The Mating Grounds

5 Communication Problems That Can Destroy Your Marriage (And How to Fix Them)

How to Maintain Communication in Your Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful thing, but just like anything else in life, it takes work to maintain. One of the most important factors in a successful marriage is the ability to communicate effectively.

Communication is at the heart of every relationship, and it is how we express our emotions, fears, desires, and needs. When communication breaks down in a marriage, it can lead to a host of problems that may ultimately lead to divorce.

In this article, we will look at why communication is essential in marriage, the effects of lack of communication, the most common communication problems, and how to resolve them.

The Importance of Communication in Marriage

Communication is the foundation on which a healthy marriage is built. When couples prioritize communication, they are more likely to have a strong, long-lasting, and fulfilling relationship.

Communication helps to foster emotional intimacy, allows couples to resolve conflicts, and promotes trust and understanding. However, when couples fail to communicate effectively, it can lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, and mistrust.

Without communication, couples may grow apart emotionally, leading to a breakdown in the relationship.

Effects of Lack of Communication

The effects of lack of communication can be both immediate and long-lasting. Some of the immediate effects include increased stress, anxiety, and emotional distance between partners.

Couples who do not communicate effectively are more likely to engage in negative communication patterns, such as passive-aggressive behavior, screaming, histrionic behavior, chronic crying, withholding or exploding, conflicting talk, shunning, and anxiety-ridden communication. Over time, the lack of communication leads to relationship problems, including emotional disconnection, resentment, and a breakdown in trust.

These issues can ultimately lead to divorce or a separation of the relationship.

Common Communication Problems

Couples might not be able to communicate effectively for different reasons. Some of the most common communication problems include passive-aggressive behavior, screaming, histrionic behavior, chronic crying, withholding or exploding, conflicting talk, shunning, and anxiety-ridden communication.

Passive-aggressive behavior is when a person expresses their anger or dissatisfaction indirectly. This type of behavior can damage communication between partners, as it creates a hostile and often confusing environment.

Screaming, histrionic behavior, and chronic crying are all forms of negative communication that can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Withholding or exploding involves a person withholding their thoughts or feelings until they reach a breaking point and then exploding in an angry outburst.

Conflicting talk is when partners talk in circles, without making any real progress towards resolving their problems. Shunning refers to a person who refuses to communicate or avoids their partner altogether, often leading to a complete breakdown in communication.

Anxiety-ridden communication is when a person approaches a conversation with their partner with intense anxiety, often leading to avoidant behavior or emotional disconnection.

How to Resolve Communication Problems in Marriage

Resolving communication problems in marriage requires time, effort, and patience. The following tips can help:


Set Aside Time for Communication: It’s essential to set aside time for communication each day. This time should be non-negotiable and dedicated to having a meaningful conversation with your partner.

Taking this step shows that you value communication, which is one of the building blocks of a successful marriage. 2.

Avoid Accusatory Language: When communicating with your partner, avoid using accusatory language. Phrases such as “you always” or “you never” can quickly lead to defensiveness, which can be counterproductive.

Instead, use “I” statements to express how you feel. 3.

Don’t Over-Generalize: Avoid over-generalizing when talking with your partner. Don’t assume that your partner always behaves in a certain way or believes a specific thing.

Allow room for nuance and individuality. 4.

Seek Counseling: When communication problems persist, it might be time to seek counseling. A trained therapist can help you and your partner learn healthy communication habits and provide guidance on resolving conflicts.


Communication is a vital part of any marriage, and it takes effort and time to maintain healthy communication patterns. When communication problems arise, it is important to address them promptly and take steps to resolve them.

By doing so, you can foster a strong and healthy marriage that is built on mutual trust, understanding, and respect.

Relationship Communication Problems and the

Importance of Proactive Communication in Marriage

Communication is a significant aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship. However, communication problems are inevitable in any relationship, and it’s crucial to know how to handle them.

These problems could arise from passive-aggressive communication, screaming communication, histrionic communication, chronic crying communication, withholding or exploding communication, conflicted communication, shunning communication, and anxiety-ridden communication. In this article, we will discuss how each of these communication problems affects relationships and the importance of proactive communication in marriage.

Effects of Passive-Aggressive Communication

Passive-aggressive communication is a type of communication where people behave indirectly and use passive retaliation. It often leads to a hostile and confusing environment where both parties can feel resentful and unsupported.

It creates a toxic atmosphere in the relationship, and instead of addressing the issue, people will use underhanded tactics to convey their feelings. This kind of communication not only damages the couple’s bonding, but it also makes it hard to solve issues, creates frustration, and may lead to a break-up.

Effects of Screaming Communication

Screaming communication breeds aggression, offensiveness, and emotional abuse. People often use yelling to intimidate and bully their partners into silence or submission.

This communication style may also trigger a defensive reaction from the other party, resulting in an argument that leads nowhere. The yelling partner may regret their actions afterward, but this never excuses the harmful effects of their loud, angry outbursts.

