The Mating Grounds

20 Reasons Behind Sexless Marriage and How to Deal with It

Understanding Sexless Marriage: What It Is, Its Significance, and Effects

Do you sometimes feel like something is missing in your relationship? Do you miss the feeling of physical intimacy and emotional connection that you once had with your partner?

If you answered yes to these questions, then you might be experiencing what is known as a sexless marriage. Let’s explore this topic together.

What is a sexless marriage? A sexless partnership is a relationship where physical intimacy is rare or non-existent.

Depending on the source, a sexless marriage can be defined as having sex less than 10 times a year or less than once a month. However, it’s important to note that every relationship is different, and what constitutes a sexless partnership for one couple may be perfectly satisfactory for another.

The significance of a sexless marriage

A sexless partnership can have significant impacts on your overall well-being and your relationship with your partner. Without physical intimacy, you may feel isolated and disconnected from your spouse.

It could create conflicts and reduce the level of emotional intimacy shared between the two of you.

The effects of a sexless marriage

Negativity, loneliness, frustration, avoidance, and less involvement are some of the common impacts of a sexless partnership. When sex is missing in your relationship, you may start to feel unwanted, rejected, or neglected by your partner.

This could lead to a lower level of trust, respect, and commitment to the relationship. Is a sexless marriage a problem?

According to Robert Epstein, who is a psychologist and author of “The Truth About Love,” sexless marriages make up around 15-20% of romantic relationships. This percentage may not seem like much, but it’s still a significant proportion that affects millions of people.

The impact of a sexless marriage on relationships

When physical intimacy is missing in a relationship, it can create feelings of isolation and emotional disconnection between the partners. Both parties may start to feel like they are not desirable or valued by each other.

This can cause conflicts and resentment, which can lead to further distance in the relationship.

The Importance of Communication

Honesty, open communication, and sensitive conversations are essential in any relationship. If you’re in a sexless marriage, it’s important to talk to your partner about it.

You need to express your feelings and needs in a respectful and non-judgmental way. Here are some tips for talking to your partner about sex:

– Choose the right time and place: It’s important to have this conversation in a private and comfortable setting where you both feel safe and relaxed.

– Be positive and constructive: Instead of blaming your partner or complaining, focus on what you want and need in the relationship. – Listen actively: It’s essential to listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective.

Avoid interrupting or dismissing their feelings. – Be patient: Remember that change takes time and effort.

Don’t expect everything to change overnight. In conclusion, a sexless marriage can be a significant problem that affects the well-being and happiness of both partners.

However, it’s not an unsolvable issue. By having open and honest communication with your partner and working together to overcome the challenges, you can rekindle the physical and emotional connection that you once had.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for others may not work for you. So, be patient and persistent in your efforts to improve your relationship.

Reasons Behind Sexless Marriage

Sex is a crucial part of a romantic relationship. However, there are instances when a couple struggles with physical intimacy.

If you’re dealing with a sexless marriage, it’s essential to understand the reasons behind it. Here are some common reasons why couples may experience a lack of physical intimacy in their relationships.

Mismatched Sex Drives

Couples may experience differences in their sex drive, which can lead to less frequent physical intimacy. One partner may have a higher libido than the other, resulting in emotional frustration and insecurity.


Childbirth can create physical and emotional stresses that can impact a person’s desire for sex. Hormonal changes, post-partum stress, and fatigue are some of the common issues that can arise.


For women going through menopause, physical intimacy may become uncomfortable due to dryness and other physical changes. Hormonal changes during this period can also reduce their sex drive and affection towards their partner.

Communication Problems

Sometimes couples fail to communicate their sexual desires properly, which can create negative experiences and cause emotional trauma. Negative experiences such as sexual assault can make it challenging for a person to engage in physical intimacy with their partner.

Medical Conditions

Medical conditions such as impotence can significantly affect a person’s ability to engage in physical intimacy. Medication side effects, stress, and other physical health issues can also affect a person’s sex drive.


Depression can cause a loss of interest in sex, hopelessness, and other mental health issues, all of which can reduce the desire for physical intimacy.

Lack of Foreplay

One of the most common reasons for a lack of physical intimacy in a relationship is a lack of foreplay. Without foreplay, partners may not feel arousing or pleasurable, leading to a decrease in sexual desire.

Irrational Sexual Behaviors

Sometimes, a partner in a relationship may engage in sexual behaviors that their partner cannot understand or accept. This can lead to irritation, frustration, or disappointment.

Bad Hygiene

Poor hygiene can affect sexual health, leading to infections and a reluctance to engage in physical intimacy.

Body Changes

Body changes such as weight gain can lead to feelings of insecurity or rejection, which can significantly affect the level of physical intimacy in a relationship.

Shift in Mental State

Stress, distraction, and avoidance can contribute to a lack of physical intimacy in a relationship. These factors can make it more challenging to focus on the physical aspect of a relationship, leading to less physical intimacy.

Unresolved Conflicts

Arguments and lingering feelings of hostility can create a less than ideal environment for physical intimacy, leading to a lack of desire to engage in sexual activity.

Wrong Reasons to Live Together

Couples who compromise in a relationship may not be happy living together, leading to a lack of physical intimacy. Unhappy parents who stay together for the sake of their children can also experience a lack of physical intimacy.

Not Caring Enough

When partners stop caring for each other, it’s natural to lose interest in physical intimacy. Failing to recognize and respond to your partner’s needs can create mutual hostility and eventually lead to a divorce.

Dealing with Sexless Marriage

Sexless marriages can be challenging to overcome, but with effort and dedication, it is possible to reconnect physically and emotionally with your partner. Here are some tips for dealing with sexless marriages:

Importance of Honesty

Open communication and dialogue are essential when dealing with a sexless marriage. It’s vital to discuss your physical and emotional needs with your partner, and to listen to their needs as well.

Discussing the issue can help you both determine the root cause and start taking steps to fix the problem.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for your actions and caring for your partner can go a long way in improving your sex life. Stress management, compromise, and self-care can help you take responsibility and work towards a more fulfilling physical intimacy.

Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, professional help may be necessary to overcome the challenges of a sexless marriage. Therapy can help couples work through emotional traumas, while a sexologist can offer advice and techniques to improve physical intimacy.

Medical attention may also be necessary for health-related issues.

Saving the Marriage

For couples who want to save their relationship, it’s essential to work together in a mutual effort. Dialogue, honest communication, and specific goals such as improving your sex life can help strengthen the relationship and lead to more physical intimacy.

In conclusion, a sexless marriage can take a toll on an individual’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being. The many reasons leading to a lack of physical intimacy, such as mismatched sex drives, childbirth, communication problems, etc., highlight the need for open communication and honesty between partners.

While dealing with a sexless marriage can be challenging, it’s essential to take responsibility, seek professional help, and work together to save the relationship. Recognizing and addressing the root cause of the issue, as well as remaining committed to the relationship, can improve both physical and emotional intimacy and save a relationship from coming to an end.

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