Understanding Double Standards in Relationships
Have you ever felt like your partner expects you to do certain things, but they themselves don’t adhere to the same standards? Or have you been accused of doing something that they do themselves without a second thought?
These are just a few examples of what we call double standards.
So, what are double standards?
Essentially, it’s when there is an unfair and inconsistent policy or practice within a relationship. Double standards can be emotional abuse and are often used by abusers to justify their actions or place blame on their partners.
Examples of Double Standards in Relationships
1. Meeting Needs
Have you ever found yourself meeting your partner’s needs without them reciprocating? It’s essential to communicate your needs and ensure that your partner is capable of meeting them.
2. Treating Families
Both partners should show hospitality and respect towards each other’s families, regardless of whether they like them or not. It’s also important to understand that your partner may love their family, even if they don’t always understand or get along with them.
3. Transparency
Sharing information about your whereabouts, finances, and plans with your partner is essential in building trust. However, this trust should be mutual, and you should expect the same level of transparency from your partner.
4. Managing Chores
Household chores need to be divided equally between partners. The division should be based on fairness and balance.
5. Flirting License
Your partner might flirt and give or receive attention from others, which is fine as long as it doesn’t hurt you or your relationship. The same courtesy should be extended to you.
6. Humiliation
Humiliating your partner in front of friends or family is never okay. No matter how frustrated you may be with your partner, it’s essential to address the issue in private without belittling them.
7. Me Time
Everyone needs some alone time, but it’s essential to ensure that your partner is getting the same amount of “me time.”
8. Friends
Your partner should respect your friends, even if they don’t necessarily like them. They should also give you the freedom to maintain and build relationships with your friends, just as you should do for them.
9. Sex
It’s essential to make sure that your sexual needs are being met and that both partners feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.
10. Jealousy
Jealousy is natural, but it’s important to address it and work through it instead of using it to control your partner’s behavior or actions.
11. Money
When it comes to finances, both partners should share responsibilities, communicate openly, and track spending.
12. Phone Calls
Not returning phone calls or messages can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety in a relationship.
It’s important to communicate and show consideration for your partner’s feelings.
13. Listening
Active listening is essential in any relationship.
Both partners should show empathy and understanding when conversing with each other.
How to Avoid Double Standards in Relationships
1. Putting Your Partner’s Needs First
Compromise and love are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Both partners should work towards meeting each other’s needs and wants.
2. Communicating about Family Ties
Respect and understanding are crucial when dealing with families. Make an effort to see things from your partner‘s point of view and communicate openly.
3. Transparency in Finances
Work together as a team and utilize the expertise of a financial advisor if needed. Openly track finances and split responsibilities fairly.
4. Getting to Know Each Other’s Friends
Acceptance and understanding go a long way. Make an effort to get to know your partner’s friends and give them equal treatment as your own.
5. Equal Division of Household Chores
Communication, fairness, and responsibility are the keys to dividing household chores equally. Use an online tool or app to track who is responsible for what.
6. Parenting Together
Being a team when it comes to parenting is essential. Make sure that both partners are doing an equal share of the work and managing time effectively.
7. Mutual Respect in Socialization
Equality, consensus, and understanding are the pillars of mutual respect when socializing. Take turns choosing activities, and find activities that both partners enjoy.
8. Acknowledging Hormones
Hormones can be a factor in relationships, but it’s important to discuss them and address them with empathy and understanding.
9. Addressing Trust Issues and Insecurities
Perception plays a big role in trust and insecurity issues.
Open communication and understanding will help address any concerns or fears.
10. Splitting the Bill
Splitting the bill is fair and respectful.
It shows that both partners value each other’s independence, financial status, and contribution to the relationship.
11. Respecting Each Other’s Privacy
Trust and agreement are the foundation of respecting each other’s privacy.
Make sure that you both have agreed upon boundaries and follow them.
12. Maintaining Mutual Respect Regarding Flirting
Communication, boundaries, and perception are key when discussing flirting.
