The Mating Grounds

9 Secrets to Make Your Avoidant Partner Chase After You

Are you struggling to connect with an avoidant partner? Do you find yourself feeling frustrated and unsure of how to create a closer bond?

Understanding the characteristics and negative associations of an avoidant attachment style is the first step towards building a stronger relationship. In this article, we’ll explore how to get an avoidant to chase you, while also emphasizing the importance of creating a safe space and setting reasonable expectations.

Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style

Individuals with an avoidant attachment style are often characterized as self-sufficient and independent. They may feel uncomfortable with intimacy, and may even be gamophobes – individuals who fear marriage or commitment.

This fear may stem from unresolved childhood issues, which can make it difficult for them to trust and feel secure in a relationship. Avoidants may feel suffocated or paranoid when it comes to emotional closeness, leading to negative associations with relationship satisfaction.

Negative Associations with Avoidant Attachment Style

If you’re in a relationship with an avoidant partner, you may already be familiar with the challenges that come with this attachment style. Negative associations with relationship satisfaction can lead to feelings of frustraion, rejection, and loneliness.

However, it’s important to remember that these negative feelings are not solely your responsibility to fix. Building a strong relationship takes effort from both partners, and it’s important to set reasonable expectations and maintain your own emotional well-being.

Significance of Creating a Safe Space

One of the best things you can do for your avoidant partner is to create a safe space in which they feel accepted and attracted to you. By avoiding pressure or expectations of commitment, you can help your partner feel more comfortable and at ease.

This means being patient and taking things slow, allowing them to come to you when they’re ready. It also means communicating your own needs and concerns, and being open to compromise.

How to Get an Avoidant to Chase You

While it’s important to create a safe space, boosting your partner’s ego and creating mystery can invigorate their interest in you. Some ways to get an avoidant to chase you include:


Boosting Their Ego

Many avoidants suffer from low self-esteem and poor self-confidence, and compliments can go a long way in showing them that they’re valued and desired. 2.

Creating Mystery

Avoidants thrive on the slow process of getting to know each other. Unveiling your vulnerabilities bit by bit while challenging them to learn more about you can occupy their minds and make them miss you.

3. Doing Things Together

Engaging in shared activities can help avoidants who tend to isolate themselves.

Valuable lessons can be learned from spending time together while building mutual trust. 4.

Using Relaxed Body Language

Approaching your partner with a relaxed body language can help set them at ease and encourage open communication. 5.

Waiting for Them to Call You

Allowing your partner space and time can help combat their fear of losing and provide you with ample time for meditation and self-reflection. 6.

Looking Your Best

Pampering yourself and dressing attractively can pique their interest, increasing their desire to engage with you further. 7.

Not Being Too Eager About the Future

Significant life changes can be disorienting and overwhelming. It’s best to take things one day at a time and communicate your desires for change at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners.

8. Reducing Social Media Usage

Aim to maintain privacy and mystery through the use of the no-contact rule.

Allow curiosity to build and entice them to reach out to you. 9.

Telling Them How They Make You Feel

It’s important to communicate your feelings to an avoidant partner in a safe space. Acknowledge their isolation and provide reassurance that you have the patience to wait for them to open up to you.


In conclusion, building a strong relationship with an avoidant partner takes effort from both parties. By understanding avoidant attachment style and negative associations with relationship satisfaction, you can set reasonable expectations and build a safe space for you and your partner.

While it’s important to create the conditions under which your avoidant partner can best open up to you, you also need to make sure you look after your own emotional wellbeing. By following some of the suggestions outlined in this article, you can provide a healthy and vibrant atmosphere that will invite your avoidant partner to chase after you.

In conclusion, understanding the main points of this article can help you navigate a relationship with an avoidant partner. By recognizing the characteristics of an avoidant attachment style and negative associations with relationship satisfaction, you can set reasonable expectations and create a safe space for both partners.

Implementing strategies such as boosting their ego, creating mystery, doing things together, using relaxed body language, waiting for them to call you, looking your best, not being too eager about the future, reducing social media usage, and telling them how they make you feel can help to solidify your bond. Ultimately, building a strong and healthy relationship takes effort, patience, and understanding on both sides.

With these points in mind, you can work towards creating a deeper connection with your avoidant partner.

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