7 Ways to Take Back Control from a Controlling Husband

Working On the Marriage

Defining a Controlling Husband

What to do when you have a controlling husband? It can be tough when your relationship feels like a one-way street, where he’s calling all the shots and you’re left feeling powerless. But know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to deal with a controlling husband. In this article, we’ll explore the tell-tale signs of a controlling husband, the causes of control issues, and most importantly, what you can do about it.

First, let’s define what we mean by a controlling husband. A controlling husband is someone who uses manipulative tactics to hold power over your life.

He might dictate how you dress or whom you spend time with, downplay your achievements, monitor your every move, or use emotional or physical violence to assert his control.

Causes of Control Issues

Control issues don’t arise out of thin air. They have roots in unresolved problems from your husband’s past.

Controlling behavior can stem from toxic parents or childhood abuse, for example. Low self-esteem can also fuel a sense of insecurity, causing the need to control.

Understanding the root causes can help you approach the situation with empathy.

Signs of a Controlling Husband

How do you know if you’re dealing with a controlling husband? Some signs include feelings of jealousy, financial dependence, dictating who you talk to, criticizing you constantly, threatening to leave, mocking your passions, and even spying.

If you’re experiencing any of these, then it’s time to address the situation.

Dealing with a Controlling and Dominating Husband

Staying Calm While Handling Controlling Behavior

When faced with a controlling husband, it’s crucial to remain calm. You can use a method called reverse psychology, which means positively reinforcing the behavior you want your partner to exhibit.

For example, if they want to control what you wear, maybe start dressing up more often and receiving compliments from others for how good you look.

Controlling and Changing Yourself

As with any interpersonal relationship, there’s only so much we can control. However, we can work on self-improvement and change from within.

By focusing on yourself, you can rebuild your sense of self-worth and show your husband that you can’t be controlled. Communication exercises that strengthen your communication skills and build trust can help take you there.

Expressing the Hurt Caused by Controlling Behavior

When you’re confronted by controlling behavior, emotional abuse begins to set in. To overcome emotional abuse in your relationship, it’s essential to have an open, honest conversation with your husband.

Sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart talk. Let him know how his behavior is hurtful and why it’s important to create a safe and nurturing environment.

Cooperating with Each Other

You can attend marriage workshops or go for marriage counseling. These sessions promote co-operation between partners and help rebuild trust in your relationship.

Take back control of your life with full confidence and faith in love.

Getting Out of a Controlling Relationship

When you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be challenging to recognize the signs of emotional, physical, and verbal abuse. However, getting out of a detrimental relationship is always the best option.

If you’re dealing with a controlling spouse, you might notice them blaming you for everything, trying to isolate you, or trying to control every aspect of your life. If you’ve experienced any or all of these signs, it’s time to consider walking out or seeking divorce.

Recognizing Signs of Emotional, Physical, and Verbal Abuse

It’s common to think that a controlling spouse is only someone who constantly nags you to do things or be in control of everything in your life. However, control could manifest as emotional, physical, or verbal abuse.

Incidents of verbal abuse can range from insults to threats of violence, while physical abuse can range from pushing, slapping to hitting. Emotional abuse is characterized by domination, blame, criticism, and being controlling.

You must recognize such signs and seek professional help before the situation worsens.

Seeking Help for Emotional Abuse

If you’re dealing with emotional abuse, seeking help from a professional therapist or counselor can be beneficial. They can help guide you on the best course of action to ensure your safety and help you heal from the traumatic experience.

Bonobology’s expert therapist panel is a great resource if you’re looking for personalized counseling. They can offer the right perspective by investing time and effort in your relationship woes.

Through talking therapy, couples can learn how to resolve conflicts, empathize with each other, and find ways of creating a healthy, happy relationship.

Importance of Balance in a Marriage

One of the tell-tale signs of a controlling spouse is seeking to have complete control over everything in the relationship. However, a relationship should be a partnership rather than a competition.

A balanced relationship means sharing responsibilities, decision-making, and showing mutual respect. To maintain balance, it’s crucial to maintain healthy communication, equal division of work, and mutual understanding.

Seeking Help for a Dominant Spouse Problem

If you’re dealing with a dominant spouse problem, seeking help from experts in couples counseling can help you establish clear lines of communication and create a healthy connection. Finding a qualified professional who understands and is willing to help can enhance the growth and repair in your relationship.

A Bonobology relationship expert is an excellent resource in this regard. They can help you understand how to navigate through a controlling relationship and help you identify the necessary steps to protect yourself.


Recognizing the signs of abuse is essential to help protect yourself from toxic relationships. Identifying an emotional, physical, or verbal abusive relationship can be beneficial because it is the start of healing, especially if you’re dealing with a dominant spouse’s problem.

Remember, there’s no shame in seeking professional help to make significant changes in your life or marriage. Seeking the right help can make all the difference in the world and pave the way for a healthier and happier you.

In conclusion, recognizing and dealing with a controlling or dominant spouse is crucial for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Whether you’re dealing with emotional, physical, or verbal abuse, it’s essential to know the signs and seek professional help.

A balanced relationship is built on mutual respect, communication, and understanding, and it’s important to maintain this balance. Seeking help from trusted professionals, such as Bonobology’s relationship expert panel, can provide personalized counseling to help resolve conflicts and restore your relationship.

Remember, you don’t have to suffer in silence, and there is always help available. Letting go of a toxic relationship might be tough, but it’s worth the effort to prioritize your well-being and happiness.

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