May December Relationships: Defying Societal Norms
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone much older or younger than you? If so, you’ve likely faced societal judgments based on your age difference.
The truth is, age is just a number, and love knows no bounds. In this article, we will explore the ins and outs of May December relationships and why they can be successful and fulfilling.
Definition of May December Relationships
The term “May December” refers to a romantic relationship where one partner is significantly older than the other. Typically, the older partner is referred to as the May, while the younger partner is the December.
While this type of relationship can occur between any genders, it is commonly used to describe an older man with a younger woman. However, there are also May December relationships where the older partner is a woman, commonly referred to as a cougar, and the younger partner is a man.
Societal Taboos and Stereotypes Associated with May December Relationships
May December relationships face a lot of negativity from society due to deeply ingrained stereotypes. The younger partner is often labeled as a gold digger, while the older partner is seen as a cradle robber.
People may assume that the younger partner has daddy issues and is looking for someone to provide for them. Meanwhile, the older partner may be labeled as having a midlife crisis.
It’s important to recognize that these stereotypes are damaging and not necessarily true. May December relationships can be based on a genuine connection between two people, just like any other relationship.
Age should not define the success or failure of a relationship.
Success and Benefits of May December Relationships
May December relationships can be successful and fulfilling for both partners. Here are some reasons why:
Reasons for Success
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Commitment: May December relationships tend to be more committed than relationships between two people in the same age range. Both partners are generally more serious about the relationship and are less likely to play games or engage in casual dating.
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Intimacy: May December relationships can bring a deeper level of intimacy due to the emotional maturity of the older partner. They have learned through years of experience what is important in a relationship, and they are more likely to prioritize emotional connection over physical attraction.
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Emotional Maturity: The older partner in a May December relationship is likely more emotionally mature, which can bring stability and security to the relationship.
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Honesty: May December relationships tend to be more honest and upfront, as both partners are established and confident in who they are and what they want.
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Confidence: The older partner in a May December relationship is more established in their life, which can bring a level of confidence to the relationship. They have been through struggles and challenges, which can give them a sense of acceptance and comfort in who they are.
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Finances: The older partner is often more financially stable and can provide financial support to the younger partner if needed. However, this is not always the case, and many May December relationships are based on an equal partnership.
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Travel: May December relationships can bring opportunities for travel and adventure, as the older partner is often more established in their career and has more time and resources to devote to travel.
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Sex Life: May December relationships can bring a boost to the sex life of both partners, as they are often more open-minded and willing to try new things.
Pros of May December Relationships
May December relationships have numerous pros that are often overlooked due to societal judgments. Here are some reasons why May December relationships can be a positive experience for both partners:
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Less Drama: In a May December relationship, both partners are likely in different life stages and can provide support and emotional comfort to each other without the self-absorption or drama that may arise with couples in the same age range.
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Less Self-Absorption: May December relationships often focus on inner beauty and compatibility rather than solely on physical appearance.
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No Games: Established partners are less likely to play games with each other and are more upfront with their intentions and feelings.
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Confidence: Older partners can provide acceptance and comfort to their younger partners, encouraging them to be themselves and increasing their sense of confidence.
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Finances: May December relationships can offer financial stability and support from the older partner.
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Honesty: May December relationships are often based on open communication and emotional maturity, which can lead to a more successful and honest relationship.
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Early Communication: Discussing societal disapproval and potential challenges in advance can help the couple address these issues as they arise.
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Travel: May December relationships provide an opportunity for travel and adventure, which can add excitement and new experiences to the relationship.
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It can keep you young: Being in a May December relationship can bring out your inner child and provide a sense of energy and fun.
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Less Jealousy: Trust and independence are often emphasized in May December relationships, which can lead to less jealousy and mistrust between partners.
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Defense: Motivation and commitment to the relationship can be heightened due to societal disapproval.
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Feeling Needed: Both partners can learn from each other and provide new experiences in the relationship, resulting in a sense of feeling needed and valued.
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Sex Life: May December relationships can bring excitement and new experiences to the sex life of both partners, leading to increased pleasure and satisfaction.
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Boost in Confidence: May December relationships can increase self-esteem and pride in both partners, leading to a more positive outlook on life.
May December Relationships: The Cons You Need to Consider
While May December relationships can be successful and fulfilling, it’s important to consider the potential downsides before entering into this type of relationship. Here are some cons to keep in mind:
Potential Challenges
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Different Memories: One of the challenges of a May December relationship is the generational difference between partners. The older partner may have memories and interests that the younger partner cannot relate to. For example, the older partner may have nostalgia for a time before cell phones and social media, while the younger partner grew up in a digital age where these things are commonplace. While shared interests can bridge this gap, it can still lead to difficulties in understanding each other’s past experiences and perspectives.
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Different Sex Drives: As partners age, their sex drives can vary due to age-related factors such as declining hormones. This can lead to difficulties in the bedroom if one partner wants sex more often than the other. It’s important for partners to communicate their needs and preferences and work together to find a solution that works for both of them.
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Energy Levels: Different energy levels can also be a challenge in a May December relationship. The older partner may prefer quieter, more leisurely activities, while the younger partner may be more interested in physical activities and adventure. This can lead to conflict if the partners are unable to compromise on their leisure preferences.
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Different Stages of Life: May December relationships can also bring differences in life goals and priorities. The older partner may be more established in their career and have already started a family, while the younger partner may still be focused on building their own career and may not be ready for children. This can cause tension if the partners have different ideas about where they want their future to go.
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Children or Grown Children: Children can be a complicating factor in May December relationships. The older partner may already have children from a previous relationship, which can bring challenges to step-parenting and blended families. The younger partner may struggle with instant family dynamics and may feel awkward about their role in parenting or grandparenting.
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Different World Views: May December relationships can also bring differences in world views and political beliefs. The partners may come from different backgrounds, religions, or cultures, which can lead to difficulties in understanding each other’s perspectives. While these differences can be a source of growth and learning, they can also cause tension if the partners are unable to respect each other’s beliefs.
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What About the Future? : Finally, May December relationships bring questions about the future. The older partner may be facing aging and health issues, which can cause concerns about caretaking and potential decline. The younger partner may face regret about not being able to have more time with the older partner, or they may need to consider taking on a caretaking role earlier in their relationship than they anticipated.
Conclusion
May December relationships should not be judged based on age alone. Love knows no boundaries, and these types of relationships can be successful and fulfilling for both partners.
While there may be societal taboos and stereotypes that come with May December relationships, it’s important to focus on the benefits and positive aspects of the relationship. At the end of the day, what matters most is the connection between two people, regardless of their age difference.
It’s essential to consider the cons of May December relationships, such as differences in memory, sex drive, energy levels, life stages, children, world views, and future plans. By being aware of these potential pitfalls and having open and honest communication, partners can navigate these challenges and build meaningful and fulfilling relationships across generational gaps.
Ultimately, what matters most is the connection between two people, regardless of their age difference.