The Mating Grounds

5 Tips for a Lasting Marriage: Maintaining Oneness with Your Spouse

Maintaining Oneness in Marriage

Marriage is an incredible journey of love, self-discovery, and growth. It’s a beautiful union that binds two souls together, bringing them into a deep connection of intimacy and commitment.

But as wonderful as this journey is, it’s not always easy. It requires effort, patience, and a willingness to grow and change together.

In this article, we’ll discuss some practical ways to maintain oneness in marriage. We’ll explore how investing in your spouse, laying down the need to be right, letting go of the past, not forgetting your own needs, and setting goals together can help you build a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

Invest in Your Spouse

One of the most important aspects of marriage is quality time. Spending time together allows you to connect with your spouse on a deeper level and meet their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.

Ask yourself, “How can I invest in my spouse today?” Maybe it’s as simple as sitting down together for a cup of coffee or going for a walk after dinner. Find out what your spouse needs and make an effort to fulfill those needs on a regular basis.

Lay Down the Need to Be Right

One of the biggest barriers to maintaining oneness in marriage is the need to be right. Instead of focusing on winning arguments, try to understand your spouse’s perspective.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own righteousness that we forget to see things from another’s point of view. Surrendering the need to be right can go a long way in building a stronger marriage.

Let Go of the Past

Past hurt and resentment can be a heavy burden to carry in a marriage. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings and work through them, but it’s equally important to let them go.

Don’t let the mistakes of the past dictate your present and future. Practice forgiveness and move forward, living in the present moment.

Not Forgetting Your Own Needs

Maintaining oneness in marriage doesn’t mean sacrificing your individuality. It’s important to have interests and hobbies outside of your marriage that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Take the time to explore your own interests and practice self-awareness. Balance is key, and taking care of your own needs can actually benefit your marriage in the long run.

Setting Goals Together

Finally, setting goals together can help you maintain oneness in your marriage. It’s important to take time to assess your journey together and plan for the future.

What dreams do you have as a couple? What steps can you take to achieve those dreams?

By working together towards a shared vision, you can build a stronger and more fulfilling marriage. Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10:9

In Genesis 2:24, God’s original design for marriage is described: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This verse emphasizes the deep connection and commitment that marriage entails.

In Mark 10:9, Jesus states, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” This verse reminds us that God’s intention for marriage is not to be easily broken apart. It’s important to remember these verses when faced with challenges in marriage.

God intended for marriage to be a beautiful and lasting union, but the pressures of life can cause deterioration and competing demands. By focusing on the principles of oneness and commitment, we can build marriages that are strong and enduring.

In conclusion, maintaining oneness in marriage takes effort and intentionality. By investing in your spouse, laying down the need to be right, letting go of the past, not forgetting your own needs, and setting goals together, you can build a marriage that is fulfilling and lasting.

Remember, God’s original design for marriage was to be a deep and committed union of love. May we all strive towards that beautiful vision in our own marriages.

Maintaining a healthy and lasting marriage takes more than just saying, “I do.” It requires continued effort and investment in your spouse. From navigating competing priorities to laying down your need to be right, the following are tips to investing in your spouse and building a stronger marriage.

Investing in Your Spouse

Priority List

In a world filled with competing priorities, it’s essential to have a priority list that includes your spouse. This means valuing them above other commitments and making sure they know they are a top priority in your life.

Caring for your spouse should be a daily habit, and it doesn’t have to be costly or extravagant. Simple gestures such as preparing their favorite meal or giving them a hug after a long day at work can go a long way.

Emotional Needs

Emotional needs are an important aspect of marriage. It’s important to pay attention to your spouse’s emotional wellbeing and provide the support and empathy they need.

This involves active listening and giving them your full attention, especially during times of stress or conflict. It’s also crucial to validate their feelings and let them know that their emotions matter.

Physical Needs

Physical affection is an essential component of marital oneness. Showing affection can help you and your spouse feel more connected and fulfilled in your relationship.

This includes holding hands, cuddling, and intimate touch. It’s important to remember that physical touch can be powerful, and a simple hug can sometimes convey more than words.

Spiritual Needs

Shared spiritual beliefs can help strengthen a couple’s bond. Worshiping together, praying together, and sharing your faith can provide a sense of interconnectedness and support in your marriage.

