Sex in Marriage: A Comprehensive Guide to Enhance Sexual Satisfaction
Sex is a topic that many people find uncomfortable to talk about, even with their spouses. However, it is one of the most important aspects of any marriage.
Discussions about sex can also be helpful in building strong and long-lasting relationships. This article will cover different aspects of sex in marriage, including how often couples do it, how to handle different sex drives, and what is considered normal or abnormal when it comes to sex.
1. Frequency of Sex in Marriage
How often do married couples have sex?
This question has intrigued people for a long time. Researchers have conducted numerous studies to answer this question.
According to a Newsweek magazine article, the average American couple has sex 58 times per year. This is roughly once a week.
Unmarried couples, on the other hand, have sex more frequently. There are many factors that influence the frequency of sex in marriage, including age and personal circumstances.
David Schnarch, a licensed psychologist, conducted a study of 20,000 couples and found that couples who have sex at least once a week report higher levels of well-being, affection, and positive mood. What’s more, Schnarch found that sexual communication and satisfaction are essential for maintaining a healthy sex life.
Another study conducted by Pepper Schwartz and James Wittes found that couples who have sex once a week or less often report low levels of sexual satisfaction and are more likely to have a sexless marriage. This is particularly true for couples who have been married for a long time.
The Journal of Sex Research reports that nearly 15% of married couples have not had sex in the last six months. The AARP conducted a study that found that the frequency of sex decreases as people get older.
This is due to a decrease in sexual desire, physical changes, and various health issues. However, some couples report having great sex lives well into their 80s and beyond.
Lauren Fogel Mersy, a certified sex therapist, recommends that couples talk openly about their sexual desires and needs. She also suggests that couples seek help if they are experiencing a low sex drive.
2. Understanding Your Sex Drive
Couples have different sex drives.
It’s not uncommon for one partner to have a higher libido than the other. This can cause frustration, rejection, and resentment in the relationship.
Ian Kerner, a sex coach, suggests that couples need to talk openly about their sexual needs and expectations. He also recommends experimenting with different techniques and positions to keep the passion alive.
There are many factors that can affect a person’s sex drive, including stress, medication, mood, body image, and life changes. Personal and relationship factors can also contribute to variance in sex drives.
For example, if one partner is constantly nagging or critical of the other, it can lower their sex drive. Stress and anxiety can also lower a person’s libido and put a damper on their sex life.
The Society for Personality and Social Psychology reports that people who have sex more frequently tend to be happier and more content with their lives. However, there is no magic number when it comes to how much sex you need to be happy.
Every person has different sexual needs and desires. What’s important is that both partners feel satisfied and fulfilled in their sexual relationship.
Enhancing Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage: Seven Proven Tips
1. Scheduling Sex Can Save Your Marriage
Megan Fleming, PhD, suggests that married couples should start scheduling intimacy with each other. Many people believe that scheduling sex can ruin the mood and spontaneity of sex.
However, scheduling is a great way to show your partner that you prioritize intimacy and the intimate moments within the marriage. Creating time for intimacy is crucial to enhancing sexual satisfaction, as it allows both partners to prepare themselves mentally and physically for intimate moments.
Creating a plan that works for both partners is essential. Conditions, such as tiredness, must be considered to avoid disappointment or frustration.
Communicating regularly and being open to making changes to the timetable should be part of the plan as well.
2. Stop Negative Feelings in a Marriage
Quality versus quantity is a major issue that can ruin sexual desire in a marriage. A negative perspective can often lead to a lack of attraction towards your partner.
One way to change your perspective is through positive affirmations and self-belief. Positive affirmations are statements that encourage positive change.
Communication is also essential in reducing negative feelings in a marriage. Talk about how you feel and be open about your needs and wants.
Couples should learn to make time for each other, and that should include sexual intimacy. By turning negative thoughts into positive ones, couples can experience sexual satisfaction in their marriage.
3. Look and Feel Attractive at Home
Many couples often become too comfortable in their ‘comfort zone.’ Looking and feeling good is essential in any intimate relationship.
Comfort comes with self-love and self-care. Put in some effort to look attractive, fresh, and sexy at home.
Change of wardrobe, haircuts, make-up and using inner sexiness to build confidence can help boost your sex life. Feeling attractive and confident will lead to more intimate moments with your partner.
4. Preserve the Mystery
Being in a long-term relationship can mean that partners often feel that they know everything about each other.
However, preserving the mystery of one’s partner can reignite desire. Be open to revealing different facets of your life, surprises, and creative intimate moments that will keep the excitement in the marriage.
5. Bring Sexy Back into Your Relationship
Dating, intimacy, and the understanding of love languages can help reignite the spark in married couples’ sex life.
Understanding your partner’s love language can help you achieve the desired outcome. Anticipation is important in enhancing sexual satisfaction; therefore, adding kissing and caressing to the mix can increase intimacy in the bedroom.
6. Stop Playing the No-Sex Blame Game with Your Spouse
Being accountable for one’s actions can play a significant role in the health of their marital relationship.
As opposed to playing the blame game, take responsibility when things are not going well. Visit a good marriage therapist if you need improvement in this area.
Communication and the willingness to take responsibility will help build a thriving married sex life.
7. How Married Sex and Satisfaction Are Related
An assessment by the Durex survey provided insights and found that emotional connections and respect within the relationship are crucial to sexual satisfaction in a marriage. Out of 100, the report indicates that 74% lead happier lives after sex.
Therefore, building a strong emotional connection with your partner will lead to a healthy and more satisfied sex life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the concept of enhancing sexual satisfaction in married life is crucial to the success and longevity of any marriage. From understanding sexual frequency and sex drive differences, to scheduling intimacy, building self-confidence, and preserving mystery, there are many strategies that couples can employ to spice up their sex life.
While there is no magic formula to a successful and happy sex life, communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to put in effort and experimentation are essential components. By implementing these strategies, couples can build a strong emotional connection and a satisfying, healthy, and lasting sexual relationship.
