Why You Hold Back Your Feelings and How to Overcome It
Do you find it hard to express your feelings, even when you really want to? Maybe you’ve been hurt before, and now you’re afraid of being vulnerable.
Or perhaps you just feel incapable, unsure of how to articulate your emotions. Whatever your reasons for holding back, know that you’re not alone.
Many of us struggle to communicate our emotions effectively. But by understanding the underlying reasons for our reluctance, we can begin to break down those barriers and connect with others in deeper, more meaningful ways.
1. Traumatic Past Relationships: Heal Before Love
If you’ve been in toxic relationships in the past, it’s natural to fear opening up again. Maybe you were hurt, betrayed, or devalued by someone you trusted.
Maybe you’ve been abandoned, or you’ve had your heartbroken. All of these experiences can create emotional scars that make it hard to trust and love again.
But the real danger comes when these scars begin to define you, holding you back from moving forward. If you’re still holding on to the trauma from past relationships, it’s time to start healing.
That doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened, but it does mean you have to learn to let go and move on. Start by acknowledging your pain – it’s alright to cry, to grieve, to be angry.
But don’t let those negative emotions consume you. Seek help if you need it – whether it’s talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or confiding in a friend.
As you heal, you’ll begin to see that not everyone is the same. There are loving and trustworthy people out there, and you deserve to find someone who will treat you right.
2. Incapable: Believe You Can and You’re Halfway There
Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that you’re just not good at expressing your feelings. Maybe you feel like you lack the vocabulary or the emotional intelligence.
But the truth is, everyone is capable of communicating their emotions, to some extent. It just takes practice and self-reflection.
One way to start improving your emotional communication skills is to pay attention to your feelings. Take note of when you feel happy, sad, angry, or anxious.
Try to pinpoint the root cause of those feelings, whether it’s a specific event or person, or a general trend. Once you’ve identified your emotions, try to express them in a way that’s honest and clear.
Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and avoid blame or judgment. For example, instead of saying “You always make me angry,” try saying “I feel frustrated when this happens.” By taking ownership of your emotions, you’ll create a safer space for others to open up as well.
Another way to improve your emotional communication skills is to practice active listening. This means fully engaging with the person you’re talking to, paying attention to their body language and verbal cues, and asking open-ended questions.
Don’t interrupt or dismiss their feelings – instead, validate them by saying things like “I can understand why you would feel that way.” This will help build trust and create a more supportive environment for both of you.
Conclusion:
Whether you’ve been hurt in the past or you struggle with expressing your emotions, know that there are ways to break down those barriers.
By healing from past trauma and practicing active listening and communication skills, you can create deeper connections with others and live a more fulfilling life. Remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable – that’s how we grow and learn.
So the next time you feel the urge to hold back, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re capable of so much more. In conclusion, understanding the reasons for holding back our emotions, whether it’s due to traumatic past relationships or a sense of incapability, is the first step towards breaking down those barriers.
By healing from past trauma and practicing active listening and communication skills, we can create deeper connections with others and live a more fulfilling life. It’s important to embrace feelings of vulnerability, as they allow us to grow and learn.
So let’s start acknowledging our emotions and expressing them in healthy ways – we’re capable of so much more than we think!
