The Mating Grounds

23 Common Relationship Turn-Offs You Need to Avoid

Relationships can be challenging, and what turns one person on may be a major turn-off for another. While every relationship is unique, there are some behaviors that most people find unappealing.

In this article, we’ll explore some common turn-offs in relationships and how to avoid them.

Behavior Expectations

Being there for each other is a crucial component of any successful relationship, but there is a fine line between being supportive and being clingy. If you find yourself needing to ask permission for everything or never feeling comfortable when you’re apart, it may be time to evaluate your behavior expectations.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable taking some time to themselves and should respect each other’s need for space.

Inability to Apologize

Apologizing takes humility and bravery. While it can be difficult to say sorry, it’s an essential part of building trust and maintaining healthy relationships.

If you struggle with admitting your mistakes or find yourself blaming others instead of reflecting on your own behavior, it’s time to work on your ability to apologize. Remember, saying sorry doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.

Delusional Self-Perception

It’s important to be confident, but there is a big difference between healthy self-esteem and delusional self-perception. If you constantly present yourself as someone you’re not or have a disconnect from reality about your abilities and accomplishments, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate your self-perception.

Healthy relationships are built on honesty and authenticity, so it’s vital to be honest with yourself first.


We all know people who only talk about themselves and don’t seem interested in anything or anyone else. Self-absorption can be a major turn-off in relationships, and it’s essential to find a balance between sharing about yourself and showing interest in your partner’s life.

Take the time to ask your partner about their day and show a genuine interest in their interests and goals.

Needy Behavior

Everyone needs attention and affection, but constantly demanding it from your partner can become exhausting. If you find yourself expecting your partner to be available to you 24/7 or whining when they’re not, it’s time to work on your needy behavior.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable expressing their needs and not feel pressured to fulfill every request immediately.

False Promises

Making promises that you can’t keep is a surefire way to damage trust in a relationship. If you struggle with following through on your commitments or find yourself making empty promises, it’s time to evaluate your communication skills.

Remember, it’s always better to under-promise and over-deliver than the other way around.

Betrayal of Trust

Sharing intimate details about your partner or breaching confidentiality can cause irreparable damage to a relationship. Honesty and transparency are essential components of healthy relationships, so it’s vital to respect your partner’s privacy and trust.

Prejudice & Intolerance

Judging someone based on their skin color, gender, religion, or sexual orientation is not only hurtful, but it’s also incredibly narrow-minded and intolerant. In a healthy relationship, both partners should celebrate each other’s diversity and differences.


Harshly judging others without self-reflection comes across as hypocritical and can be a big turn-off for your partner. We all make mistakes and have flaws, so it’s important to strive for empathy and understanding in all aspects of your life.

Invalidation of Emotions

Dismissing your partner’s emotions, either by putting them down or minimizing their feelings, is a surefire way to create distance between you. It’s vital to listen actively and respond with empathy and understanding to your partner’s emotions, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.

Communication Skills

Communication is key to any healthy relationship, but not all communication is created equal. Here are some behaviors to avoid:

Immature Communication

Yelling or walking away during arguments is not an effective way to resolve conflicts. Try to approach communication with an open mind and a willingness to listen to your partner’s perspective.

Arrogant Attitude

No one likes a know-it-all. Remember, nobody has all the answers, and everyone has something to learn from others.

Approach conversations with an open mind and a willingness to hear different viewpoints.

Lack of Teamwork

Relationships require teamwork, and it’s essential to support and defend your partner. Remember, you’re on the same team.

Infidelity & Dishonesty

Cheating and lying are major breaches of trust and can cause irreparable damage to a relationship. It’s always better to be transparent and honest, even when it’s difficult.

Lack of Effort

Relationships require effort, and it’s essential to contribute and plan equally. One-sided planning can make your partner feel undervalued and unappreciated.

Inability to Be Silent

Constant talking can make it difficult to connect deeply with your partner. Finding quiet moments to be present with each other can be an essential part of building intimacy.


Constant complaints and a negative attitude can bring down the mood in any relationship. Try to find ways to focus on the positive and celebrate the good things in your relationship.

Lack of Opinion

Having no clear thoughts or ideas about the world can come across as uninterested or disengaged. Remember, everyone has something unique and valuable to contribute to conversations.

Obsession with Exes

Discussing past relationships excessively can make your partner feel insecure and uncomfortable. Remember, your partner chose you for who you are, not who you were with in the past.

Purposeful Fighting

Creating arguments out of boredom is not an effective way to bring excitement to your relationship. Try to focus on building positive experiences instead.

Harsh Criticism

Name-calling and belittling comments are hurtful and damaging. Remember to approach conversations with empathy and kindness.


Not allowing your partner alone time can be suffocating. Remember, it’s important to have your own interests and hobbies outside of your relationship.

Lack of Ambition

Having no goals or dreams for the future can come across as uninteresting or unmotivated. Remember to find inspiration and excitement in your own unique passions and aspirations.

Inability to Laugh

Taking things too seriously and not having a sense of humor can be a major turn-off. Remember, laughter can be an essential part of building intimacy and connection.

Lack of Manners

Poor hygiene and rude behavior can make your partner feel unvalued and unrespected. Remember, small acts of kindness and politeness can go a long way in your relationship.

Money Obsession

Showing off or being tight with money can communicate a lack of trust and generosity. Strive to approach money conversations with open-mindedness and understanding.


Lack of uniqueness or special qualities can make it difficult to connect with your partner. Remember, everyone has something unique and valuable to offer in a relationship.

Rudeness to Service Staff

Mistreatment of service workers is not only rude but can be indicative of a larger pattern of unhealthy behavior. Remember to treat everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of their status or position.


Making fun of others and intentionally being cruel is never acceptable behavior. Remember to approach all interactions with kindness and empathy.

Jealousy Games

Attempting to make your partner jealous is not an effective way to build intimacy or trust. Instead, focus on building positive experiences and open communication with your partner.


Avoiding these common turn-offs in relationships can go a long way in building healthy, happy, and fulfilling partnerships. Remember, communication, empathy, and kindness are essential components of any successful relationship.

Approach conversations with an open mind and a willingness to learn, and you may find your relationship growing stronger every day. In conclusion, relationships can be challenging, but by avoiding common turn-offs like needy behavior, false promises, and lack of effort, you can create a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

Good communication skills, including active listening, empathy, and kindness, are essential to maintaining a strong relationship. By balancing support and independence, respecting boundaries, and celebrating each other’s uniqueness, you and your partner can continue to build a strong foundation of trust, love, and connection.

Remember, relationships take work, but with the right mindset and approach, they can be one of life’s greatest joys.

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