How to Choose Between Two Lovers: A Guide to Making the Right Decision
Have you ever found yourself in the tricky situation of having to choose between two lovers? It’s not a pleasant experience and it can be difficult to know what to do.
However, with a little bit of thought and consideration, you can make the right decision that will lead to happiness and harmony in your love life. In this article, we’ll be exploring the criteria that you can use when you’re torn between two lovers and what to do when you find yourself in this situation.
Criteria to Use When You’re Torn Between Two Lovers
Age Difference
One of the first things to consider when choosing between two lovers is the age difference. While age is just a number, it can play a big role in a relationship, especially if there’s a significant age gap.
When considering the age difference between your two lovers, think about whether the difference would affect your compatibility. For example, if one lover is much older and has children, you might have to consider whether or not you’re ready to take on the role of step-parent.
Marriage and Children
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’ll need to consider whether each of your lovers wants the same thing. If one lover is looking for a committed relationship and the other is not, it’s likely that you’ll experience some turbulence down the line.
Additionally, if one lover wants children and the other doesn’t, you’ll need to decide which person’s desires align better with your own goals.
Religious & Political Viewpoints
Given the current political and social climate, it’s important to also consider whether your lovers share the same religious and political viewpoints as you.
While it’s not necessary for your partners to agree with you on everything, having similar values can lead to a smoother and more harmonious relationship.
Introvert vs. Extrovert
Another critical aspect of a relationship to think about when choosing between two lovers is your personality differences. Are you outgoing while one of your lovers is more reserved or introverted?
If so, you might find it challenging to adjust to their way of socializing. On the other hand, if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who’s the opposite of you, you might also find that it brings balance to your relationship.
What to Do When You’re Torn Between Two Lovers
Get to Know Each Deeper
If you’re still struggling to choose between two lovers, try to get to know them both better. Spending more time with both of them will allow you to learn more about their personalities, goals, and values.
This information can help you identify whether either lover is more compatible with you than the other.
Think About Your Future
Thinking about your future is another effective way to weigh the pros and cons of each lover. Ask yourself questions like, “What do I want from a long-term relationship? “, “Do either of my lovers share these goals? “, and “Who would make a better partner for the next stage of my life?” Reflecting on these questions will allow you to evaluate which of your lovers is better suited for your future goals.
Take Physical Attraction Out of the Equation
While physical attraction is important, it’s important to take it out of the equation when choosing between two lovers. Instead of focusing solely on your physical attraction to each person, reflect on the other aspects of your relationship.
Is there a deep emotional connection with one lover that is missing with the other?
Notice Your Personality Around Each
Another tip is to notice how your personality changes when you’re around each lover. Do you feel more comfortable and relaxed around one lover than the other?
If one lover brings out the best in you, that might be a sign that they’re the better choice.
Think About the Dynamic of Each Relationship
Another way to evaluate your relationships is by examining the dynamic of each relationship. Do you feel like your connection with one lover is strong and effortless, while the other never seems to be quite as comfortable?
The dynamic between two people can play a huge role in the success of a relationship, so it’s essential to consider it when weighing your options.
Seek Help from Friends
Sometimes, it’s helpful to get an outside perspective to help you make decisions. Talk to your friends and get their opinion on which lover seems to be a better fit for you.
Your friends know you well, and their insights might prove valuable.
Decide Whose Lifestyle Is the Most Similar to Yours
If you’re struggling to choose between two lovers, evaluate whose lifestyle is the most similar to yours. Do you share similar hobbies and interests with one lover that you don’t with the other?
If so, that might be an indication that they’re a better match for you.
Think About Your Family Too
Another thing to consider when deciding between two lovers is your family. Do your parents and family members like one lover more than the other?
While you don’t want to live your life according to your family’s approval, their opinion may be meaningful.
Discuss Morals and Values
Lastly, it’s essential to have a conversation about your morals and values with each lover. Discuss issues like faith, politics, and social justice.
If you find that your values align better with one lover, that might be a sign that they’re the more compatible partner.
Do You Feel Like You’re Cheating on One of Them More Than the Other?
If you’re still caught up in your head about which lover to choose, ask yourself if you feel like you’re cheating on one lover more than the other. While it’s never okay to cheat, if you feel like you’re betraying one lover more than the other, it might be your subconscious trying to tell you something.
Assess How You Feel Before Seeing Each
Lastly, before making any final decisions, assess how you feel before seeing each lover. Are you more excited to see one lover over the other?
If so, that might be a sign that they hold a special place in your heart.
Flip a Coin
If all else fails, try flipping a coin. It might seem like an unconventional decision-making technique, but sometimes leaving things to chance can provide the clarity you need to make a decision.
Closing Thoughts
Choosing between two lovers is a challenging situation. However, if you consider the criteria we’ve mentioned above, you’ll be able to make an informed decision that will lead to happiness and fulfillment in your love life.
Remember to take your time and listen to your heart. Good luck!
