Extra Marital Affairs – The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Have you ever been caught up in the pull of an extra marital affair? Maybe you’ve been tempted to have one but aren’t sure if it’s worth the risks.
Whatever your situation, it’s important to understand why these relationships come to an end, and to be realistic about their lifespan.
Flaky Reasons for Ending Affairs
Let’s get the no-brainer reason out of the way: getting caught. If a married person’s spouse discovers the affair, it’s usually curtains for the relationship.
But what about when there isn’t a dramatic confrontation or ultimatum, and the affair simply fizzles out? Some of the most bizarre reasons for the end of affairs include the Indian loo (apparently, the sight of an Indian-style toilet can turn off a lover), a botched bikini wax, and a disagreement over the hotel room bill.
Other reasons include wanting to spend more time with family, older guy issues, and even the fear of using an Indian toilet. But let’s face it, the most ridiculous reason has to be the exchange of nudes leading to the discovery that the lover is actually bisexual.
Limited Lifespan of Affairs
Even if an affair isn’t ended by a flaky excuse, its days are numbered. Studies show that extra marital affairs have a limited life span, with some lasting only a few weeks or months.
Experts say that affairs are often sought during midlife crisis or to relieve stress or pain in life. But once the allure wanes and the same routine sets in, both parties tend to realize that the thrill is gone.
Importance of Lust and Orgasm in Affairs
Some people say that the reason extra marital affairs fail is that the lust and passion that fueled the relationship couldn’t sustain it. And it’s true that lust and orgasm play a central role in these types of relationships.
But what happens when that side of things isn’t enough? Part of the issue may be that some people fake orgasm during affairs, which can leave their partners feeling unfulfilled.
Others simply can’t maintain the level of passion needed to make the affair work. Whatever the reason, it’s important to understand that lust and orgasm can only go so far in keeping a relationship alive.
Overrating Permanency in Relationships
People can get caught up in the idea that their extra marital lover will become a lifelong partner. But is that realistic?
While there are some cases of couples who have been together for decades as a result of an affair, they are few and far between. The truth is that most affairs have a limited lifespan.
The moment of goodbye has to come sooner or later, and often it’s just a matter of who pulls the trigger first. The idea of a lover as just a lover is one that is hard for many to accept, but it’s one that should be embraced.
Rare Lifelong Affairs
But, it’s important to acknowledge that there are cases where affairs do last a lifetime. While they may be rare, they do exist.
In these cases, the couple remains committed to one another, even in the face of social ostracization and disapproval. It’s a testament to the strength of their bond and their willingness to face adversity together.
In conclusion, extra marital affairs can be exciting and alluring, but it’s important to be realistic about their lifespan and limitations. Flaky reasons for ending affairs may seem humorous, but they highlight the fleeting nature of these relationships.
The importance of lust and orgasm shouldn’t be underestimated but it shouldn’t be expected to sustain an affair in the long run. Furthermore, the idea of permanent lovers is unrealistic, but lifelong affairs do exist.
Remember, the end of an affair doesn’t have to be a sad one, but can be seen as a learning experience and time to move on to better things. Affair Endings: Why They Start vs.
Why They End
Affairs are complicated, and the reasons for starting one are often very different from the reasons for ending one. Some people enter into affairs because they feel neglected or unappreciated in their primary relationship, while others seek a temporary escape from the monotony of their daily lives.
But what ultimately causes these relationships to come to an end? Reasons for Starting an Affair vs.
Reasons for Ending an Affair
People have many reasons for starting an affair. Sometimes they just crave a physical connection, while others want to feel desired or escape the stresses of their everyday life.
For some, an affair is a way to feel validated emotionally or to find a partner who shares their interests and values. On the other hand, the reasons for ending an affair are often more complex.
Some people find that the obstacles and stress are too much to handle, and they want to end things before things get worse. Others feel guilty about lying to their primary partner or hiding the affair from their loved ones.
Some people simply fall out of love with their affair partner, and the excitement and novelty of the relationship fades away. In many cases, affairs end because one party gets too attached and begins to demand more from the relationship than the other is willing to give.
The affair may have started as a casual fling, but as time goes on, feelings may become more intense. The person who is less invested in the relationship may start to feel suffocated, and ultimately end things to avoid any further pain or complications.
Affair Aftermath: Cleaning Debris and Moving On
Regardless of the reasons for an affair’s end, the aftermath can be a painful and confusing time. For someone who entered into an affair hoping for happiness and excitement, the reality of ending it can feel overwhelming.
There are various things to consider, such as what to do about telling or hiding the affair from the spouse, how to cope with the guilt or remorse, and how to distance oneself from the affair partner physically and emotionally. When it comes to moving on, it can help to take stock of what was lost in the primary relationship and identify what needs to change in order to rebuild it.
This often requires a willingness to confront difficult truths and work together with one’s partner to heal the relationship. This may involve therapy, open communication, or setting new boundaries.
It requires patience, a willingness to forgive, and a commitment to honesty and transparency in the future.
