The Mating Grounds

Is it Love or Just a Fantasy? Discover the Signs and Motives for a Real Relationship

Real Love: Signs, Characteristics, and Motives

Are you currently second-guessing your relationship? Are you wondering if what you feel is really love, or just the idea of being with someone?

Before you dive into a relationship, take a step back and examine your motives. Being with someone for the right reasons can bring lasting satisfaction, while being with someone for the wrong reasons can lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

In this article, we will explore the signs and characteristics of real love, as well as examine the motives for being with someone.

Signs of

Real Love

Real love is not just a feeling, it involves a deeper connection and a mutual desire to support and uplift each other. Here are some characteristics of real love:

– Love is not just about you.

Its about wanting the important person in your life to be happy and succeed. – Honesty is a must.

True love involves open communication, even if it means having difficult conversations. – It lasts through the ups and downs.

Love is not just for the good times; it endures through the challenges and hardships. – A deep sense of satisfaction.

Real love brings a sense of contentment and peace that comes from being with someone who truly understands you. – Molding each other.

Real love involves inspiring each other to become the best version of yourselves. On the other hand, here are some signs that you are not really in love:

– If the idea of him is more appealing than the reality of him, its probably not real love.

– If you need someone to feel complete, that is a sign you’re not ready for real love. – If you avoid being alone, it could be a sign that you’re not really in love with the person you are with, but rather the idea of being in a relationship.

– If your relationship is one-sided, where one person is always giving while the other is taking, that is a sign that it’s not real love. – If you find yourself in bad company or attracting people who bring out the worst in you, that is a sign that you might not be experiencing real love.

Examining Motives for Being with Someone

There are right and wrong motives for being with someone. Its important to be clear about why you are in a relationship with someone to avoid hurting yourself or someone you care about.

Here are some things to consider when examining your motives:

Being with Someone for the Right Reasons

– Compatibility is key. You should be with someone who shares similar interests, values, and life goals.

– Mutual interest is important. Your relationship should not be one-sided, both parties should be equally interested and committed.

– Shared values are essential. You should be on the same page when it comes to important issues like religion, politics, and family.

– Willingness to grow with each other. Real love involves supporting each other’s growth and personal development.

Being with Someone for the Wrong Reasons

– Using someone for your own gain is selfish and hurtful. – Fear of being alone should not be your only motive for being with someone.

– Greed should not be a reason for being with someone. Don’t stay in a relationship for financial reasons.

– Selfishness should not be a reason for being with someone. Don’t be in a relationship just to meet your needs and desires.

– Lack of effort is a sign that you’re not truly invested in the relationship, and that’s not fair to your partner.


Love is a beautiful thing when it’s real and genuine, but it’s important to approach it with caution and self-awareness. Understanding the signs and characteristics of real love, as well as examining your motives, will help you make better decisions in your relationships.

Remember, real love involves mutual respect, honesty, and growth. If you find yourself in a relationship for the wrong reasons, or not really in love with someone, it’s best to be honest with yourself and your partner, and move on to find the real thing.

Red Flags That It’s Not Love

Love is a beautiful thing when it is genuine, but sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish between love and other emotions, such as infatuation or lust. It is important to recognize when something is not love, so that you can avoid being in a toxic or one-sided relationship.

Here are some red flags that indicate it’s not love:

Selfish Behavior

One of the biggest warning signs that you are not in love is when your partner’s behavior is one-sided. If they don’t seem to care about your problems, and do not reciprocate the effort you are putting into the relationship, it shows that they are not invested in your happiness.

Additionally, if they are taking advantage of you or manipulating you to get what they want, it is unlikely that their feelings are genuine.

Shallow Feelings

If you or your partner are only interested in things that are superficial, that is a major red flag that there are no deep feelings of love between you. If you are only interested in “good stories” or fun experiences, and not willing to put in the effort and time needed to build a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, it is clear that you do not have real feelings of love.

Dependence on material things to create happiness in a relationship is also a warning sign. This is because a real relationship is built on deeper emotional connections and shared experiences, not just physical possessions.

Real Love vs.


Infatuation can be intense and exciting, but it is not the same as real love.

Infatuation is often based on appearance or material things, and the emotions are usually shallow.

Let’s take a closer look at the differences between infatuation and real love.


Infatuation is a temporary feeling that is often based on superficial traits, such as physical appearance or fancy possessions. When you are infatuated with someone, you might feel like fireworks are going off in your brain, but this feeling is unsustainable.

You may also find that once the novelty of the relationship wears off, you no longer feel the same intense attraction to the person. Additionally, infatuation often involves a high degree of obsession with the other person, where you can’t imagine life without them.

Real Love

Real love, on the other hand, is built on a deeper emotional and intellectual connection, as well as mutual trust and respect. When you are truly in love with someone, you have a deep sense of comfort and security when you are with them.

You feel that this connection will last beyond just superficial traits, and you are willing to overcome challenges together. Additionally, the love you feel for someone grows over time as you get to know them better, withstanding the test of time and challenges.

When you are in love, there are also less feelings of jealousy or obsession, because you trust and respect your partner enough to know that they would never intentionally hurt you.


It can be difficult to determine whether the feelings you have for someone are genuine love or just infatuation. However, it is important to look for signs that indicate a deeper connection beyond superficial traits or temporary emotions.

Real love is built on mutual respect, trust, and the willingness to overcome challenges together. By recognizing the difference between infatuation and real love, you can make more informed decisions about your relationships, and build lasting connections with people who truly care about you.

In conclusion, understanding what real love is, recognizing red flags, and distinguishing between infatuation and love are essential for building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Real love is mutual, deep, and enduring, characterized by honesty, trust, and willingness to grow together.

Avoiding selfish behavior and recognizing shallow feelings are significant in identifying when it is not love, to avoid toxic and one-sided relationships. Recognizing and understanding the differences between infatuation and real love will help individuals make informed decisions about their relationships.

Ultimately, building a genuine and healthy relationship requires effort, honesty, and patience, but it is worth it to experience the joy and fulfillment that comes with real love.

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