Scorekeeping: The Deadly Mistake in Love and Relationships
Are you jaded and find yourself seeing every person as a potential enemy because of past experiences? Do you subconsciously hinder forward movement in your relationships with an insidious technique called scorekeeping?
It’s time to talk about this common stumbling block in relationships that could be keeping you from experiencing true love and fulfillment.
The Insidious Technique of Scorekeeping
Scorekeeping is a subconscious behavior where we keep track of every little thing our partner does for us – whether it’s buying us dinner or taking out the trash. When we feel that our partner isn’t doing enough, we keep score and use it against them.
This technique may seem harmless, but it’s actually hindering our forward movement in the relationship. By keeping score, we’re subconsciously assessing our partner’s worth, which leads to feelings of frustration and ultimately causes us to shut down emotionally.
Examples of Scorekeeping in Relationships
Are you keeping score in your relationship and you don’t even realize it? Here are some common signs of scorekeeping that may be leaving you upset:
- You get upset when your partner doesn’t do things for you that you’ve done for them in the past.
- You feel resentful when your partner has experienced success and you haven’t.
- You’re constantly pointing out what your partner has done wrong instead of focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship.
The Negative Effects of Scorekeeping
Scorekeeping is an unhealthy and self-sabotaging behavior that can lead to plenty of negative consequences. If you have been keeping score in your relationship, you may find that your relationship implodes or even explodes, causing even more resentments and distrust.
Overcoming Scorekeeping in Relationships
The first step to overcoming scorekeeping in your relationship is through communication. Talk to your partner about your feelings and explain how this behavior makes you feel.
A counselor or relationship coach like David Essel can help evaluate the issues in your relationship and provide a plan to help you succeed in having a positive relationship.
David Essel and His Expertise in Relationships
If you’re looking for guidance in your relationships, David Essel, a well-respected counselor and author, is here to help. With over 30 years of experience in personal growth and relationships, Essel has been endorsed by the likes of Wayne Dyer and Jenny McCarthy, and is known for his positive thinking movement.
David Essel’s Verification as an Expert
Essel has been featured in Psychology Today and Marriage.com as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the US. With his experience and expertise, Essel can offer crucial guidance to help you overcome scorekeeping and other obstacles in your relationship.
Working with David Essel
If you want to work with David Essel, he offers one-on-one counseling sessions in person or through Skype. With his guidance, you can tackle the negative behaviors in your relationship and move towards a positive, fulfilling partnership.
Bonus Video: Keys to Getting Over Resentment
Have you ever felt resentment towards someone, whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other?
Resentment can easily build up in relationships and create a distrust that can be hard to overcome. In this bonus video, we’ll explore the insights of Teal Swan and uncover the keys to overcoming resentment.
Teal Swan is known for her insightful perspectives on personal growth and spirituality.
In this video on resentment, she provides an in-depth look at how resentment can build up and damage our relationships. But, more importantly, she details how we can overcome resentment and rebuild our connections with a loved one.
Teal Swan’s Insights on Resentment
Teal Swan believes that releasing resentment is a key step to creating healthier relationships. In order to release resentment, we need to practice “instant conversion,” which is the art of immediately converting our negative feelings into something positive.
Swan shares her keys to overcoming resentment:
1. Understanding Our Emotions
The first step in overcoming resentment is to understand our emotions.
Where is this resentment coming from? Is it a fear, an unresolved issue, or something else entirely?
Identifying the root of the resentment can help us create a plan to move forward.
2. Forgiveness
Forgiving the person who we feel has wronged us can be difficult, but it’s a crucial step in releasing resentment. Forgiveness is not the same as condoning the behavior, it simply means that we’re choosing to let go of negative feelings and move forward.
3. Compassion
Compassion for both ourselves and the person we feel has wronged us can help us overcome resentment and rebuild trust.
By seeing things from the other person’s perspective and allowing ourselves grace, we can take steps towards a more positive relationship.
4. Focus on the Positive
Finally, one of the keys to overcoming resentment is to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. What brought us together in the first place?
What do we enjoy about each other? By focusing on the positive, we can release resentment and rebuild our relationships with a stronger foundation.
In conclusion, Teal Swan’s insights on resentment provide us with a powerful tool to overcome negative feelings towards others. By understanding our emotions, practicing forgiveness and compassion, and focusing on the positive, we can release resentment and rebuild our relationships with a stronger foundation.
So, next time you feel resentment towards someone, remember these keys and take steps towards healing your relationships. In conclusion, understanding the insidious technique of scorekeeping and seeking guidance from experts like David Essel can help you overcome negative behaviors and create positive, long-lasting relationships.
By being aware of our behavior, practicing forgiveness and compassion, and focusing on the positive aspects of our relationships, we can release resentment and rebuild our connections with loved ones. It’s time to take control of our negative behaviors and move towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
