The Mating Grounds

6 Manipulative Tactics Abusers Use and How to Recognize Them

Hey there,

Are you worried that you might be in an abusive relationship? Or maybe you know someone who might be?

It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, or status! Abuse is never okay, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Today, we’ll be talking about manipulation tactics used by abusers and how their perception of power makes it hard to leave.


Have you ever had someone tell you that you’re crazy? That you’re imagining things?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser tries to manipulate your perception of reality. They might brainwash you into believing their version of events, even when you know it’s not true.

They might convince you that you’re overly emotional or insecure, making you doubt your own judgment. And when you try to confront them, they lie and tell you you’re making a big deal out of nothing.

Blaming the victim

Do you feel guilty for things that are not your fault? Does your abuser make you responsible for their actions?

Blaming the victim is a tactic abusers use to maintain control over their partner. They might tell you that you’re the problem, that everything would be fine if only you did things differently.

They might accuse you of being too sensitive, or not caring enough. But the truth is, it’s not your fault – it’s theirs.

Refusing to answer questions

Have you ever tried to talk to your abuser about their behavior, only to be met with silence?

Refusing to answer questions is a way for abusers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

They might dismiss your concerns as unnecessary, or tell you that you’re overreacting. They might even try to make excuses, or blame someone else entirely.

Claiming to know the victim better than themselves

Do you feel like your abuser understands you better than you do? Are they always telling you how you feel, or what you want?

Abusers might claim to have a sixth sense about their partner, or that they know them better than they know themselves. They might use this as an excuse to control your behavior, or to invalidate your feelings.

Using threats to maintain control

Do you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells around your abuser? Are you scared of what they might do if you disagree with them?

Threats are a way for abusers to instill fear and maintain control over their partner. They might threaten to harm you, your family, or your pets if you don’t do what they say.

They might also use name-calling or other forms of verbal abuse to intimidate you.

Switching between kindness and cruelty

Do you feel like your abuser’s behavior is unpredictable? Do they switch between being loving one minute, and cruel the next?

This is known as the cycle of abuse. Abusers might use kindness as a way to lure their partner back in, after a period of cruelty.

They might try to isolate their partner from friends and family, or use mind games to manipulate their behavior. It’s important to remember that you are not alone.

Abuse is never okay, and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help out there.

You can talk to a therapist, a trusted friend, a family member, or contact a local domestic violence hotline. Remember, you deserve to be happy and safe!

Take care,

[Your Name]

In conclusion, it’s important to recognize the manipulation tactics used by abusers such as gaslighting, blaming the victim, refusing to answer questions, claiming to know the victim better than themselves, using threats to maintain control, and switching between kindness and cruelty.

Abusive relationships are harmful, and no one deserves to be in one. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, there is help available.

Reach out to a trusted source such as a therapist, a friend or family member, or a domestic violence hotline and remember that you always deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. It’s never too late to seek help and break free from an abusive relationship!

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