Finding Your Tribe: 10 Qualities of Real Friends and How to Make Them


Friendship is something we all need and cherish. Having someone to talk to, an ear to listen, and a shoulder to lean on is essential in leading a happy and fulfilling life.

However, not all friendships are created equal. Some friends are true and faithful, while others are fake and only around to use you for their benefit.

So, what makes a true friend? A true friend is someone who is caring, accepting, and shows effort in the friendship.

They value integrity and work towards your best interest. You can recognize a true friend by the following characteristics:

Supportive in All Situations

A true friend is there for you through both good and bad times. They celebrate with you during happy moments and are there to console you during trying times.

Whether it’s a divorce, break-up, financial challenges, or health struggles, they are a constant source of support.

Wanting the Best for You

A true friend wants you to be successful and happy. They encourage your dreams and aspirations and are proud when your goals are achieved.

They celebrate your success as if it were their own.

Forgiving and Forgetful

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. A true friend forgives and forgets your wrongdoings.

They give you the benefit of the doubt and provide assurance that they still value and appreciate you.

Respecting Your Opinions

Diverse opinions often create robust conversations, but a true friend respects your ideas and values. They don’t carry judgments or belittle your choices, and these qualities reflect their true and unwavering support for you.

Listening and Showing Interest

A true friend listens without judgment and shows interest in all that you say. They’re concerned with your well-being, and they are there to offer guidance, advice, and comfort.

They care about your inner life and want to hear your thoughts and feelings.

Equal Effort in Building the Friendship

A genuine friendship requires equal effort from both parties. A true friend initiates contact, prioritizes your friendship, and doesn’t take the bond for granted.

They respect your time and energy, and they don’t make you feel like a choice, but instead, a priority.

Love You in Spite of Your Flaws

A true friend values your authenticity. They love you for who you are, despite your flaws.

They’re accepting, non-judgmental, and see beyond your baggage. They understand that no one is perfect and embrace your imperfections.

Loyal and Trustworthy

A true friend is loyal and trustworthy. They don’t engage in gossip or divulge your secrets.

They’re reliable and consistent, and you can always count on them.


A true friend is free from shame or judgment and is supportive of you through thick and thin. They exude unconditional love and are always there for you, even during tough times.

Fun to Be Around

A true friend has a positive attitude, and their upbeat demeanor brings joy and lightheartedness. They’re fun to be around, and their love for life rubs off on you.

On the other hand, a fake friend has ulterior motives and isn’t sincere in their friendship. They do not possess the above-mentioned qualities, but instead exhibit the following signs:


A fake friend is around only when you’re useful to them. They’re quick to abandon you when there’s nothing to gain.


A fake friend is inconsistent and unreliable. They make promises they can’t keep and leave you hanging.


A fake friend is manipulative. They take advantage of your vulnerabilities and use them to their advantage.


A fake friend is self-centered and puts their needs before yours. They lack empathy and consideration towards you.

Disappearing Act

A fake friend disappears at the first sign of trouble or when you need them the most. They’re nowhere to be found in difficult times.


A fake friend gossips about you behind your back. They use sensitive information against you to gain an advantage.


A fake friend guilt-trips you into doing things for them. They manipulate you into doing things that benefit them over your well-being.


A fake friend is jealous of your accomplishments and successes. They resent your achievements and try to bring you down.


A fake friend is disinterested in your life. They don’t pay attention to your conversations, and their disinterest is evident.


A fake friend is judgmental. They criticize your choices and decisions and depict themselves as superior.


A fake friend is forgetful and makes excuses for forgetting important events and occasions.

Breaking Promises

A fake friend breaks promises and doesn’t honor commitments that they made to you.


A fake friend has an inherent sense of entitlement. They’re arrogant and feel entitled to everything without regard to your needs.

Back-handed Compliments

A fake friend insults you with backhanded compliments to make themselves look superior.

Embarrasses You

A fake friend embarrasses you in public and makes you feel lousy about yourself.


A fake friend is opportunistic. They only reach out to you when they need something.

Easily Offended

A fake friend is quick to take offense and react negatively.

Holds Grudges

A fake friend holds grudges and remains resentful towards you.

