Crushing While Married: How to Navigate Attraction and Stay Committed


Dealing with Crushes While Married

Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone who isn’t your spouse? It’s actually quite normal to experience feelings of attraction towards someone who is not your committed partner.

We are human beings, and we’re wired to be attracted to other people from time to time. But what do you do when you find yourself having a crush while married?

Natural Attraction to Others

It’s important to recognize that natural attraction to others while in a committed relationship is normal. We may find someone’s appearance, personality, or traits attractive, and that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t love our significant other.

Commonality of Developing Crushes While Married

It’s more common than you think to develop crushes while you’re married. It might be someone you work with or a stranger you saw at the coffee shop.

These feelings of attraction can be a little bit unsettling, especially if you’re happy in your marriage. But remember, it’s a normal part of human nature.

Reasons for Developing Crushes

There are several reasons why we might develop a crush while we’re married. It’s possible that we find the person’s personality amusing and love spending time with them.

Sometimes we might feel like our emotional needs are not being met at home, which leads us to start outsourcing our happiness. In other instances, we may find a person’s physical appearance alluring, which can be difficult to resist.

Managing Attraction While Married

So what can you do to manage your feelings of attraction while in a committed relationship? Here are some tips to help you out.

Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings

The first step to managing your feelings of attraction is to acknowledge and accept them. It’s normal and perfectly okay to feel attracted to someone other than your spouse.

Instead of denying or ignoring your emotions, accept them as a normal part of being human.

Set Boundaries

It’s essential to set boundaries when you’re feeling attracted to someone while married. This could mean spending less time with the person or creating a safe space where you won’t be tempted to act on your feelings.

Practice self-control and distance yourself from the person to avoid any temptation.

Understand Your Feelings

Take some time to reflect on your feelings. What is it about this person that attracts you?

Is it their personality, their looks, or something else? Try to gain an understanding of your feelings to determine why you’re drawn to this person.

Work on Your Marriage

It’s essential to work on your marriage if you’re feeling like your needs are not being met. This could mean having open dialogue with your partner, seeking counseling, or recommitting to each other.

Small changes can go a long way in maintaining a healthy and happy marriage.

Seek Support

If you’re feeling conflicted or confused about your feelings, seeking support from a trained counselor may be helpful. A non-judgmental and objective advice may help you sort out your feelings and navigate through them.

Practice Self-Care

Take care of your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. This could mean engaging in hobbies, meditating, or finding clarity in the situation.

Practicing self-care will give you the strength and clarity you need to make the right decisions for yourself and your marriage.

Be Patient

Remember, conflicting emotions can be challenging to navigate. Give yourself time to sort through your feelings, and don’t rush into any decisions.

Be patient with yourself and your emotions.


In conclusion, it’s natural to feel attracted to someone else while in a committed relationship. Developing a crush doesn’t mean that you don’t love your spouse.

It’s essential to acknowledge and accept your feelings, set boundaries, and practice self-control. Understanding why you’re attracted to another person is key to keeping your feelings in check.

Remember to prioritize your marriage, seek support if needed, and practice self-care. With patience, you can navigate through your emotions and make the best decisions for yourself and your marriage.

Normalizing Attraction While Married

Attraction while married can be a difficult topic to navigate. It’s essential to understand that experiencing feelings of attraction while married is a natural part of being human.

In this section, we’ll explore ways to normalize attraction while married and maintain a fulfilling, healthy relationship.

Treating Feelings with Kindness

Treating yourself with self-compassion and non-judgmental awareness is key in normalizing attraction while married. Instead of shaming ourselves for having feelings of attraction, it’s important to address these feelings with kindness.

Recognize that it’s normal to feel attracted to someone else and don’t judge yourself for these feelings.

Maintaining a Fulfilling Marriage

Marriage is a long-lasting commitment that takes effort to be fulfilling. Instead of solely focusing on the attraction to someone outside of your marriage, it’s crucial to take the time and effort to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner.

This could mean nurturing emotional and physical intimacy or prioritizing quality time together.

Avoiding Impulsive Actions

When experiencing feelings of attraction, it’s essential to practice self-control and restraint. Avoid impulsive actions that could risk compromising your marriage.

Instead, take a step back and reflect on what feelings are driving your behavior before acting on them. Keeping emotional balance and a clear mind is vital in making sound decisions.

Keeping Diverse Sources of Happiness

It’s essential to keep multiple sources of happiness in your life, including within your marriage. Seek healthy crushes that bring joy and inspiration to your life.

Having positive relationships with friends and family, pursuing hobbies and interests, and exploring new experiences can all contribute to a fulfilling and happy life.


Experiencing feelings of attraction while in a committed relationship is a common occurrence. Overcoming feelings of guilt and questioning your marriage is often an emotionally exhausting experience.

It’s essential to recognize that these feelings are normal and that you’re not alone. Rather than feeling shameful or guilty, make an effort to understand natural attraction and the effort it takes to make a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

Practice self-compassion, avoid impulsive actions, and nurture a healthy marriage while keeping diverse sources of happiness in your life. Remember, it’s normal to feel attracted to other people from time to time, but it’s how you respond to those feelings that impact the health of your relationship.

Take the time to reflect on what you want and need out of your life and marriage and make choices that align with those goals. In conclusion, normalizing attraction while married involves treating yourself kindly, maintaining a fulfilling marriage, avoiding impulsive actions, and keeping diverse sources of happiness.

It’s important to remember that experiencing feelings of attraction outside of your marriage is normal and not something to feel ashamed or guilty about. Understanding natural attraction and taking the time and effort to create a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship can keep your relationship healthy and strong.

Remember to practice self-compassion, seek support when necessary, and prioritize taking care of yourself and your marriage. By doing so, you can navigate through your emotions and make the best decisions for yourself and your relationship’s future.

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