The Mating Grounds

Are You Obsessed? Understanding the Symptoms and Treatment of Obsessive Love Disorder

Obsessive Love Disorder: Understanding the Fixation, Possessiveness, and Manic Thoughts

Have you ever found yourself obsessed with someone to the point where it’s all you can think about? Do you feel anxious and restless when you’re not with them, constantly checking your phone, and hoping for their attention and affection?

If you have, you’re not alone. Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is a condition in which an individual becomes fixated on another person, often to an unhealthy degree.

It can lead to possessive jealousy, manic thoughts, and even stalking behavior. Here, we’ll explore the definition, causes, and symptoms of OLD.

Definition and Characteristics

Simply put, OLD is a disorder that causes an individual to become fixated on another person. They may experience delusional jealousy, meaning that they believe their partner is unfaithful, even with little or no evidence.

They may engage in excessive monitoring and following of their partner, even to the point of stalking. Individuals with OLD may feel intense fear of abandonment, which can lead to a constant need for reassurance.

They may struggle to regulate their emotions and may resort to desperate or controlling behaviors to keep their partner close.

Causes of Obsessive Love Disorder

1. Childhood Trauma

Childhood experiences of emotional neglect, feeling unloved, or pushiness can all contribute to the development of OLD.

Children who grow up without a secure attachment to their parents may struggle with intimacy and may seek to fill that void through a romantic partner. 2.

Attachment Style

Individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style tend to be more vulnerable to OLD. This attachment style is characterized by a fear of rejection and a strong desire for closeness and intimacy.

They may become overly dependent on their partner and may struggle with boundaries. 3.

Love Life History

Unhealthy love life history, such as a loveless marriage, abusive relationships, or infidelity, can contribute to OLD. These experiences can create deep insecurities and mistrust in relationships, making it difficult for a person to form healthy attachments.

4. Mental Health Conditions

Individuals with mental health conditions like OCD, relationship OCD, erotomania, or borderline personality disorder may be more susceptible to OLD.

These conditions can cause an individual to experience intrusive and obsessive thoughts about their partner, leading to unhealthy behaviors. 5.

Low Self-Esteem

Individuals with insecurities and self-devaluation may develop OLD as a way to feel validated and valued. A partner’s attention and affection can become a source of external validation, leading to an unhealthy dependence on that validation.

Symptoms of Obsessive Love Disorder

1. Uncontrollable Jealousy

Individuals with OLD may experience obsessive jealousy to the point of delusion.

They may accuse their partner of infidelity without evidence and feel paranoid about other people around them. 2.

Unhealthy Attachment Disorder

OLD can lead to an emotional and addictive attachment to the partner, to the point where they may feel they cannot function without them. They may struggle with boundaries and may become dependent on the partner for their happiness and well-being.

3. Constant Need for Reassurance

Due to a fear of abandonment, individuals with OLD may need constant reassurance from their partner.

They may feel anxious when their partner is not around or is not giving them enough attention. 4.

Possessiveness and Control Issues

Individuals with OLD may become controlling of their partner’s activities, following, monitoring, and giving orders. They may even engage in stalking behavior to keep tabs on their partner.

5. Inability to Handle Rejection

Individuals with OLD may struggle with rejection and may engage in stalker-like behavior if their partner breaks up with them.

They may not be able to accept the end of a relationship and may become obsessive about getting their partner back. In conclusion, OLD is a complex disorder that can be difficult to overcome.

With proper treatment, including therapy, medication and support, individuals with OLD can learn to regulate their emotions and form healthier attachments. If you or someone you know is struggling with OLD, seek professional help to ensure a healthier future.

Treatment Options for Obsessive Love Disorder

Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is a complex condition that requires careful management and treatment. Without proper intervention, it can lead to devastating consequences for the individual and their partner.

In this article, we’ll explore some treatment options for OLD, including no contact, distracting techniques, psychotherapy, and medication.

No Contact

Cutting ties with the person you’re fixated on is one of the most important steps in managing Obsessive Love Disorder. No contact means avoiding all encounters with the person.

It also means refraining from calling, texting, or emailing them. This step can be incredibly difficult, especially for those who feel that they cannot go on without their partner.

However, the importance of cutting ties cannot be overstated. Staying in contact with the person only prolongs your suffering and exacerbates your symptoms.

It allows you to hold onto false hope that things will change, making it impossible for you to move on. No contact gives you the space you need to heal and move on.

Distracting Techniques

Once you’ve cut ties with the person, you may find yourself feeling lost and unsure of what to do with your newfound freedom. This is where distracting techniques come in.

Finding new hobbies, hitting the gym, learning new things, or going out with friends can help you to take your mind off your ex-partner and focus on yourself. Distracting techniques are crucial in helping you to rebuild your sense of self and find your identity outside of the relationship.

They also provide a healthy outlet for your emotions and can help you to channel your energy in a positive way.


Psychotherapy is a form of talk therapy that helps individuals with emotional and psychological problems. It is one of the most effective treatments for Obsessive Love Disorder.

A therapist can help you to identify the underlying causes of your fixation and develop a plan to manage your symptoms. In psychotherapy, you’ll work with a therapist to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

You’ll learn coping mechanisms to manage your anxiety and depression and develop healthier ways of relating to others. Your therapist may also use techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy to help you change negative thought patterns and unhelpful behaviors.


In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage the symptoms of Obsessive Love Disorder. Your doctor may prescribe medication to help with anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions.

It’s important to note that medication alone is not a solution to Obsessive Love Disorder. It should be used in conjunction with other treatments, such as psychotherapy and distraction techniques, to achieve the best results.

Consulting a Doctor

Consulting a doctor is an important step in managing Obsessive Love Disorder. Your doctor can evaluate your symptoms and recommend the best course of treatment for you.

They may refer you to a therapist or psychiatrist who can help you manage your symptoms. It’s important to seek help as soon as possible if you’re struggling with Obsessive Love Disorder.

With the right treatment, you can learn to manage your symptoms and move on from your fixation. In conclusion, Obsessive Love Disorder is a complex condition that can be difficult to manage.

It’s important to recognize the signs of this disorder and seek help as soon as possible. Whether it’s through no contact, distracting techniques, psychotherapy, or medication, there are treatment options available that can help individuals with Obsessive Love Disorder learn to manage their symptoms and move on from their fixation.

If you or someone you know is struggling with Obsessive Love Disorder, don’t hesitate to seek help. Remember, it’s never too late to make a change and regain your sense of self.

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