Even if you have different beliefs, taking an interest in your spouse’s spiritual life and being open to learning more about their faith can deepen your connection.

Laying Down Your Need to Be Right

Perspective Taking

One of the biggest challenges in marriage is learning to see things from your spouse’s perspective. When disagreements arise, it’s easy to become entrenched in your own way of thinking.

However, taking the time to understand your spouse’s point of view can help build empathy and reduce conflicts. Active communication, empathy, and validation are powerful tools for navigating disagreements.

Honor One Another

Mutual respect is essential to building a strong and healthy marriage. This involves honoring each other’s feelings, opinions, and needs.

Respecting your spouse means treating them with kindness, humility, and love. It also means practicing servant leadership and putting their needs above your own.

Devotion to Love

Compassion, forgiveness, and kindness are essential qualities in any marriage. Devotion to love means striving to be patient, understanding, and empathetic towards your spouse.

It also means practicing forgiveness when mistakes are made and extending grace and mercy to one another. In conclusion, investing in your spouse takes intentionality and effort.

From prioritizing your spouse to laying down your need to be right, these tips can help build a strong and healthy marriage. Remember that your spouse is a gift, and nurturing your relationship requires ongoing care and attention.

By prioritizing emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, and practicing compassion and forgiveness, you can foster a deeper and more fulfilling connection in your marriage. Letting go of the past can be one of the most challenging aspects of maintaining a fulfilling marriage.

Holding onto past hurts, grudges, and pain can weigh us down and prevent us from experiencing true intimacy and connection with our spouse. In this article, we’ll explore some practical ways to let go of the past and build a healthier, stronger relationship.


Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the healing process. It involves releasing the person who has hurt us from the negative thoughts and emotions that we associate with them.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we forget what happened or condone the behavior, but instead, it means that we choose to acknowledge the pain and then let it go.

Forgiveness can lead to healing and reconciliation, allowing us to move forward in our relationship.

Release from Bondage

Holding onto past hurts can create bitterness and resentment, leading us to become emotionally and mentally stuck. It’s like being in bondage to the past, unable to move forward.

However, we have the power to choose to release ourselves from this bondage. By letting go of grudges and pain, we can free ourselves from the chains of the past and move towards a more positive and fulfilling future.

Renewing the Mind

Our thoughts have a significant impact on our emotions and behaviors. Negative thoughts can keep us in a negative headspace, making it harder to move past past hurts and grow in our relationship.

Renewing the mind involves choosing to focus on positivity, practice self-reflection and adopt a growth mindset. This means examining our thoughts and challenging them when they are negative or harmful to our relationship.

It’s about choosing to focus on the present, rather than dwelling on the past.

Practical Steps to Letting Go of the Past

1. Acknowledge the pain – Recognize the pain and hurt caused and how it has affected the relationship.

2. Choose forgiveness – Decide that you will forgive and let go of negative thoughts and emotions.

3. Communicate – Communication is key to resolving issues in a relationship.

Talk openly and honestly with your spouse about the situation and how it made you feel. 4.

Seek counseling – A professional therapist can help guide you through the process of forgiveness and healing. They can also assist you in developing coping strategies to help you move forward.

5. Focus on the present – Shift your focus to the present moment and what you can do to build a stronger and healthier relationship.

Consider making plans and goals with your spouse and working towards them together.


Letting go of the past can be a difficult process, but it’s essential to building a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By choosing forgiveness, releasing yourself from bondage, and renewing your mind, you can free yourself from negative thinking patterns and focus on the present and future.

Remember that healing takes time and effort, but with patience, love, and commitment, you can build a thriving and lasting marriage. Maintaining a healthy and lasting marriage requires ongoing effort, patience, and intentionality.

From investing in your spouse to letting go of the past, laying down the need to be right, and setting goals together, these tips can help you build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship. Remember that building a lasting marriage takes time and effort, but with love, compassion, and forgiveness, you can create a bond that withstands the test of time.

By prioritizing your spouse, practicing empathy and understanding, and choosing positivity and growth, you can build the foundation for a beautiful and fulfilling marriage that truly honors God’s design.

Popular Posts