Signs a Married Man is Using You
Are you starting to feel like the man you’re seeing might be using you? Or maybe you suspect that your married lover is unhappy in his marriage?
It’s important to recognize the signs and understand what they mean. The truth is, being with a married man can be emotionally exhausting and downright painful.
Not only are you dealing with the guilt and shame of being the “other woman,” but you also have to navigate a complicated web of lies, deceit, and manipulation. If you’re ready to take back control and stop being a pawn in someone else’s game, read on.
1. He wants you to be completely faithful
If your married lover is demanding that you remain loyal to him, but he doesn’t plan on leaving his wife anytime soon, it’s a major red flag.
This shows that he’s not committed to you and only cares about his own needs and desires. Don’t let him manipulate you into being some kind of backup plan.
2. But, he doesn’t leave his wife
If he’s been telling you for months that he’s going to leave his wife, but there’s been no sign of action, it’s likely he never will.
This is especially true if he keeps making excuses or blaming external factors for not being able to leave. Don’t hold onto false hope or waste any more of your time waiting for someone who’s never going to show up.
3. He is not there for you
If the man you’re dating is only interested in getting what he wants from you, without any concern for your emotional well-being or needs, then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.
A healthy and mature relationship is built on mutual support and comfort, not just one-sided effort.
4. No meaningful conversations
If every conversation you have with him is superficial and never delves deep into emotional territory, it’s a sign that he’s keeping you at arm’s length. A man who is truly invested in you will want to connect on a deeper level and share his thoughts and feelings with you.
5. He avoids the divorce talk
If he avoids any conversation about getting a divorce, it’s a clear signal that he’s not interested in leaving his wife.
Don’t let him make you feel responsible for his unhappy marriage or put the burden on you to fix the situation.
6. He accuses you of seducing him
If your married lover starts putting the blame on you for seducing him into the affair, it’s a classic tactic to avoid taking any responsibility for his actions. Don’t let him manipulate you into feeling guilty or ashamed.
7. His marriage always comes first
If he’s constantly putting his wife’s needs and wants before yours, it’s a major red flag.
A healthy relationship involves equal effort and compromise from both parties, not a one-way street where someone always wins.
8. Lies and deceit
If he’s lied to you about anything, it’s not a good sign. Honesty and transparency are critical components of any healthy relationship.
Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking you’re crazy or imagining things.
9. Depriving you of happiness
If he’s not making an effort to fulfill your needs and desires, it’s time to move on. Life is too short to settle for someone who doesn’t value your happiness and well-being.
10. You’re not his only extramarital affair
If you suspect that you’re not the only woman in his life, it’s time to have an honest conversation or walk away altogether.
It’s not worth the emotional turmoil and heartache of being in a relationship with a man who clearly can’t commit to anyone.
11. You’re just convenient
If he only contacts you when it’s convenient for him or when he needs something, it’s a clear sign that he’s only interested in using you for his own purposes. Don’t settle for being someone’s object of convenience.
12. He hides you from the rest of the world
If he’s keeping you a secret from his friends and family, it’s a clear signal that he’s not serious about the relationship.
Don’t be content with being someone’s dirty little secret.
13. A control freak
If he’s controlling and possessive, it’s a major red flag. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and trust.
Don’t let him manipulate or intimidate you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
14. He manipulates you into staying
If he’s manipulating you emotionally or using emotional blackmail to keep you in the relationship, it’s time to put a stop to it. You deserve someone who respects you and doesn’t resort to such extreme behavior.
15. Everything happens under his rules
If he’s always in control and calling the shots, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever feel like an equal in the relationship.
Don’t settle for being a mere pawn in someone else’s game.
16. You’re his dumping site
If he’s always venting his emotional baggage onto you without ever considering your feelings or needs, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. You deserve someone who’s willing to listen and be there for you in the same way you’re there for them.
How to Know if a Married Man is Unhappy in His Marriage
1. Avoiding his wife
If he’s actively avoiding spending time with his wife or is making excuses to get away from her, it’s a clear sign that there’s trouble in paradise.
