Are you tired of constantly being let down in your relationships? Do you often find yourself being promised the world marriage, kids, a future only to be left in the dust when things don’t go as planned?
If so, you may be a victim of future faking. Future faking is a term used to describe the practice of making grand promises and commitments in a relationship without any intention of keeping them.
Whether it’s a dream of a future marriage or a promise to always be there, these empty words are often used by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder to keep their partners under their emotional control.
Examples of Future Faking
Think back to past relationships, were you promised the world by your significant other? Promises of love, passion, and even marriage were thrown around like confetti.
However, as time went on, these promises seemingly vanished. And as much as you tried to rekindle things, it just never seemed to work out.
A common sign of future faking is the speed of the relationship. Do things move too quickly for your liking?
Is your partner talking about marriage on the second date? If so, this could be a sign that they are more interested in the fantasy of a relationship than actually building a genuine connection with you.
Another sign is a partner’s superficial knowledge of you. Do they constantly talk about themselves without ever asking about your interests, hobbies, and aspirations?
This could be an indication that they are only interested in the idea of a relationship, rather than actually getting to know you as an individual.
Dealing with a Future Faker
So, you’ve just found out that your partner is a future faker. What now?
Here are some tips on how to deal with this type of person:
1. Hold Off Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy, such as sex, releases oxytocin a hormone that promotes attachment.
By holding off on physical intimacy until you truly know your partner, you can decrease the chance of becoming overly attached to someone who may not be genuine. 2.
Draw Boundaries
Setting emotional boundaries is key in dealing with a future faker. This means making clear commitments and refusing to put up with behavior that does not align with those commitments.
By doing so, you can protect yourself from being hurt by someone who is not capable of having a healthy relationship. 3.
Prioritize Actions Over Words
If your partner constantly breaks their promises or uses hollow words, it may be time to prioritize their actions over what they say. Actions speak louder than words, and if they can’t back up what they say, it’s time to move on to someone who can.
The Consequences of Future Faking
Ignoring the signs of future faking can lead to hopelessness and emotional damage. Cognitive dissonance the mental discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs can arise when a partner’s actions do not match their words.
This can lead to questioning one’s own judgment and self-worth, and ultimately result in a loss of trust and confidence in future relationships. In conclusion, future faking is a real phenomenon that can cause emotional damage.
By being aware of the signs of future faking, holding off physical intimacy, drawing boundaries, and prioritizing actions over words, you can protect yourself from those who are not capable of having a healthy relationship. Remember: you deserve someone who is genuine in their intentions and who will match their words with actions.
Don’t settle for anything less. 3) Can a Future Faker Change?
The question on whether a future faker can change is a complicated one. Individuals who display this behavior often have narcissistic personality disorder, which can make empathy difficult.
However, it is not impossible for them to change their ways. Therapy can be a helpful tool in promoting change for those with this disorder.
It can help them develop empathy and learn how to communicate honestly with their partners. However, it is important to note that change can take time, and not all individuals with narcissistic personality disorder will be receptive to therapy.
It is also important to be cautious when considering whether or not to continue a relationship with a future faker. While change is possible, it is not guaranteed, and it is important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health.
4) Spotting a Future Faker
If you’ve been in a relationship with a future faker before, you know how damaging it can be. But how can you spot a future faker?
Here are some common signs:
1. Difference between Words and Actions
One of the biggest indicators of future faking is a discrepancy between what your partner is saying and what they are actually doing.
For example, they may promise to call you every day, but fail to follow through on that promise. Or, they may say that they want to get married, but refuse to make any concrete plans for the future.
2. Promises and Excuses
Future fakers will often make grand promises they know they can’t keep, and then blame-shift when they fall through on these commitments.
They may make excuses for not following through on their promises, such as blaming work or family commitments. 3.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used by individuals to make their partner question their own thoughts and perceptions. Future fakers may use gaslighting to cover up their dishonesty and make their partner feel crazy or paranoid for suspecting them of lying.
Future Faking in People with BPD
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness characterized by intense emotions, unstable relationships, and a distorted sense of self. People with BPD may also engage in future faking behaviors, as they struggle with impulsive decision-making and a fear of abandonment.
It is important to recognize that not all individuals with BPD engage in future faking, and those who do should not be dismissed as inherently dishonest or manipulative. People with BPD can benefit from therapy and medication management to help them manage their symptoms and build healthy relationships.
In conclusion, spotting a future faker can be difficult, but it is important to be aware of the signs in order to protect yourself from emotional damage. While it is possible for future fakers to change, it is important to prioritize your own well-being when considering whether or not to continue a relationship.
Additionally, recognizing that not all individuals with BPD engage in future faking behaviors can help reduce stigma and promote empathy towards those struggling with mental illness. In summary, future faking is a behavior that can cause emotional damage to those involved in relationships with individuals who are dishonest or manipulative.
By being aware of the signs and taking steps to protect yourself, such as drawing boundaries, prioritizing actions over words, and holding off physical intimacy, you can safeguard your emotional well-being. While change is possible for individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, it is important to prioritize your own well-being when considering whether to continue a relationship.
Additionally, recognizing that not all individuals with BPD engage in future faking behavior can help reduce stigma and promote empathy towards those struggling with mental illness. Overall, it is important to enter into relationships with open eyes and prioritize healthy communication and boundaries to ensure a fulfilling and genuine connection with your partner.