Always Something Better Syndrome: Understanding and Overcoming It
Have you ever been in a long-term relationship with someone you truly cared for, only to suddenly pull away without any explanation? Or have you found yourself constantly swiping through social media and dating apps, always looking for something better than what you currently have?
If so, you may be suffering from ASBS, or Always Something Better Syndrome. ASBS is a real thing and has become more prevalent in today’s society with the rise of technology.
Social media and dating apps allow us to have immediate access to potential partners and an endless pool of choices. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking there is always something better out there, just a swipe away.
Why Do We Pull Away?
But why do we pull away from relationships when they seem to be going well? Fear of commitment is a common factor.
Many people hate the idea of being tied down and prefer to keep their options open, even if they genuinely care for the person they are with. ASBS feeds into this fear by making us think that there is always someone better out there, just waiting for us.
It’s also common for “players” and “hunters” to exhibit symptoms of ASBS. These individuals are always looking for the next conquest and thrive on the thrill of the chase.
They may pull away from a relationship once they feel like they have “caught” their partner or if they believe someone else may be more challenging to pursue. Additionally, past experiences of being hurt or betrayed in a relationship can cause someone to exhibit ASBS.
The fear of getting hurt again can cause individuals to pull away from someone they care for, convinced that they are better off alone. If you find yourself struggling with ASBS, there are steps you can take to break the cycle.
Steps to Overcome ASBS
-
Learn From Your Past Relationships
Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and what you could have done differently.
Use this knowledge to make better choices in the future. It’s also essential to recognize that relationships are not limited.
Just because you are committed to one person doesn’t mean that you can’t have fulfilling friendships and other connections.
-
Make Realistic Expectations
Make realistic expectations for your relationship and allow room for growth and change.
-
Overcome Your Fears
Be vulnerable with your partner and allow yourself to be open to new experiences.
-
Prioritize Clarity and Communication
Be clear about your intentions and expectations for the relationship.
-
Believe in True Love
Most importantly, believe in true, everlasting love. Aim for excellence, not perfection.
Recognize that everyone has flaws and that a healthy relationship requires work and effort from both parties. Don’t let the fear of ASBS keep you from experiencing the joy and fulfillment of a meaningful relationship.
Dating Someone With ASBS
Dating can be a daunting task, especially when you’ve met someone who you think is right for you, but you suspect that they may have Always Something Better Syndrome. ASBS can make a relationship frustrating, confusing, and painful.
In this section, we’ll look at some signs of ASBS and how best to handle it if you’re dating someone who exhibits these symptoms.
Signs of ASBS
- They are not ready to commit.
- They’re playing the field.
- They only want superficial conversations.
- They may be a man who likes to chase.
How to Handle Dating Someone With ASBS
-
Focus on Personal Growth
While you can’t control someone else’s behavior, you can control your own. Rather than dwelling on whether they have ASBS, take this opportunity to focus on growing as a person. This could mean practicing self-care, pursuing your hobbies, or taking classes to improve your skills.
One of the best things about focusing on personal growth is that you develop a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence, which can attract the right kind of partner.
-
Learn from Experience
Every relationship, even ones that don’t work out, can be a learning experience. Reflect on what you learned from this relationship and what you can do differently in the future if you encounter someone with ASBS. By taking a growth mindset approach, you can turn a disappointing experience into a valuable lesson.
-
Trust the Process
Remember that relationships take time, and it’s normal to go through ups and downs along the way. Just because someone has ASBS doesn’t mean that every relationship with them is doomed to fail. Take things slowly, communicate openly, and trust the process. It may take time, but you will eventually know whether or not the relationship is worth continuing.
-
You Are Worthy
It’s essential to recognize that you are worthy and valuable, regardless of whether or not the person you’re dating has ASBS. Don’t let their actions or behavior make you question your self-worth. If you believe that you deserve a healthy, loving relationship, then that’s what you should aim for.
-
Communicate Your Needs
If you think that the person you’re dating has ASBS, it’s important to communicate your needs and expectations clearly. If you’re looking for a committed, long-term relationship, then make sure they know that. If they’re not on the same page, then it’s better to find out early on rather than wasting your time on someone who doesn’t share your goals.
In conclusion, dating someone with ASBS can be tough. It’s important to recognize the signs and to take a growth-oriented approach rather than blaming yourself or the other person. Remember to focus on personal growth, learn from experience, trust the process, recognize your worth, and communicate your needs clearly. With these tips, you can navigate the situation better and make the best choices for yourself.
In conclusion, understanding and addressing Always Something Better Syndrome (ASBS) can be a game-changer in improving our relationships, personal growth, and happiness. It’s essential to recognize the causes of ASBS, such as fear of commitment, past experiences of being hurt or betrayed, or the thrill of the chase, so we can take steps to prevent or overcome them. By focusing on personal growth, learning from experience, trusting the process, recognizing our worth, and communicating our needs clearly, we can break free from the trap of ASBS and establish healthy, fulfilling relationships. Remember, relationships are not limited, and we all deserve true and everlasting love.
