Healing from Heartbreak: 11 Steps to Get Over a Friendship Breakup

How To For Men

Friends are some of the most important people in our lives. They are the ones who share our joys and sorrows and make our lives much more meaningful.

However, as much as we cherish our friendships, they can come to a sudden halt, leaving us with a deep sense of loss and pain. In this article, we will explore why friends break up, the reasons why it hurts so much, and how to cope with the aftermath of a friendship breakup.

Reasons why friends break up


It’s a sad fact that misunderstandings happen in friendships, and sometimes they can lead to a bitter end. Poor communication is often the root cause of misunderstandings.

When you express yourself poorly and don’t explain yourself clearly, it’s easy for the other person to misconstrue what was said. Angry outbursts are another communication problem.

When we’re angry, it’s easy to let our emotions get the best of us and say things that we don’t mean. This can be hurtful and damaging to the relationship.

One friend gets into a romantic relationship

When one friend enters into a serious romantic relationship, the dynamic of the friendship can change. Suddenly, there is less time to hang out, fewer opportunities to talk, and often a partner-less friend left behind.

The partner can also sometimes feel threatened by the friendship. In some cases, this can lead to jealousy and resentment.


Envy and negative energy can be toxic to a friendship.

Jealousy can arise when one friend perceives the other as being more successful, popular, or happy than they are.

This can create a negative energy that can poison the relationship. Rather than feeling happy for their friend’s success, a jealous friend may feel resentful and unsupportive.

Third-person interference

Adding a new friend to your group of friends can be exciting, but it can also spell trouble. Sometimes, a new friend can come between existing ones.

Perhaps they don’t like one of your friends or they’ve been bad-mouthing them behind their back. In some instances, the new friend can make derogatory comments about the group’s dynamics, leading to rifts and fights.

Family and friends

Unfortunately, it’s not just our own decisions that can fracture friendships. Sometimes it can be our families and friends.

When our parents, relatives, or close friends disapprove of our choices, it can make for a difficult situation. For example, if one of your friends is always getting into trouble or making poor choices, it’s possible that your parents or your own friends won’t like them.

This type of disapproval can end up causing rifts in friendships.


When one friend moves away, it’s natural that the friendship can cool off. The distance can make it challenging to keep up with each other’s lives.

It can be hard to find the time to make phone calls, write letters, or visit each other. Even if you promise to keep in touch, it’s not always possible.

Different stages of life

As we move through different stages of life, our priorities and interests change. Sometimes this can lead to a rift between friends.

For example, if one friend gets married and has children while the other stays single, it’s possible that they may not have as much in common anymore. This difference can create distance between friends.

A big fight

Sometimes, a massive disagreement or a big fight can be the cause of a friendship breakup. This can be due to a clash in values, personality conflicts, or other issues.

When the fight is big enough, it can be a deal-breaker for the friendship.

Why a friendship breakup hurts so much

Now that we’ve looked at some of the reasons why friendships break down, let’s examine why the aftermath of a friendship breakup can be so painful.

Vulnerability and shared experiences in friendships

In a good friendship, we share our deepest secrets, make memories together, and become part of each other’s extended families. Consequently, when that friendship ends, it can feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself.

There’s a deep sense of vulnerability that comes with that loss. It’s like having the rug pulled out from under you.

Lack of predictability in friendships

One of the reasons why it’s so hard to cope with a friendship breakup is the lack of predictability. Many of us expect that our friendships will last forever, and when that doesn’t happen, it can be devastating.

There’s also a sense of uncertainty that comes with the end of a friendship. You’re not sure what the future holds, and that can be scary.

Loss of a support system

Friends are often an essential part of our support system, and when a friendship ends, we lose that support. It’s not just the emotional support either, but the practical support, such as having someone to talk to, go out with, or even lend you a hand when you need it.

The loss can leave us feeling bereft and lonely.

How to cope with the aftermath

If you’ve recently experienced a friendship breakup, you’re not alone. Here are some ways to cope with the aftermath:

  1. Give yourself time to grieve

    It’s important to give yourself time to grieve the loss of your friendship. It’s natural to feel sad, angry, or upset.

    Try not to minimize your feelings. Instead, face them head-on.

  2. Recognize that it’s okay to move on

    It’s possible that you and your friend have grown apart, and that’s okay.

    Recognize that it’s okay to move on and make new friends.

  3. Stay connected with other friends and family

    While you may have lost one friend, remember that you still have other friends and family. Lean on them for support.