Affair Ending Badly
Unfortunately, not all affairs end well. Sometimes one partner can become abusive or controlling, or may threaten to expose the affair to ruin the other’s life.
In other cases, one person may profess undying love and refuse to accept the reality of the situation, making it difficult for the other to move on cleanly. Affairs never end well, per se.
They often leave a trail of broken hearts and hurt feelings in their wake, and the reality is that no one comes out unscathed. It is important, however, to remember that in most cases, the affair was built on deception and falsehood, and it is therefore crucial to be honest and upfront with oneself and with others when it comes to dealing with the aftermath.
In conclusion, affairs are complex relationships that have many reasons for starting and ending. When an affair does come to an end, it can be a difficult and confusing time, especially if it ends badly.
Nevertheless, it is essential to remember that in most cases, ending an affair is the right thing to do, and that it is possible to move forward and rebuild one’s primary relationship, or to move on and create a new, healthier relationship in the future. Insight on Affair Dynamics: Passion, Routine, Family Time, and Risk
Affairs are a high-risk relationship and require careful management and understanding.
What are some dynamics and considerations one should take into account when engaging in an affair?
Passion vs Routine
One of the most appealing aspects of an affair is the passion and excitement it brings. People often enter into an affair to escape the monotony and routine of their primary relationship.
However, after some time, the excitement tends to wane, and the affair may become routinized. This presents a challenge for those in affairs to balance the need for passion with the need for routine.
One way to address this challenge is to be creative and attempt to keep the affair fresh by trying new things. This could be as simple as exploring new restaurants or taking a weekend getaway.
The key is to keep the excitement burning while introducing some routine and stability into the relationship.
Understanding Family Time
Many people in affairs, especially those who are married, often struggle with balancing their family time commitments with their affair. This balancing act can be tough, especially on weekends, which tend to be family time.
One way to address this challenge is for the affair parties to agree to focus on weekdays. A realistic agreement could be to meet later at night after the family is asleep, or during work hours while the other spouse is busy.
This approach allows both parties to have a good measure of the time they need to spend with their families, while at the same time, giving them the opportunity to continue with their affair.
Fear of Exposure and Risk
Any time a person engages in an affair; they expose themselves to the risk of exposure under duress. Although few affairs are exposed, those that are can have adverse impacts.
Exposure could cause significant harm to all involved parties, with significant damage to reputations, relationships, and careers. One way to mitigate this risk is to maintain a low profile and avoid leaving any evidence that could lead to discovery.
Affair parties should also understand that communications about their affair should be done carefully, avoiding technology that could leave a trail. This catch-22 situation requires a careful balance of nurturing one’s needs but doing so with the utmost discretion.
Miscellaneous Reasons for Affair Endings
Affairs end for many reasons, and it’s essential to be aware of those reasons to avoid future mistakes. Here are more reasons that contribute to the ending of affairs:
Importance of Comfort in Primary Relationships
When the affair partner realizes that they are more comfortable around their spouse and have less pain, the pull towards the affair weakens. This is not to say that everything will be perfect, but functional relationships tend to have a sense of comfort and stability absent from affairs.
Financial Discrepancies
The value of money is another factor that plays a crucial role in the longevity of an affair.
For example, trying to maintain a relationship that involves five-star hotels and extravagant dinners is harder than sustaining one that involves shady motels and less costly restaurants.
Sexual Preferences
Another significant factor that can contribute to the end of an affair is the discovery of undisclosed sexual preferences. For example, if one partner is discovered to be bisexual, it’s likely that affair will come to an end as those revelations can create unforeseen complications.
Similarly, involving the spouse in the affair, whether willingly or unwillingly, can prove challenging to the continuation of the relationship.
Unwanted Involvement of Third Parties
Third parties who are not involved in the affair can sometimes imply that the affair is unfair or illegal. An example is the mother of the girl, who may see the affair partner as a threat to her son/daughter.
This may lead to confrontations and even ultimatums that may, in turn, cause the affair to come to an end. In conclusion, affairs are complex relationships that demand a careful balancing act to maintain.
An affair needs to embrace the excitement and passion that comes with it, but the involved parties need to understand the balancing act involved. Additionally, the fear of exposure and the real risk it presents needs to be kept in mind.
Finally, understanding the reasons that contribute to the ending of an affair is crucial because it can help affair parties mitigate those factors and avoid making the same mistake in the future. In conclusion, extra marital affairs are complicated relationships that have many reasons for beginning and ending.
They are fueled by passion and excitement, but they are also inherently risky and require careful management and discretion. It’s important to remember that the reasons for ending an affair are often different from the reasons for starting one.
People may enter into affairs to escape the monotony of their daily lives, but ultimately, they seek comfort and stability in their primary relationships. The aftermath of an affair can be painful and confusing, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and learning.
Understanding the dynamics and challenges of affairs can help people navigate these relationships carefully and mindfully, leading to healthy and fulfilling relationships in the future.