Getting Over Someone You Never Dated: A Guide to Healing, Moving On, and Rediscovering Yourself
Have you ever found yourself pining for someone you never even dated? Maybe you met them at a party, or in a class, or on a dating app, and you were sure that they were The One.
You daydreamed about them constantly, replayed conversations in your head, and even started planning your future together in your mind. But despite your best efforts, nothing ever happened between you.
Maybe they weren’t interested, maybe they were already taken, maybe they just ghosted you. Whatever the reason, you can’t shake the feeling that there was something there, and you just can’t let it go.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. One-sided love is a common experience, and it can be incredibly frustrating and painful.
But here’s the thing: it’s not real love, at least not in the way that you’re thinking about it. Real love is a two-way street, a mutual exchange of emotions, desires, and actions.
One-sided love, on the other hand, is a fantasy, a projection of our own desires onto someone else who may or may not share them. It’s a form of self-deception, a way of avoiding the real work of building a real relationship with someone who actually wants to be with us.
So, the first step in getting over someone you never dated is to recognize the limitations of one-sided love. It’s not a sustainable or healthy way to live, and it will only lead to more frustration and disappointment in the long run.
Instead, focus on building real relationships with people who are available and interested. Look for someone who shares your values, your interests, and your goals, and who is willing to put in the effort to make things work.
It may take some time and effort, but it will be worth it in the end. Of course, recognizing the limitations of one-sided love is easier said than done.
The difficulty of moving on from someone you never dated can be just as intense as a real breakup, if not more so. You may feel heartbroken, rejected, and alone, even though you never really had a relationship in the first place.
You may obsess over what could have been, or compare yourself to the other person’s current or past partners, or struggle with feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness. These are all normal reactions, and it’s important to give yourself space and time to process them.
The timeframe for getting over someone you never dated can vary widely, depending on your individual circumstances and personality. Some people may be able to move on relatively quickly, while others may take months or even years.
There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and there’s no set timeline for healing. However, there are some tips and strategies that can help you move through the process more efficiently and effectively.
Here are 10 tips to get over someone you never dated:
1. Stop Flirting – One of the best ways to move on from someone you never dated is to cut ties completely.
Stop texting, calling, or liking their posts on social media. Stop flirting with them, or hanging out with them, or asking them for advice.
Create a clean break, and do it with dignity and respect. Remember, you’re not rejecting them, you’re just choosing to prioritize your own wellbeing.
2. Stop Fantasizing – Another common trap that people fall into when they’re stuck on someone they never dated is daydreaming about what could have been.
Stop indulging in these fantasies, and start focusing on reality. Ask yourself what you really want from a relationship, and what you’re willing to give in return.
Be honest with yourself about your needs, your values, and your goals. 3.
Stop Re-reading Texts – Reading old texts or messages from someone you never dated can be a form of self-torture. It’s natural to want to hold onto these memories, but it’s also important to let them go.
Be respectful of yourself and the other person by deleting these messages, or at least archiving them somewhere out of reach. Texting anxiety is a real thing, and it’s not worth the stress.
4. Burn Your Feelings – Sometimes, you need closure to move on.
If you feel like you’re still holding onto strong emotions that won’t go away, consider doing a ritual to release them. Write down your feelings on a piece of paper, and then burn it in a safe and controlled environment.
As you watch the paper turn to ash, imagine your feelings being transformed into something new and positive, like creativity or passion. 5.
Pamper Yourself – Self-care is crucial when you’re going through a difficult time. Take some time to indulge in the things that make you feel good, whether that’s getting a massage, taking a bubble bath, or going for a hike.
Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend who’s going through a tough breakup. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings without judgment.
6. Take Care of Your Profession – Your work and your identity are intimately connected.
If you’re struggling to move on from someone you never dated, it may be a sign that you’re procrastinating or avoiding something important in your professional life. Take stock of your career goals and aspirations, and make a plan to pursue them.
Focus on building your skills and achievements, and don’t be afraid to take risks or try new things. 7.
Give it Time – Healing takes time, and there’s no shortcut or magic pill that can make it happen faster. Be patient with yourself, and try not to rush the process.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment, and trust that you will eventually come out the other side. The duration of the timeline of healing from someone you never dated completely varies from person to person.
8. Take Help from Your Friends – Friends are a great source of support and comfort during difficult times.
Reach out to your trusted confidants and ask for their honest opinions and feedback. Let them know how you’re feeling, and allow them to be a sounding board for your thoughts and emotions.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to accept support when it’s offered. 9.
Start Dating – One way to move on from someone you never dated is to start dating other people. This doesn’t mean that you should jump into a serious relationship right away, but rather that you should be open to meeting new people and exploring new possibilities.
Keep an open mind, and don’t compare your dates to the person you’re trying to get over. Be faithful to yourself and to the other person, if you choose to do so.
10. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem and Confidence – Finally, remember that you are, and always will be, a worthy and valuable person.
Your attractiveness, intelligence, and attention are not dependent on anyone else’s approval or validation. Take steps to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence, whether that’s through therapy, self-help books, or personal affirmations.
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and learn to love yourself for who you are, not who you think you should be. In conclusion, getting over someone you never dated can be a difficult and painful process, but it’s also an opportunity to rediscover yourself and your true potential.
By recognizing the limitations of one-sided love, and taking steps to let go of the past and embrace the present, you can move on with confidence and hope. Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you deserve to find someone who truly sees and appreciates you for who you are.
In conclusion, getting over someone you never dated can be a challenging journey, but it’s an opportunity for growth. By recognizing the limitations of one-sided love, and taking steps to move on, you can open yourself up to new possibilities and rediscover your true potential.
Remember that healing takes time, but with patience, self-care, and support from loved ones, you can come out stronger on the other side. The most important thing is to prioritize your own wellbeing, and to remain open to the abundance of love and connection that life has to offer.