  4. Focus on self-care

    Make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

    Do things that make you feel good, such as taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in your favorite hobby.

  5. Seek professional support

    If you’re struggling to cope with the aftermath of a friendship breakup, seek professional support. A therapist or counselor can help you work through your feelings and develop healthy coping strategies.

In conclusion, friendship breakups are part of life and can be incredibly painful. However, they can also be transformative.

They can help us grow, learn, and redefine ourselves. Remember that you’re not alone and that there are healthy ways to cope with the aftermath.

Getting over a friendship breakup can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever experience. Whether it was a gradual drift apart or a sudden disagreement, the pain and sadness of losing a friend can be debilitating.

However, with some time and conscious effort, it is possible to move on and find peace. In this article, we will discuss some of the best ways to get over a friendship breakup.

  1. Give Yourself Time

    One of the essential steps in getting over a friendship breakup is to allow yourself the time to grieve.

    It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or upset. Just like any other loss, you need to give yourself time to heal.

    Allow yourself to process your emotions and get to a place of acceptance. Don’t rush the process.

  2. Admit You Are Hurt

    The vast majority of people experience some amount of hurt when a friendship ends.

    It’s essential to acknowledge this hurt and give yourself permission to feel these emotions. Accepting the pain and understanding that it’s a part of the healing process is the first step towards recovery.

  3. Be Kind To Yourself

    After a friendship breakup, it’s important to be kind to yourself.

    Taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health is vital. Engage in activities that make you feel good, whether it’s indulging in a hobby, taking a relaxing bath, or reading a book.

    Focus on self-care and prioritize yourself.

  4. Don’t Dwell on The Past

    While it’s important to acknowledge your feelings, it’s just as important not to dwell on the past. It’s easy to get caught up in the memories and nostalgia, but this can lead to sadness and keep you from moving forward.

    Instead, focus on creating new memories and experiences.

  5. Focus on Your Health

    Taking care of yourself is an essential part of getting over a friendship breakup. Exercise can be a great way to boost your mood and improve your overall wellness.

    It can also help to shift your focus from negative thoughts to a positive and proactive mentality.

  6. Vocalize Your Pain

    Talking to someone about your emotions can be incredibly helpful in processing your pain and moving on. Whether it’s a trusted friend or a mental health professional, articulating your feelings and sharing your perspective with someone else can be a powerful tool in the healing process.

  7. Explore Your Local Surroundings

    Getting out and exploring your local surroundings can be a great way to socialize, boost your confidence and experience new things.

    Attend local events, take a walk in a park, or join a community group. This can be especially helpful if you’re someone who feels lost or unsure of how to make new connections.

  8. Be Honest with Yourself About What Happened

    It’s essential to take an honest look at what happened in the friendship and to reflect on any mistakes you may have made.

    Holding yourself accountable for your part in the breakup can help you grow and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

  9. Keep a Check on How You’re Feeling

    Be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and continually take measure of your mental and emotional health. This can include journaling, discussing your feelings with a trusted friend, seeking guidance from a health professional, or analyzing your relationships and how they’re affecting your emotional wellbeing.

  10. Have Some Fun

    It’s essential to have some fun and engage in activities that make you happy.

    Focus on the good in life, and put energy into things you enjoy. This can make the healing process less challenging and improve your overall outlook on life.

  11. Make New Friends

    Finally, it can be helpful to work on creating new friendships and expanding your social circle.

    This will help you move forward and show you that new and exciting connections can still be made.


While it’s never easy getting over a friendship breakup, it is possible. It’s a natural flow of life that sometimes friendships pause, take a break, or even end.

However, by giving yourself time, being kind to yourself, focusing on your health, and vocalizing your pain, you can move on. Taking an honest look at what happened in the friendship, exploring your local surroundings, having fun, and making new friends can also aid in the transition.

Remember, while this might feel challenging right now, time will help to heal the wounds and lead to new and exciting connections. In conclusion, this article explored the reasons why friendships break up, why they hurt us so much, and how to get over them.

We discussed common reasons why friendships end, such as misunderstandings, jealousy, and different stages of life. We also examined why a friendship breakup can be so painful, including the feelings of vulnerability, lack of predictability, and loss of a support system.

Finally, we covered the essential steps in getting over a friendship breakup, such as being kind to yourself, exploring your local surroundings, vocalizing your pain, and making new friends. It’s important to remember that while ending a friendship can be difficult and painful, it’s also a natural part of life.

Taking the time to heal and move forward can lead to new and exciting connections and experiences.

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