Bad Temper

A fake friend has a bad temper and lashes out at you at the slightest inconvenience.

Drops You

A fake friend drops you when you’re no longer of use to them. Dealing with fake friends can be challenging.

However, some tips can help you navigate your way through such relationships:

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries with fake friends is crucial in freeing yourself from situations that are unhealthy. You must identify the behaviors that you cannot accept and communicate those boundaries.

Limit Interactions

Limiting interactions with a fake friend is essential in minimizing their manipulative behavior. Don’t entertain their requests for meetings, gatherings, or invitations, and don’t invest more in those friends than they are worth.

Avoid Counterproductive Behavior

Avoid engaging in counterproductive behavior as this could lead to a further strained relationship. Refrain from antagonizing, belittling, or gossiping about the fake friend as this could escalate issues further.

Communicate Concerns

Communicating your concerns is a healthy approach in dealing with fake friends. Be honest with them, tell them what’s wrong, and be specific with your complaints.

Prioritize Well-being

Prioritize your well-being and value your self-worth above everything else. Take care of yourself and don’t settle for less as healthy relationships are paramount to emotional and mental stability.

In conclusion, true friendships are worth their weight in gold, while fake friendships are detrimental to your well-being. With the above-mentioned qualities and signs, you can differentiate between the two and make informed choices.

Remember, to set boundaries, limit interactions, avoid counterproductive behavior, communicate your concerns, and prioritize your well-being in dealing with fake friends. Friendship is an essential part of life, and making real friends can contribute significantly to our happiness and overall well-being.

However, forming authentic connections with people can be challenging, especially if you’re a natural introvert, new to a particular area, or find it hard to approach new people. In this article, we’ll explore actionable steps on how to make real friends.

Define What Matters to You

One of the first steps in making real friends is to define what matters to you. Determine what essential qualities you’re looking for in a friend and your non-negotiables.

Identify your values, what you stand for and determine the level of compatibility you’re seeking in a friend. This information helps you narrow down your search and streamline the screening process.

Pay Attention and Ask the Right Questions

To identify real friends, you must pay attention and ask the right questions. Discernment, intuition, and noticing red flags are essential in identifying people that align with your values.

Ask open-ended questions, and pay attention to how they respond. Are they supportive, empathetic, and interested in building a friendship?

Or do they superficially communicate with you, lack honesty, and make you feel uncomfortable? Trust your gut instincts and choose friends that share similar interests.

Go Where Like-Minded People Hang Out

Finding friends who share similar interests is an excellent way to make real friends. To locate them, consider going to places where they hang out.

Attend clubs, conferences, and events relating to your hobbies and interests. Volunteer, join a gym, or take a fitness class.

These activities allow you to meet people who share your interests, and you’re more likely to bond over similar pursuits.

Initiate Friendships

If you want to make real friends, you must initiate friendships. Approaching people and expressing your desire to get to know them can feel uncomfortable, but it’s an essential step in building connections.

Proactivity is key, take the first step, and reach out to people who appeal to you during gatherings. Be vulnerable and share some of your interests and values.

Suggest meeting up or organizing plans together. It’s a great way to strengthen the relationship and work towards building a friendship.

Don’t Give Up

Making real friends can take time, effort, persistence, and patience. Don’t give up.

Be realistic in your expectations, don’t rush, and enjoy the journey. Don’t be afraid of rejection; not everyone will want to be your friend, and that’s okay.

Keep trying, meet and engage with different people, and eventually, you’ll find lasting friendships that will enhance your life. In summary, making real friends requires you to define what matters to you, pay attention, go where like-minded people hang out, initiate friendship, and don’t give up.

Remember that every friendship requires effort, vulnerability, and time, but with the right intentions, you can make meaningful, life-long connections with real friends. In conclusion, building real and meaningful friendships is an essential part of a happy and fulfilling life.

True friendship involves identifying the essential qualities, paying attention, and seeking like-minded individuals in places where they hang out. Initiating friendships, being vulnerable, and not giving up are also essential considerations in your journey towards making real friends.

It takes time, effort, and patience, but with persistence, you can find lasting relationships that will significantly impact your life. These relationships will provide you with the support, care, and encouragement you need to be your best self, taking on challenges and experiencing the joys of life.

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