Ghosted? Should You Take Them Back or Move On?


The Art of Ghosting: Why People Do It and What to Do When They Come Back

Have you ever been ghosted? It’s a painful experience that can leave you in shock and disbelief.

Ghosting occurs when someone you’ve been dating or talking to suddenly disappears without any explanation. It’s a common occurrence in today’s dating world, but the reasons behind it can vary.

Reasons for Ghosting

  • Second Thoughts or Commitment Issues: Some people ghost because they have second thoughts or commitment issues. They’re not sure if they want to continue seeing you, so they disappear instead of having a difficult conversation.

  • Attention or Validation: Others ghost as a way of pretending that they’re interested when they’re not. They might be using you for attention or validation, which is not fair to you.

It’s important to understand that the purpose of ghosting is an open-ended breakup. Instead of having a clear, definitive ending to the relationship, ghosting leaves things up in the air.

This can be frustrating and confusing, as you don’t know if the person is coming back or if they’ve moved on. However, sometimes ghosting can also be a sign of potential change of heart. The person might not be ready to cut all ties just yet, and may be keeping tabs on you to see how things are going.

When Ghosters Come Back

It’s not uncommon for someone who has ghosted you to resurface at some point. The time frame can vary, from just a few days up to a week, to several months later.

It’s always a shock when this happens, but it’s important to know why they’ve come back. Firstly, it’s important to note that most ghosters don’t actually regret ghosting.

To them, it was an open-ended breakup, so they haven’t actually lost anything yet. However, they might still be attracted to you, missed you, or be feeling lonely. They might also be worried that you’ve moved on, and want to prevent this from happening.

Should You Take a Ghoster Back?

If a ghoster comes back into your life, it’s important to think carefully before responding. Do you still have feelings for them, or have you moved on? It’s important to communicate clearly and honestly with them, and to make your boundaries clear.

Don’t let them string you along or use you for attention, as this is not fair to you. Ultimately, you deserve someone who will treat you with respect and honesty.

The Reasons to Be Wary

  • Lack of Genuine Interest: Some people ghost as a way of pretending to be interested when they’re not. They might be using you for attention or validation, which is not fair to you. In these cases, taking a ghoster back is not a good idea.

  • Pattern of Unreliability: If you find yourself repeatedly attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable or unreliable, it’s important to take a step back and examine why this is the case. You may need to work on building your self-esteem and learning to set healthy boundaries in relationships.

How to Handle a Ghoster’s Return

Seek Professional Advice

One approach is to have a coaching call with a relationship expert or therapist. They can help you to think through your decision, and to come up with a plan for moving forward.

Seek Closure

Another important step is to seek closure from the ghoster. This might involve having a conversation about what happened, or it could mean simply letting go of the past and focusing on the future. It’s important to feel secure in your decision, and to take the time to process your emotions.

Personal Experience and Perspective

In some cases, taking a ghoster back can lead to a positive outcome. In my personal experience, I took back an ex-boyfriend who had ghosted me. We worked through our issues and ended up getting married. Today, we run a website together that focuses on helping people to build healthy relationships.

However, it’s important to remember that every situation is different, and that taking a ghoster back is not always the right decision. It’s important to be honest with yourself about why you want to give someone a second chance, and to make sure that your decision is based on your own values and needs.


Understanding ghosting and the reasons behind it is important when navigating the dating world. It can be a painful experience, but knowing why someone might ghost can help to move on and find closure.

When considering whether to take a ghoster back, it’s important to weigh the reasons behind it and make a decision based on your own values and needs. Ultimately, remember that you deserve someone who will treat you with respect and honesty, and don’t settle for anything less.

By staying true to yourself and being intentional in your relationships, you can build healthy and fulfilling connections with others.

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