Signs of a Control Freak Partner: Beware!
Are you finding it hard to express your opinion with your partner? Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells around them?
Are you constantly feeling guilty or anxious? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be dealing with a control freak partner.
Controlling behavior can take many forms, and it can be hard to notice in early relationships. It’s not uncommon for people to mistake controlling behavior for love or concern, but it’s essential to recognize the warning signs before it gets out of hand.
We have put together a comprehensive guide that will help you identify the signs of a control freak partner and what to do about it.
Patriarchal Control: Man as Lord and Master
The unwritten rule in patriarchal control is that men hold the upper hand, and the woman should be in a submissive mode.
This type of control is often disguised as “protectiveness” or “care,” but in reality, it is about retaining power. If your partner insists on making all the decisions and expects you to follow them without question, then you might be a victim of patriarchal control.
It’s not uncommon for the controlling partner to use guilt or fear to make their partner comply.
Quiet Steady Hand on the Whip: Control Under the Radar
Quiet, steady control is where your partner uses flimsy pretexts to control your behavior.
For instance, your partner might insist on you going to places that they want to visit, even if you’re not interested. This type of control can be hard to spot because it’s not always clear what your partner is trying to achieve.
The controlling partner might justify their behavior as a need for enjoyment or a peaceful relationship. If you notice that your partner’s behavior is subtly eroding your independence, then it’s time to have a talk.
Financial Control: The Money Game
Financial abuse is a common tactic used by controlling partners. The controlling partner typically holds a successful career and expects their partner to hand over the money.
The controlling partner might use money to keep their partner under their thumb, and they might also restrict their partner’s freedom to spend. Financial control might also include forcing their partner to ask for permission when making purchases.
The Alarm Clock: Perfectionist Tyranny
The perfectionist type of control is where your partner expects everything to be in order and fly into a rage when things are not meeting their rigid expectations. They might be a clean freak or suffer from OCD.
If your partner insists that things have to be perfect all the time and is exacting in every detail, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate if it’s healthy behavior. Remember, nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to let things slide sometimes.
The Career Wife: Nag, Shout, Cringe, and Crib
The Type A career wife is the partner who is on the fast track to success. They want everything to be prim and proper and will nag, shout, cringe, and crib if things don’t go their way.
If you find yourself walking on eggshells every time your partner doesn’t get what they want in their career, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Remember, a healthy relationship doesn’t make you feel like crap!
The Know-It-All Husband: Insecurity and Atrocity
Insecurity is a leading cause of domestic violence, and some partners use control as a way of putting their partner down to make themselves feel superior.
Know-it-all husbands might act like they know everything, put their partner down, employ emotional manipulation, and use psychological abuse to control their partner. If your partner is constantly putting you down, accusing you of being weak, or making you feel like you can’t do anything right, it’s time to seek professional help.
The Choosy Partner: Eroding Your Independence
Subtle control is where your partner erodes your independence in small ways. For instance, your partner might start to select your clothes or shoes, your phone, or the menu when you go out to eat.
If you notice that your partner is taking over the small decisions, it might be a red flag for more substantial control down the line.
The Friendship Controller: You Shouldn’t Be Friends
Some partners are averse to their partner making friends outside of the relationship.
They might insist that certain people are not good for you or make you feel uncomfortable spending time with your friends. If you notice that your partner is controlling who you can and cannot be friends with, it’s time to have a talk.
Keeping Family Away: Dislikes Connections
Another warning sign of control is a partner who dislikes you spending time with close family members. The controlling partner might feel threatened by the connection you have with your family and want to keep you under their thumb.
Remember, healthy relationships are built on trust, and you should be able to see your family whenever you want.
Taking Permission: The Smallest Thing Matters
If your partner demands that you ask for permission for the smallest things, like going out with friends or spending money, it’s time for a talk.
The controlling partner might use permission as a way to maintain power in the relationship. Don’t allow someone to take away your autonomy.
Identifying a Controlling Partner: Seek Help
It’s not always easy to identify a controlling partner, and it’s not always clear what to do when you do discover it. However, seeking professional help can be a useful tool in navigating these types of situations.
If you notice that your partner is displaying any of the warning signs we’ve discussed, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the relationship. Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy, happy relationship where you feel heard, valued, and respected.
Identifying a controlling partner can be challenging, but recognizing the warning signs is critical to having a healthy and happy relationship. Controlling behavior takes many forms, from financial control to emotional and psychological abuse.
It’s important to trust your gut instincts and seek professional help if you notice any red flags in your relationship. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where your autonomy is respected, and you feel valued and respected.
Use this comprehensive guide to take back your power, identify the signs of a control freak partner, and seek professional help if needed.