However, don’t assume that this means he’s necessarily interested in leaving her for you.
2. Complaining about his wife
If he’s constantly complaining about his wife to you, it’s a sign that something is amiss in their relationship. However, be aware that he may be exaggerating the truth or even outright lying to get you on his side.
3. False excuses
If he’s always coming up with excuses or cover-ups for why he can’t spend time with you or why he’s acting a certain way, it’s a sign that he’s not being completely honest with you.
Don’t let him string you along with false promises or misleading statements.
In conclusion, being with a married man can be both thrilling and exhausting, but it’s important to recognize when you’re being used or when the relationship is unhealthy.
Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice or someone’s secret. You are worth so much more than that.
By recognizing the signs and taking action, you can move on and find the healthy and fulfilling relationship you deserve. So, you’ve found yourself in a situation where you’re emotionally involved with a married man but would like to bow out gracefully.
Maybe you’ve decided that being with a married man just isn’t for you or perhaps he’s been stringing you along for too long. Whatever the reason, if you want to make a married man miss you, here are a few tips to help you create distance and hopefully, gain his respect.
Stop Being So Available
One of the main reasons why men don’t value things as much as they should is because they’re readily available. People often take for granted things that come easy to them.
This applies to men and relationships too. If you make yourself too available to him, answering his every call and text and dropping everything at a moment’s notice to be with him, then he’ll begin to take you for granted.
So, the best thing to do is to slow it down and create some space. Start scheduling your own plans and activities and stick to them.
Don’t always prioritize his needs over yours. Give him a chance to miss you and begin to appreciate all that you bring to his life.
Moreover, an independent woman who has her own life and priorities is attractive to any man. Therefore, you need to start thinking about ways to strengthen your own life and have a fulfilling time outside of this relationship.
Don’t forget that a big part of being attractive is feeling good about yourself.
Go No-Contact
If you’re serious about creating distance between yourself and your married lover, then going no-contact for a while is a must. This may be challenging, especially if you’ve become emotionally invested in him, but it’s a vital step in order to shift focus back to yourself and regain your power.
Stop responding to his calls, texts, and messages on social media. Avoid bumping into him by changing your usual routine and the places you normally go.
If he contacts you during this time, simply be polite but short. Don’t engage him in any conversation beyond what’s necessary.
Remember, taking time off from each other isn’t just good for you, it’s also good for him. It helps him to remember what he’s missing again.
If he’s used to having you around all the time, he’ll feel your absence even more in your silence.
Make Him Worry About Losing You
One of the most effective ways to make a married man miss you is to make him worry about losing you. Now, this doesn’t mean playing games, being manipulative, or using emotional blackmail on him.
You don’t have to resort to these tactics to get his attention. Employing these tactics would be counterproductive and may even earn you a label of being manipulative.
Instead, focus on yourself and your own goals. This will make him see you in a new light.
When he sees you finding success, working towards your passions, and standing firmly in your principles, it will be a shock to his system. Also, don’t be afraid to tell him nicely but firmly that you are looking for a commitment, and if he’s not ready to give you that, then you don’t see a future for the two of you.
Let him know your worth and that you won’t settle for anything less. By doing this, he’ll begin to think about what he’s missing out on and whether he should do something about it before it’s too late.
He may begin to appreciate you and consider making changes in his life. In conclusion, making a married man miss you is not about playing psychological games.
It’s about regaining your identity and sense of purpose. Start investing time in yourself and your life, create some distance, and make him realize what he’s missing.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who is fully committed to you and who values you for who you are.
In conclusion, recognizing the signs of a married man using you, knowing when he’s unhappy in his marriage, and learning how to make him miss you are tough but necessary steps to take for your emotional wellbeing.
Being in a relationship with a married man is draining and not worth the emotional turmoil it causes. By putting yourself first, gaining independence, creating distance, and finding fulfillment outside of the relationship, you will become more attractive, gain power, and ultimately, find someone who values, respects, and is committed to you.
Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice or dirty little secret. You are worth so much more than that.
