Signs That Your Ex Is Miserable
Breakups are never easy, but sometimes, they’re the best thing that can happen to us. However, sometimes one of the parties involved may not be able to cope.
It’s normal to feel sad and down after a breakup, but it’s not normal to stay that way. If your ex doesn’t seem to be moving on after the split, here are some signs that they might be miserable and what you can do to help.
They’re Working Themselves Into The Ground
If your ex is suddenly working extra shifts or getting a second job, they may be trying to distract themselves from their feelings of sadness. They could also be trying to prove a point to themselves or to you.
If they seem to be sacrificing their health and happiness for work, they might be struggling to face their emotions. What You Can Do: Let them know that you’re concerned about their wellbeing and encourage them to take some time off from work to focus on themselves.
Remind them that self-care is important, and that taking a break can help rejuvenate their mental and emotional health.
Lack of Motivation
If your ex has lost interest in their job or hobbies, it could be a sign of depression. They might be feeling too down to pursue the things they once enjoyed.
What You Can Do: Encourage them to get professional help if they’re struggling with depression or anxiety. If they’re open to it, suggest activities that you used to do together in the past.
This could help re-ignite their passion and rekindle their interest in life.
Weight Changes
Significant weight gain or loss could indicate that your ex is turning to food as a source of comfort. They might also have lost their appetite entirely due to their emotional distress.
What You Can Do: Don’t mention their weight changes, but instead, use positive reinforcement to encourage them to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Suggest activities that they might enjoy doing, such as hiking, swimming, or yoga, and offer to do them together.
Talking About Misery
If your ex can’t stop talking about how miserable they are or how they wish things had turned out differently, then they may be struggling to move on. What You Can Do: Listen to them and offer genuine support.
However, if their endless cycles of sadness become repetitive, it’s okay to set boundaries and encourage them to seek help if their behavior becomes too much of a burden.
Intoxicated and Reckless
If your ex is drinking excessively, getting high or taking drugs, and then calling or texting you, it’s a sign that they’re not moving on healthily. When your ex is drunk or high, their emotions can become even more intense, leading to impulsive decisions.
They might even try to initiate physical intimacy with you. What You Can Do: Encourage them to seek help if their substance use has become a problem.
Make it clear that you won’t tolerate their drunk or high behavior in your presence. Setting boundaries is crucial when it comes to dealing with an ex that won’t move on.
Making Sure You Know About Their New Partner
If your ex is constantly posting about their new partner on social media, tagging you in photos, or trying to prove a point about how happy they are without you, they may actually be trying to convince themselves that they’ve moved on. What You Can Do: Unfollow them or unfriend them if their behavior is bothering you.
Be happy for them and wish them well, but don’t let their posts affect your own progress in moving on.
Rebounding
If your ex is jumping from one relationship to another, they may be trying to fill the void left by you. It’s also possible that they’re trying to prove a point to you that you were replaceable.
What You Can Do: Nothing! Let them make their own choices. Remember, you don’t need to prove anything to them.
Instead, focus on healing, self-improvement, and moving on. Alcohol/Drug Abuse
If your ex is becoming increasingly reliant on substances, they may be struggling to cope with their emotions.
They could also be trying to numb their feelings and forget about their problems altogether. What You Can Do: Encourage them to seek help if their addiction has become a problem.
Be supportive, but make it clear that you won’t tolerate their substance use.
Neglecting Their Appearance
If your ex has stopped taking care of themselves, such as not showering, grooming, or dressing well, it could be a sign that they’re depressed or struggling with low self-esteem. What You Can Do: Encourage them to take care of themselves by suggesting activities that involve getting dressed up and going out.
You could also offer to treat them to a spa day or a new outfit to help boost their self-esteem.
Conflicts
If your ex is picking fights with you or stirring up drama even when it’s not necessary, they may be trying to reconnect in some way. What You Can Do: Set clear boundaries and avoid getting sucked into their drama.
Stay calm and remind them that if they continue their confrontational behavior, any future interactions between you two could be avoided altogether.
Seclusion
If your ex is constantly withdrawing from social situations, declining invitations, or avoiding their friends and family, it could be a sign that they’re struggling with depression. What You Can Do: Remind them that you and other people in their life care about them.
Encourage them to get professional help if their depression is affecting their day-to-day life.
Pining for You
Badmouthing New Partners
If your ex is insulting their new partner or talking down about them, it could be a sign that they’re unhappy and not over the breakup. What You Can Do: Avoid responding to their comments or getting involved, instead try to avoid any possible interaction that might lead to an argument.
Trashing Your Name
If your ex is publicly attacking you, spreading lies, or calling you derogatory names, it’s a sign that they may still have feelings for you. What You Can Do: Ignore their comments and don’t get into Twitter wars.
