16 Principles for Effective Communication in Marriage: Strengthen Your Bond Today!


Communication is Key: Building a Strong and Lasting Marriage

Communication is the cornerstone of a happy and successful relationship. Without proper communication, misunderstandings and problems can lead to arguments, lack of trust, and even physical altercations.

It’s important that both partners are able to express their thoughts, feelings, and desires in a way that the other person can understand. When it comes to marriage, there are several issues that can arise that can hinder communication.

Common Communication Challenges in Marriage

  • Disagreements over money management: From spending habits to budgeting, couples often find that they have different views on how to handle finances.

  • Disagreements over housework: It’s important for both partners to feel that they are contributing equally to maintaining a clean and organized home.

  • Raising children: From discipline to education, both partners may have different ideas on how to best raise their children.

  • In-law relationships: Each partner may have different expectations of how involved their own family should be in their marriage.

Consequences of Poor Communication

  • Arguments and fights can lead to the depletion of the “love bank,” and over time, partners may feel distant from one another.

  • In some cases, communication problems can lead to physical altercations, separation, and even divorce.

Principles for Effective Communication in Marriage

Gary Collins, a renowned Christian counselor, has laid out 16 principles for effective communication that can be applied to any relationship.

16 Principles for Effective Communication

  1. Be aware of the messages you are sending: Double messages, or mixed signals, can create confusion and misunderstanding.

  2. Be aware of cross-cultural differences: Communication styles can vary greatly depending on a person’s cultural background.

  3. Respect: Treat each other with respect, even in disagreements.

  4. Listen: Try to understand each other’s perspectives.

  5. Value unique perspectives: Recognize that each partner may have their own way of looking at things.

  6. Address current issues head-on: Ignoring problems won’t make them go away.

  7. Fair fighting: Arguments can be healthy if done in a constructive way that avoids hurtful words and actions.

  8. Clear communication: Be able to express yourself in a way that the other person can understand.

  9. Share honest feelings: Even if they may be difficult to hear.

  10. Sensitivity: Be aware of each other’s feelings and needs.

  11. Take responsibility: Avoid excuses and take responsibility for your actions.

  12. Active listening: Be engaged and present when listening to one another.

  13. Conscious speech: Choose your words carefully and avoid hurtful or disrespectful language.

  14. Positive statements and humor: Keep communication positive.

  15. Give positive words and acts of kindness: Show love and appreciation for one another.

  16. Get an understanding: Take the time to truly understand one another.

Expressing Love: Beyond Words

Love and communication go hand in hand in any relationship, and marriage is no exception. Love is not just a feeling, it is an action word that requires effort and intentionality.

Communicating Love through Words and Actions

One of the most important components of a healthy and happy marriage is communicating love through words and actions.

Non-Verbal Communication

Holding hands, hugging, and kisses are just a few examples of how partners can communicate love without saying a word.

Physical affection releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of love and bonding, and contributes to a sense of closeness between partners.

Communication Exercises

Communication exercises can help deepen love and connection between partners.

Three and Three

Partners take turns sharing three positive things they appreciate about the other person, and three things they would like the other person to do more often.

The Importance of Active Listening

Non-verbal communication is not just physical affection, it is also important to be present in the moment when the other person is talking, and to show that you are actively listening.

Empathy and Compassion

Empathy and compassion are also important components of effective communication, and they can help build a strong foundation for a long-lasting, healthy, and happy marriage.


Love and effective communication are essential components of a healthy and happy marriage.

When couples communicate effectively and show empathy and compassion for one another, they can build a foundation for a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage.

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