Jealous In-laws: How to Deal with Them
Welcome to the world of relationships – dynamic, complex, and ever-evolving. The institution of marriage opens the doors to a new family, a new home, a new way of life.
But that also includes dealing with in-laws, especially the infamous mother-in-law. While not all mothers-in-law are cut from the same cloth, it is essential to understand how to navigate tricky situations if and when things get rocky.
Jealousy in Mothers-in-law
You may have found that your mother-in-law sometimes appears jealous of you or your relationship with her child. While it may seem baffling and unreasonable, it’s essential to understand that there may be reasons for her insecurity.
Causes of jealousy in mothers-in-law can range from a feeling of intimidation, a sense of being left out, lack of familiarity, or merely wanting more attention. Jealousy can manifest itself in many ways and be seen in the signs of a jealous mother-in-law.
Signs of a Jealous Mother-in-law
Signs of a Jealous Mother-in-Law
- A two-faced attitude
- Quick to criticize
- Display thankless behavior
- Hold grudges against you or your spouse
- Compare you to the spouse’s ex
- Attempt to take over her husband’s life by tending to his every need
- Become excessively attention-seeking
- Badmouthing you to others
- Interfering in your marriage by tossing unwanted advice around
- Lack of respect for boundaries
- Passive-aggressive
- Continuously meddle in your life
- Exclude you from family events
This behavior can be frustrating to deal with and may leave you feeling helpless.
Dealing with Jealous Mother-in-laws
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about how to approach situations with your mother-in-law, take comfort in knowing that there are ways to handle the situation with compassion and empathy.
Communication
Effective communication lies at the core of any healthy relationship. You and your spouse can open up the channels of communication by setting aside time to talk things out.
Be confident when discussing how her behavior affects you, but also be open to hearing her side of the story. Try and find common ground and reach for a respectful outcome that works for all parties involved.
Empathy
It’s okay to disagree, but it’s important to put yourself in your mother-in-law’s shoes. Understand that she may be going through a difficult time, feeling insecure, or dealing with her fears.
Taking the time to empathize and see things from her perspective could help you approach her with a more compassionate tone.
Helping Her Transition
Understand that it’s a big change for your mother-in-law too. Help her transition by including her when you can and seeking advice from her when appropriate.
Ensure she feels needed and not left out.
Giving Gifts
If you feel like she’s insecure about her relationship with you or her child, a gift could help put her mind at ease. It doesn’t have to be grand, but it shows your appreciation.
Maybe a box of her favorite chocolates or a bouquet of flowers could help ease the situation.
Offering a Helping Hand
Show her kindness by offering help when she needs it. This could be as simple as helping her carry her groceries from the car or assisting her with any home repairs.
Taking an Interest in Her Life
Taking an interest in her life can show her that you care about your relationship with her. Maybe ask get-to-know-you questions about her upbringing, her parenting methods, or her interests.
Complimenting Her
It’s always nice to be complimented, and compliments could go a long way in easing tensions. Find something positive to say about her, such as her talents or qualities.
Making Time to See Her
Set aside time to see her and offer her the respect she deserves. However, remember that scheduling visits allows you to make your own moments with family rather than leaving it up to her to impose.
Avoiding Conflict
Avoid taking an aggressive or confrontational approach and be patient in dealing with her. By being peaceable, you can avoid worsening the tension.
Talking to Your Partner
Don’t hesitate to talk to your partner if you’re feeling strained about the situation. Seek support from your spouse and find ways to work together to approach the situation with a unified and respectful approach.
Creating Healthy Boundaries
Establish some healthy boundaries for yourself and your mother-in-law. This could mean setting limits on how often she can visit or asking that she not interfere in your life.
Ignoring Bad Behavior
Don’t engage her bad behavior; instead, maintain a sense of calm when dealing with her. By ignoring bad behavior, you can deprive her of what she craves most – attention.
Scheduling Playtime with Children
Grandchildren can be a bridge builder between the two. Arrange playdates with your kids to give her quality time with them; it may be just what she needs to ease tensions.
Speaking Up When Enough is Enough
Lastly, if you feel like enough is enough, it’s vital to stand up for yourself and refuse to be disrespected. Speak respectfully and draw the line with assertiveness.
Moving Away
If the situation continues to be too much to bear, you may have to consider cutting ties with her and maintaining your well-being.
In Conclusion
Every relationship comes with its own set of complexities, and dealing with mother-in-law jealousy is just one of them. With patience, empathy, and a willingness to communicate, you can work towards resolving the situation respectfully.
Remember that a healthy relationship takes effort, and it’s all about finding the right balance. In conclusion, dealing with a jealous mother-in-law can be challenging, but it’s not impossible if you approach the situation with kindness and empathy.
By striving for effective communication, showing respect, and creating healthy boundaries, you can work towards a more harmonious relationship. Remember that while it may take effort, a healthy relationship with your mother-in-law is possible, and it’s worth pursuing.
So, take a deep breath, use the tips mentioned in this article, and stay focused on maintaining a respectful relationship that benefits everyone involved.