If their behavior becomes threatening or dangerous, seek help from the authorities.
Talking About Getting Back Together
If your ex is hinting at getting back together or framing the breakup as a break or cooling off period, it’s a sign that they still have hopes of reconciliation. What You Can Do: Be clear about your feelings and intentions.
If you don’t want to get back together, making it explicit is the best way to protect yourself from any confusion.
Losing Ambition
If your ex is no longer motivated to pursue their career aspirations, hobbies, or goals, it could be a sign that they’re feeling lost without you. What You Can Do: Encourage them to find new interests or passions to pursue.
Suggest that they try something new like learning a skill or taking a class to reinvigorate their motivation.
Online Stalking
If your ex is constantly checking your social media accounts or responding promptly to any messages or updates you make, they might be feeling nostalgic and regretful. What You Can Do: Block them, change your privacy settings, or ask them not to contact you.
Making your boundary clear can help dissolve any unwanted attention.
People Express Concern
If friends or family members have expressed concern about your ex’s behavior, it’s a sign that they may need help. What You Can Do: Be supportive and encourage them to seek professional help or therapy to deal with their issues.
Offer to help take care of practical things like driving them to appointments or helping them find the right therapist.
Pretending to Be Over You
If your ex claims that they’re happy and have moved on, but still contacts you or talks about the past, it’s a sign that they might not actually be over the breakup. What You Can Do: Trust your gut instincts.
Don’t get carried away over their comments, but also don’t dismiss them entirely. Instead, remember to focus on your own healing and wellbeing.
Moving Away
If your ex has moved away or plans to move, it could be a sign that they’re trying to break free from the past and move on. What You Can Do: Respect their choice and give them the space they need to heal and move forward.
If they reach out to you in the future, then decide if you’re willing to reconnect with them or not.
Conclusion
Dealing with an ex who can’t seem to move on is never easy, but understanding the signs and taking action can help everyone involved. It’s important to remember that ultimately, you need to prioritize your emotional and mental wellbeing.
Be kind to yourself, and know that things will get better with time. Keep in mind that a healthy and happy relationship cannot flourish unless you are both emotionally healthy.
Sometimes, the best course of action is to let go and let your ex find their own way.
How to Make Your Ex Miserable
Let’s be clear: Making your ex miserable is not a healthy or productive way to move on. It’s important to focus on your own future and well-being rather than seeking revenge.
However, if revenge is truly what you want, here are some ways to make your ex regret their decision to leave you.
Success is the Best Revenge
The ultimate way to make your ex miserable is to focus on your own success and well-being. Achieving your goals and reaching new heights can be an excellent way to show your ex that they made a huge mistake.
Here are some ways to focus on your success:
- Level up your career
- Go back to school
- Focus on your health and fitness
- Surround yourself with positive relationships
- Travel and have fun
If there’s ever been a time to take a risk in your professional life, now is the time.
Whether it’s asking for a promotion or starting your own business, focusing on your career can provide you with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.
If you’ve always wanted to go back to school or learn a new skill, now is the time to do it. Enrolling in a course or program can not only improve your skills and knowledge, but also boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Plus, it’s a great way to show your ex that you’re invested in your own future.
Exercise and healthy eating habits can provide immediate benefits in terms of physical health, but they can also have a positive impact on mental health. Focusing on your health and fitness can help boost your confidence and self-esteem, and has the added bonus of making your ex regret their decision to let you go.
Having positive and supportive friendships can improve your emotional well-being and give you the strength to take on new challenges.
Spend time with family and friends who uplift you and help you build a bright future.
Going on a trip can be a great way to step outside of your current reality and focus on experiencing new things. Plus, it’s an exciting way to show your ex that your life is moving forward in a positive direction.
It’s important to keep in mind that success and well-being should be a priority for yourself, not just for the sake of revenge.
Final Thoughts
While it can be tempting to seek revenge on an ex who has hurt you, it’s important to remember that living well is truly the best revenge. Focus on your own goals and happiness and let go of the need to make your ex miserable.
In doing so, you’ll find that you’re much happier and more fulfilled than you ever thought possible. In conclusion, it’s not uncommon for exes to struggle with moving on or finding closure after a breakup.
Signs that your ex is miserable or pining for you can manifest in different ways, from excessive drinking to social media stalking. However, it’s important to let go of the need for revenge and instead focus on your own success and well-being.
Achieving your goals and surrounding yourself with positive relationships will not only make you happier but can also show your ex that their decision to leave you was a mistake. In the end, taking care of yourself and prioritizing your own happiness is the best way to heal and move forward from a painful breakup.