It’s essential to address and work through insecurities and ensure that both partners are comfortable with the level of flirting.
13. Addressing Hurt Feelings
Vulnerability, closure, and empathy are important when addressing hurt feelings.
Make sure to listen to your partner and find a solution to the problem.
14. Keeping Private Matters Private
Confidentiality, trust, and professional help are important when keeping private matters private.
It’s essential to ensure that both partners feel safe and secure.
15. Avoiding Disrespectful Jokes
Sensitivity, communication, and understanding are essential in avoiding disrespectful jokes.
It’s important to be aware of your partner’s feelings and be respectful at all times.
16. Appreciating the Breadwinning and House Managing
Partnership, gratitude, and empathy should be present in any relationship.
It’s essential to acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s efforts in the relationship.
17. Listening to Each Other
Empathy, communication, and understanding are important when listening to each other.
Both partners should listen and validate each other’s feelings.
18. Allowing ‘Me’ Time for All
Self-care, equality, and gratitude are important in allowing ‘me’ time.
Both partners need time to recharge and grow as individuals.
In conclusion, double standards can be harmful and damaging to any relationship.
It’s essential to address any double standards and work towards creating a healthy, equal relationship. Remember to always communicate openly and show empathy and understanding towards your partner.
Responding to Double Standards
Double standards often occur in relationships, leaving one person feeling unfairly treated. This can lead to resentment, frustration, and sometimes even the end of the relationship.
It’s important to know how to respond when faced with double standards to prevent further damage and work towards building a healthy, equal partnership.
Analyzing the Situation
The first step in responding to double standards is to analyze the situation. Try to understand why your partner is treating you unfairly and how it’s affecting you.
It’s important to consider their perspective and see if they are aware of their behavior. Have an open conversation to address the specific situations where double standards have occurred and analyze the cause behind it.
Perception plays a vital role in understanding the situation. Both partners need to understand how their actions affect the other and learn how to empathize and respond to the situation adequately.
Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand why they may have acted in a particular way. By communicating openly and honestly, you can work towards a better understanding of each other’s behavior and address the issues together.
Ending Toxic Relationships
If the double standards continue to occur despite your efforts to address the behavior, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. Toxic relationships are harmful and can lead to emotional abuse and manipulation.
It’s crucial to prioritize your self-care and know when the relationship is not healthy for you. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help to process your emotions and seek guidance on how to end the relationship safely.
Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy, equal relationship, and it’s okay to walk away from a toxic situation.
Knowing What A Healthy Relationship Entails
To prevent double standards from occurring in future relationships, it’s essential to understand what a healthy relationship entails. It’s important to have self-worth, empowerment, and understanding when it comes to relationships.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should be treated with respect, equality, and fairness. Communication should be open and honest, and both partners should understand each other’s needs and wants.
Each person in the relationship should feel empowered and safe to express themselves without fear of judgment or repercussions. It’s crucial to establish boundaries, both personal and for the relationship as a whole.
Knowing your limits, boundaries, and what you won’t tolerate will prevent future double standards and promote healthy communication and behaviors.
In Conclusion
Double standards can harm relationships and lead to toxic behavior. It’s important to respond to double standards by analyzing the situation, understanding each other’s perception, and communicating openly to address the issue.
If the problem persists despite your efforts, it may be time to end the relationship and prioritize self-care. Knowing what a healthy relationship entails will also prevent future double standards and promote healthy communication and behaviors.
Remember, always prioritize your self-worth and values in any relationship. In conclusion, understanding double standards in relationships is key to promoting healthy and equal partnerships.
It’s important to address specific situations where double standards have occurred and communicate openly to prevent further harm. Additionally, putting your partner’s needs first, respecting each other’s boundaries, acknowledging insecurities and trust issues, and maintaining mutual respect will prevent future double standards and promote healthy behaviors.
Remember to prioritize self-care and seek professional help if you experience toxic behavior in any relationship. By understanding the importance of healthy relationships, we can lead happier and more meaningful lives with those we love.
