The Mating Grounds

Break Free from Your Ex: 9 Practical Steps to Stop Obsessing and Move Forward

How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex

Breaking up is never easy, especially if you feel like you can’t get your ex out of your head. Whether you were together for years or just a few months, the feeling of loss and heartache can linger long after the breakup.

If you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex, you’re not alone. But it’s important to remember that you have the power to take control of your thoughts and emotions.

Here are some tips to help you stop thinking about your ex and move forward towards a brighter future.

Clear Out Your Environment

The first step towards moving on is to clear out any reminders of your ex. This might mean donating or tossing away any items that remind you of them.

A fresh start can be liberating and can help you mentally distance yourself from your previous relationship.

Tie Up Loose Ends

If you have any loose ends to tie up with your ex, it’s important to get them taken care of. Make concrete plans for returning any small items that belong to them, and make arrangements to close joint bank accounts or other entanglements.

Delete Your Ex from Social Media

One of the biggest temptations after a breakup is to cyber-stalk your ex on social media. This only prolongs the pain and keeps you stuck in a negative feedback loop.

The better choice is to unfriend, unfollow, or even delete your ex from your social media accounts altogether.

Talk About the Breakup Incessantly for 7 Days

It’s okay to wallow in your emotions for a short period after the breakup. Set aside seven days to talk about the breakup with friends and family, and let the floodgates open.

This emotional release can be cathartic and can help you process your feelings.

Put an End to All Discussion About Your Ex

Once the seven days are up, it’s time to announce to your loved ones that you’re done discussing your ex. Ask for their support in your decision to move on, and show them compassion if they bring up the topic.

Gently redirect the conversation towards new topics and interests.

Do a Little Ceremony

Symbolize the end of this chapter in your life with a small ceremony. This might include burning old photos or belongings, writing a goodbye letter, or planting something in your garden to represent your fresh start.

Get Yourself a Rubber Band and a Stop Sign

One of the most challenging things about breaking the cycle of negative thinking is that thoughts of your ex can pop into your head at any time. Keep a rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever these thoughts arise.

Visualize a stop sign in your mind and say “stop” out loud to yourself. This can help you stay centered and reboot your thought patterns.

Use the 3×5 Method for Stubborn Thought Patterns

If you find yourself stuck in a negative feedback loop, the 3×5 method can be helpful. Pull out a cue card and write down five things you can see, hear, smell, touch, or taste.

Focusing on your immediate environment can help you stay present in the moment and break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.


It’s important to remember that emotional maintenance is an ongoing process. Make time for recreation and self-care, and be gentle with yourself as you adjust to life without your ex.

If you need extra support, consider speaking with a therapist who can help you work through your feelings in a safe and supportive environment.

Negative Feedback Loop Obsessing Over an Ex

Obsessing over an ex can be all-consuming and emotionally draining. If you find yourself stuck in a negative feedback loop, there are steps you can take to break free.

Personal Experience with Obsession over Ex

When I went through a breakup, I found myself thinking obsessively about my ex. Everywhere I looked, I saw reminders of him – jokes we’d shared, places we’d been, things we’d bought together.

I was consumed by thoughts of what I’d lost and what I hoped we could have been.

Wish for Thoughts to Fade

The first step towards breaking the cycle of negative thinking is to acknowledge that these thoughts aren’t helpful or productive. It’s natural to wish that your thoughts would just fade away on their own, but unfortunately, it’s not that easy.

It takes time and effort to retrain your brain and break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

Everywhere are Reminders

It can feel like reminders of your ex are everywhere, making it impossible to move on. But it’s important to remember that these reminders have meaning only because we give them meaning.

Reframe your thinking and try to see these reminders as neutral objects without any emotional weight or significance.

Agony of Obsessive Thoughts

The agony of obsessive thoughts can feel all-consuming. But the truth is that these thoughts are not facts.

They are stories we tell ourselves based on our interpretations of past events. Try to separate the story from the actual events and focus on what’s happening in the present moment.

Game Plan to Get Rid of Obsession

To get rid of obsession once and for all, there are several steps you can take. First, recognize that obsessing isn’t helpful or healthy.

It’s time to make a solid resolve to stop doing it. Next, focus your energy on new beginnings and experiences.

Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to try or places you’ve always wanted to go, and start taking steps to make them a reality.

Final Thoughts

Breaking up is never easy, but it’s possible to move on with time and effort. Remember that you have the power to take control of your thoughts and emotions.

With a little self-care, support from loved ones, and a game plan for moving forward, you’ll be well on your way to a brighter, happier future. In conclusion, breaking up is undoubtedly difficult, but it’s crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and take steps towards moving forward.

Whether you’re struggling to stop thinking about your ex or caught in a negative feedback loop, there are practical and actionable steps you can take to break free. By clearing out your environment, tying up loose ends, deleting your ex from social media, and engaging in self-care practices, you can pave the way towards a fresh start.

Above all, remember to be kind and patient with yourself throughout the process. With time and effort, you’ll be on your way towards healing and a brighter future.

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