The Mating Grounds

Are You Addicted to Validation? Overcoming the Need for Approval

The Problem of Seeking Validation: Why Do We Do It? Are you someone who constantly seeks approval and validation from others?

Do you imagine scenarios in your head where you receive recognition and praise for your accomplishments? If so, you’re not alone.

Many of us have a constant internal monologue of seeking validation, but have you ever wondered why? There are several reasons for validation seeking, and one of the most common is low self-esteem and self-worth.

If we don’t accept ourselves and lack self-confidence, we may turn to others to gain validation and feel better about ourselves. We might even become people pleasers, always seeking to make others happy in order to feel good about ourselves.

Another reason for validation seeking is learned and innate behavior. We observe others seeking validation and recognition, and we may model this behavior ourselves.

Additionally, some research suggests that our genetics may play a role in seeking validation. Our ancestors relied on validation and approval from others in order to survive, so it may be a trait that has been passed down through generations.

Finally, some may argue that validation seeking is simply a form of addiction. We may become addicted to the positive response we receive from others and the validation we give ourselves.

This can lead to a cycle of constantly seeking more validation, which can negatively impact our lives in several ways.

Negative Effects of Seeking Validation

Procrastination is one effect of seeking validation. When we fear disappointment or decline, we may put off taking action and miss out on opportunities.

We may also spend too much time trying to perfect our work in order to gain validation, which can lead to anxiety and stress. Ultimately, this can negatively affect our productivity and success.

Doing too much is another negative effect of seeking validation. We may become perfectionists, constantly striving for perfection in all aspects of our lives.

This can lead to burnout and exhaustion, as well as placing unnecessary pressure on ourselves and those around us. Additionally, we may become people pleasers, saying yes to everything in order to gain validation from others.

This can lead to overcommitting and taking on too much, which can negatively impact our mental health. Finally, constantly seeking validation can prevent us from being in touch with ourselves.

We may become so focused on gaining approval from others that we lose sight of our own identity, personality, and desires. This can lead to a lack of fulfillment and happiness in our lives.


In conclusion, seeking validation and approval from others is a common human trait, but it can have negative impacts on our lives. By recognizing why we seek validation and understanding the negative effects it can have on us, we can take steps to break the cycle and become more self-aware and self-accepting.

We can learn to validate ourselves and find fulfillment in our own accomplishments, which can lead to greater productivity, success, and happiness in our lives. Tips to Overcome Validation Seeking: How to Boost Self-Love and Let Go of Seeking Approval

Do you find yourself constantly seeking validation and approval from others?

Do you struggle with making choices without someone else’s approval? Overcoming validation seeking can be a difficult journey, but it’s possible.

Here are some tips to help you boost your self-love, stop seeking approval for your choices, and reap the benefits of letting go of validation seeking.

Boosting Self-Love and Self-Acceptance

One of the keys to overcoming validation seeking is boosting your self-love and self-acceptance. This means learning to accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all.

To do this, you will need to become more self-aware. Take a look at your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

What triggers your need for validation? What kind of validation are you seeking?

By becoming more aware of your validation seeking, you can start to work through it. One way to boost your self-love and self-acceptance is to focus on your internal source of validation.

Write down positive affirmations about yourself and read them to yourself every day. Journal about your thoughts and feelings, and make a conscious effort to focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

Use these internal sources of validation to build your self-confidence and self-worth.

Stop Seeking Approval for Choices

Making choices can be difficult when we are constantly seeking validation from others. But to overcome validation seeking, we must learn to make choices for ourselves, without seeking external validation.

Here are two ways to do this:

Embrace Individuality

Recognize and embrace the differences that make you who you are. Understanding that not everyone will agree with your choices or opinions is liberating.

Embracing your individuality allows you to make choices based on your own beliefs and values, rather than seeking validation from others.

Evaluate Tasks and Actions

Before you take an action or complete a task, take a moment to ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you seeking validation?

If so, take a step back and evaluate whether or not completing the task or taking the action is truly necessary for your growth and development. By becoming more aware of your validation seeking, you can start to make choices that are in your best interest rather than relying on the approval of others.

Benefits of Letting Go of Validation Seeking

The benefits of letting go of validation seeking are numerous. By relying on internal sources of validation, you can experience greater happiness and freedom.

You’ll be less concerned with the opinions of others and more focused on your own self-discovery. Your sense of self-respect will increase, as you learn to trust and respect your own choices and actions.


Validation seeking is a common human trait, but it can be overcome. By boosting self-love and self-acceptance, learning to make choices for ourselves, and letting go of external validation, we can break the cycle of seeking approval from others.

Doing so will lead to greater happiness, freedom, and self-respect. Remember to always embrace your individuality and trust your own choices and decisions, and you’ll find yourself on the path to genuine self-validation.

In summary, seeking validation and approval from others can have negative consequences on our mental health and self-esteem. Low self-worth, people-pleasing tendencies, procrastination, and an inability to be in touch with our true selves are all potential outcomes of relying on external validation.

However, by focusing on internal sources of validation and learning to make choices based on our own beliefs and values, we can break the cycle of validation seeking and experience greater happiness, freedom, and self-respect. Embracing our individuality and trusting our own choices and decisions is key to realizing our full potential.

Ultimately, overcoming validation seeking is a crucial step in achieving genuine self-validation and living a fulfilling life.

Popular Posts