Effects of Histrionic Communication

Histrionic communication refers to dramatic expressions that lack content. People who use this communication style mainly want to gain attention, draw others into drama, and play the victim.

These people often find themselves at the center of every conversation, commanding attention at all times. While it makes communication more entertaining, it gradually erodes the meaningful communication needed for a strong and healthy relationship.

Effects of Chronic Crying Communication

Chronic crying communication involves crying excessively to make the other person feel guilty. It’s a form of victim-playing and emotional manipulation that often leaves both partners feeling frustrated and disconnected.

The crying partner may feel temporarily relieved, but it causes the other person to withdraw, leaving the issue unresolved. Similar to passive-aggressive communication, crying communication only pushes people further apart.

Effects of Withholding/Exploding Communication

Withholding communication involves a person holding back their thoughts or feelings until they explode in an angry outburst. The withholding partner stays quiet to avoid conflict, thinking that they are keeping the peace.

However, anger and frustration grow within them until the accumulated emotions explode uncontrolledly. This kind of communication not only fails to resolve issues but also damages the partner’s trust and emotional bond.

Effects of Conflicted Communication

Conflicted communication involves talking in circles, without making any progress towards resolving problems. This kind of conversation often fails to convey one’s thoughts and ideas accurately, leading to confusion, frustration, and misunderstandings.

People who use this communication style are often unable to express themselves effectively, causing their partners to withdraw and further complicate the issue.

Effects of Shunning Communication

Shunning communication is when one partner refuses to communicate, avoids their partner altogether, or emotionally distances themselves, leading to a total breakdown in communication. This communication style is toxic, as it creates a one-sided relationship that lacks the necessary elements for a healthy connection.

The shunning partner may see it as a way to punish their partner, but it only creates an even worse situation.

Effects of Anxiety-Ridden Communication

Anxiety-ridden communication is when a person approaches a conversation with their partner with intense anxiety. This type of communication leads to avoidant behavior or emotional disconnection, making it hard to have any critical discussions.

People who have anxiety suffer not from the communication itself, but the fear of what could go wrong. It’s important to identify this fear and find ways to manage anxiety to enable constructive conversations.

Importance of Proactive Communication in Marriage

Marriage is a journey that presents challenges along the way. However, the key to a successful marriage is quality communication.

Proactive communication involves taking the initiative to communicate necessary issues, thoughts, and feelings. By having open and honest conversations, couples prevent issues from fester, avoid building resentment, and promote healthy bonding and trust.

Being proactive with communication also ensures that both partners’ needs are met and facilitates mutual understanding, allowing them to work together towards a common goal.

The Case for Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage

Divorce is a prevalent occurrence resulting from unhappy marriages. However, It’s important to work on relationships to prevent divorce instead of allowing it to happen.

Divorce is traumatic, and it affects both partners and children. Divorce-proofing a marriage involves focusing on maintaining a resilient and strong bond through communication.

Studies show that communication problems contribute significantly to divorce. A lack of communication leads to a breakdown in intimacy and trust, which in turn, can end the relationship.

Divorce-proofing a marriage means avoiding this fate and ensuring that communication is a priority in the relationship.

Communication as a Solution

Communication may seem like an insignificant detail to many, but it’s the root of a successful marriage. Effective communication is the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy one.

By making communication a priority in your marriage, couples can prevent misunderstandings, work towards conflict resolution, and build mutual trust and respect. It also allows couples the opportunity to create shared goals, stay connected as they journey together through life, and ultimately build the foundation of creating a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Statistics on Divorce Rates

The U.S. divorce rate is at a staggering 39%, with communication problems cited as one of the leading reasons for divorce. Couples can prevent divorce by prioritizing communication and seeking out help when necessary.

Seeking the help of a counselor can provide valuable insights on how to communicate effectively and strengthen the marriage bond. In conclusion, effective communication is essential in maintaining a successful and healthy relationship.

The different communication styles discussed all have negative effects on a relationship, and proactive communication is crucial in dealing with them. Divorce-proofing a marriage is possible by making communication a priority, and by seeking help when necessary.

Couples who prioritize communication not only prevent divorce but also build a strong foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual respect in their relationship. In conclusion, communication is an essential component of building and maintaining healthy relationships.

We learned that different communication styles, such as passive-aggressive, screaming, and histrionic, all have negative effects on relationships. Chronic crying, withholding or exploding, conflicted, shunning, and anxiety-ridden communication patterns also contribute to communication problems in relationships.

However, the importance of proactive communication in marriage cannot be overemphasized. Proactive communication means regularly taking the time to communicate effectively and openly, which has a positive impact on a couple’s relationship.

Addressing communication problems head-on and seeking professional help when necessary can lead to lasting and fulfilling relationships. By prioritizing communication, couples can build mutual trust and respect with shared goals, leading ultimately to a lifetime of love and happiness.

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