The Mating Grounds

Are You an Option or a Priority? 11 Signs and How to Take Control

Are you unsure about where you stand in your relationship? Do you feel like you’re constantly putting in effort while your partner takes you for granted?

These are signs that your partner may be treating you like an option instead of a priority. Here are 11 red flags that may indicate your partner is not fully invested in the relationship:


Unclear feelings

Your partner is hesitant to define the relationship and the possibility of exclusivity. They may send mixed signals that leave you feeling confused and uncertain about where you stand.

2. No future plans

Your partner is not interested in making long-term plans with you.

They don’t talk about the future or make an effort to include you in their goals. 3.

Different behavior in person and over text

Your partner may act one way in person, but their behavior may change when communicating over text or on the phone. They may avoid commitment and make excuses for not seeing you.

4. Keeping you separate from important relationships

Your partner doesn’t introduce you to their family and friends.

They keep you separate from their important relationships, which could be a sign that they don’t see a future with you. 5.

Constant need to impress him and fear of losing him

You feel like you always have to impress your partner and walk on eggshells for fear of losing them. This type of behavior is manipulative and controlling and is not healthy for either of you.

6. Prioritizing their own convenience over yours

Your partner prioritizes their own needs and convenience over yours.

They may cancel plans or make excuses for not seeing you. 7.

Always claiming to be “busy”

Your partner constantly claims to be busy, leaving you feeling undervalued and unimportant. They don’t make an effort to prioritize your relationship or make time for you.

8. Superficial conversations and guarded emotions

Your partner may shy away from deep conversations and avoid being vulnerable with you.

They keep their emotions guarded and don’t open up to you, which can make you feel disconnected. 9.

Distracted by their phone during your time together

Your partner may be constantly checking their phone during your time together and not giving you the attention and respect you deserve. 10.

Lack of effort in the relationship

Your partner doesn’t make an effort to invest in the relationship. They don’t show reciprocity, leaving you feeling like you’re doing all the work.

11. Using sex as the primary focus of the relationship

Your partner puts a lot of emphasis on sex and physical intimacy, but doesn’t make an effort to emotionally connect with you.

They may see you as a booty call instead of a partner. Now that we’ve gone over the red flags, let’s talk about the importance of reciprocity in relationships.

Reciprocity means mutual effort and investment. It means giving as much as we take in a relationship.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Communication and openness

Communication is key in any relationship and being open and honest with each other can help strengthen the relationship.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings helps to create an emotional connection and build trust. 2.

Prioritizing each other’s needs

Partners need to be considerate of each other’s needs and make an effort to meet them. This can be as simple as taking the time to listen or being supportive when your partner needs it.

3. Maintaining boundaries and respecting each other’s time

Boundaries are important in any relationship and help ensure that each partner’s needs are respected.

It’s important to respect each other’s time and make an effort to be present and attentive when you’re together. 4.

Valuing emotional connection and support

Emotional connection and support are crucial for the longevity of the relationship. When both partners feel valued and supported, the relationship becomes stronger and more fulfilling.

In conclusion, it’s important to be aware of the signs that your partner may be treating you like an option. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to have a frank conversation with your partner about your feelings and what you need from the relationship.

Remember that reciprocity is key to a healthy relationship and that communication, openness, and mutual effort are essential components of any successful partnership. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you feel like you’re just an option instead of a priority?

Being treated this way can have serious consequences on your self-esteem, emotional well-being, and ability to build a healthy relationship. Here are some of the dangers of being treated like an option:


Negative impact on self-esteem and self-worth

Being treated like an option can lead to a negative impact on your confidence and self-worth. When your partner doesn’t treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve, it can leave you feeling unworthy and inadequate.

2. Acceptance of unequal treatment and lack of boundaries

When you’re being treated like an option, it can be easy to accept unequal treatment and lack of boundaries in the relationship.

You may begin to feel like you don’t have the right to stand up for yourself or ask for what you need. 3.

Potential for emotional abuse and manipulation

Being treated like an option can sometimes lead to emotional abuse and manipulation. Your partner may use threats or coercion to keep you in the relationship, leaving you feeling trapped and helpless.

4. Inability to build a healthy, fulfilling relationship

Being treated like an option can make it difficult to build a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Without mutual respect, trust, and effort, the relationship is unlikely to be satisfying or conducive to growth and happiness. 5.

Difficulty in moving on and finding a true, committed partner

If you’ve been treated like an option in a relationship, it can be challenging to move on and find a true, committed partner who values and respects you. You may have trust issues or struggle with making healthy choices in relationships.

So, what can you do to take control of your own happiness and avoid being treated like an option? Here are some steps you can take:


Recognizing your own worth and setting boundaries

It’s vital to recognize your own worth and set boundaries for what you’re willing to accept. You deserve respect, kindness, and honesty in any relationship.

If a partner can’t give you that, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. 2.

Communicating your needs and expectations clearly

Communication is key in any relationship. You need to be clear about your needs and expectations for the relationship.

Don’t be afraid to speak up and assert yourself. 3.

Holding yourself and your partner accountable for mutual effort

Both partners need to put in effort to make the relationship work. Hold yourself accountable for your own actions and expectations, and hold your partner accountable for theirs.

4. Walking away from unhealthy, one-sided relationships

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away from an unhealthy, one-sided relationship.

It takes courage to do so, but it’s often the best decision for your emotional well-being and growth. 5.

Keeping an open mind and being patient in finding a compatible partner

Finding a true, committed partner takes time and patience. Don’t rush into anything and keep an open mind.

Be optimistic about your future and focus on finding someone who shares your values and treats you with the respect and kindness you deserve. In conclusion, being treated like an option can have negative consequences on your emotional well-being and ability to build a healthy relationship.

Recognizing your own worth, setting boundaries, and holding yourself and your partner accountable for mutual effort are crucial steps in finding happiness and avoiding being treated like an option. Remember, you deserve love, respect, and happiness in any relationship.

In conclusion, recognizing the signs of being treated like an option and taking control of your own happiness by setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and holding yourself and your partner accountable for mutual effort is key to finding happiness and avoiding unhealthy, one-sided relationships. While it can be challenging to walk away from a stagnant relationship, it is essential to maintain self-respect and prioritize your own emotional well-being.

Never forget that you deserve love, respect, and happiness in any relationship, and taking the steps towards a healthy partnership of mutual respect, trust, and effort will lead to a fulfilling, joyful life. Remember that you are in control of your own path and that every step you take towards building a healthy relationship will bring you closer to the happiness and companionship that you deserve.

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