and threatening messages. While it can be tempting to confront your neighbor head-on, it’s far more productive to work on finding common ground and a mutually acceptable solution.
Remember, by respecting your neighbor’s perspective and seeking constructive communication, you can turn a challenging situation into a positive outcome for everyone involved.