Breaking the Cycle of Ambivalent Attachment: Coping Strategies for a Healthier Relationship

Suffering and Healing

Understanding Ambivalent Attachment Style

Dealing with an ambivalent attachment style can be challenging, especially for those in a relationship, and it may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. It’s important to understand that this attachment style is deeply rooted in childhood experiences and can manifest in different ways in adulthood.

In this article, we’ll explore what ambivalent attachment style is, its origin, signs in partners, its harmful impact on relationships, and coping strategies to deal with it.

What is Ambivalent Attachment Style?

Ambivalent attachment style is a mixed attachment of love and anxious attachment. It is also known as dismissive avoidant attachment or insecure attachment style.

Origin of Ambivalent Attachment Style

Ambivalent attachment style originates from the human infancy stage, where connection with the primary caregiver plays an important role in developing emotional security. Secure babies receive consistent care and nurture, while ambivalently attached babies have an inconsistent, unpredictable caregiving relationship that causes emotional instability.

As teenagers, they become insecure and crave emotional support, and as young adults, they become ambivalent and clingy.

Signs of Ambivalent Attachment Style in Partners

If you have a partner with an ambivalent attachment style, you may notice that they display an “I don’t care” attitude at times, and at other times they may seek your attention and feel clingy. They may also struggle with small talk and avoid discussing their emotions, which can make communication challenging.

Furthermore, they might deny help when you offer it, and they may have an awkward parental relationship, causing frequent mood swings and feeling insecure. Additionally, their behavior can lead to unequal relationship dynamics, leading to a feeling of neglect.

Harmful Impact of Ambivalent Attachment Style on Relationships

An ambivalent attachment style can have a lot of harmful effects on a relationship, leading to emotional hunger and narcissism. They may ignore your needs and struggle with emotional instability, causing relationship baggage and depletion.

This can lead to toxic anxiety, emotional and psychological abuse, and relationship miseries and difficulties. Seeking professional help from a relationship counselor or psychologist can be useful in addressing these issues.

Coping with Ambivalent Attachment Style

Avoid Trying to Change Them

Trying to change your partner’s psychological patterns can be challenging and often lead to failure. Instead, focus on healing and recovery, establishing boundaries for yourself that allow you to maintain emotional peace.

Communication is Key

Communication is fundamental, especially for partners who have relationship baggage and depletion. It is important to have clear and honest conversations about your feelings, experiences, and goals.

Professional consultation can also help with emotional healing.

Keep Defense Mechanisms in Mind

It’s essential to understand that everyone has flaws, including yourself and your partner. Frank conversation about your character flaws while maintaining neutrality and emotional balance is essential.

Employing coping mechanisms in dealing with relationship flaws can help manage the situation.

Consider Breaking Up if Necessary

Sometimes, despite the best efforts of both partners, the relationship may become too toxic and unhealthy. If emotional abuse and toxic anxiety continue, it may be necessary to end the relationship.

This will provide a holiday detox to allow reflection and recovery.

Accept the Truth and Move On

It’s vital to accept that, even with love, some relationships are not viable. With a panel of experts or relationship counselors, you can receive a neutral perspective and mutual satisfaction.

Remember that everyone deserves happiness, happiness that’s of high-quality and fulfilling.


In conclusion, understanding the origin, signs, harmful impact, and coping strategies of ambivalent attachment style is critical to finding peace in relationships. Remember, healing and recovery start with recognizing the problem, deciding to act, and seeking help from professionals.

By employing these strategies, you can protect yourself, maintain a healthy relationship, and reduce the harm caused by ambivalent attachment style. In conclusion, understanding ambivalent attachment style is essential as it can have significant consequences on our relationships.

From its origin in the human infancy stage, we see how attachment with the primary caregiver can affect us in adulthood. It is important to recognize the signs of ambivalent attachment style in partners, such as introversion, small talk, and awkward parental relationships, as it can lead to emotional instability and relationship baggage.

Coping strategies for dealing with ambivalent attachment styles include communication, understanding defense mechanisms, and sometimes, accepting the truth and moving on. Ultimately, identifying and understanding ambivalent attachment style can lead to healthier and happier relationships.

Popular Posts

Sign up for free email updates: