Are You Dating a Narcissist? Signs to Look Out For
We all love to feel special and get appreciated.
It’s natural to be proud of our achievements and feel a certain level of self-importance. But when this self-esteem turns into an unhealthy obsession with oneself, it can result in a personality disorder commonly known as narcissism.
Narcissism is a common trait found in many people, but when it’s taken to an extreme level, it can cause extreme problems in relationships. In this article, we’ll explore the signs of a narcissist and give you some tips on how to identify a narcissistic partner.
Characteristics of a Narcissist
Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and an excessive love for themselves. They feel entitled to admiration, accolades, and adoration from others.
They tend to manipulate and exploit others to feed their ego and get what they want. Here are some other characteristics to look out for:
- They can be extremely judgmental, with no regard for others’ feelings or opinions.
- They are prone to jealousy and intolerance of others’ success.
- They may exhibit an exaggerated sense of entitlement to everything.
- They’re quick to blame others for their own shortcomings and are rarely accountable.
- They may have unequal standards by which they judge others.
- They’ll criticize others for things they wouldn’t tolerate for themselves.
- They can be highly critical of others, even if they don’t know them well.
- They need constant attention and validation, and the slightest criticism can hurt their fragile ego.
Hunger for Praise
The need for praise and validation is a defining trait of a narcissist. They crave compliments and accolades from people around them, even if it’s something small.
If you’re dating a narcissist, you may notice that they’re always fishing for compliments. They’ll even go out of their way to do things that will elicit admiration and praise from you.
Narcissists love to hear flattering things said about them and will go as far as using impressive vocabulary to mask their insecurities.
Hurting People to Manipulate Their Sentiments
Narcissists have a need to control everything and everyone around them. They’ll resort to whatever tactics they can to manipulate people into doing what they want.
This can include hurting them emotionally or physically. They’ll say hurtful things to other people and treat them poorly so that they can take advantage of the situation.
Judgmental
Narcissists are extremely judgmental, oftentimes to the point of being cruel. They typically carry around a sense of superiority and look down on others around them.
Narcissists often have extreme prejudices, and won’t hesitate to say hurtful things about others if they don’t fit into their idea of what’s “acceptable.”
Jealousy and Intolerance of Others’ Success
Narcissists are also often prone to jealousy, especially when someone around them is doing better than they are. Whether it be a friend’s job promotion or a significant other’s success, a narcissist will always feel envious and suspect that there was foul play involved.
It’s this suspicion that will result in the narcissist often becoming a prophet of positivity instead of a genuine congratulator.
Giving an Air of Entitlement
A narcissist feels entitled, just by being themselves, to be adored and loved by everyone around them. They surround themselves with people who will flatter them, and as such, they usually develop an exaggerated sense of entitlement.
They can become very demanding, and often expect others to do for them what they’re not willing to do for others.
Always Wanting Others to Do More
Narcissists have a never-ending need for attention and validation. They’ll always want more from you, and will likely complain about everything you do for them.
They’re not content with what they have, and constantly seek to expand the horizon of their expectations.
Unequal Standards
Narcissists will often make unequal demands and grants, meaning they’ll expect more from you than they’re willing to give. This can create codependency in the relationship, with the narcissist often razing their partner’s self-esteem.
Confident and Charming
Narcissists are often extremely confident and charming. They’re very good at getting what they want and have an edge over others in social settings.
They’re often able to manipulate people with ease by using their charisma and social skills to their advantage.
Identifying a Narcissistic Partner
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, it can be challenging to identify the abuse. Narcissists often exhibit controlling behavior, and this is often the first sign that something is not right.
Here are some things you should watch out for.
Arrogant with Little or No Empathy
Narcissists exhibit a superiority complex and a significant lack of empathy. They don’t care about other people’s feelings and are often dismissive of them.
They’ll put their own wants and needs ahead of everything else, and they won’t hesitate to let you know.
Exhibits Controlling Behavior
A narcissistic partner will often exhibit controlling behavior. They’ll tell you what to do, how to dress, and who your friends should be.
They’ll want to control every aspect of your life and will use any means necessary to do so.
Lies Frequently
Narcissists are often untrustworthy, and will frequently tell little white lies to get what they want. They’ll go out of their way to exaggerate their achievements and downplay their shortcomings.
They’ll also insist on being the best at everything and often say things they know to be untrue.
Need to Feel Superior
A narcissistic partner will always want to feel superior to others around them. They’ll talk down to others and try to make you feel like they’re the only one who can do things right.
They’ll make everything a competition, even the smallest things.
Blames Others and Never Admits Faults
Narcissists will often blame others when things go wrong, and rarely take responsibility for their actions. They’re quick to pass the buck, and will often twist situations to make it seem like they’re not at fault.
They’ll seldom recognize their mistakes and will often deny that they ever happened.
Uses Verbal Abuse Readily
A narcissistic partner will often resort to bullying and verbal abuse when they don’t get what they want. They’ll use hurtful words to make you feel small and powerless.
They’ll also be dismissive of your emotions and feelings, making you feel like your opinions don’t matter.
Does Not Recognize Boundaries
A narcissistic partner will often ignore boundaries, both physical and emotional. They’ll trample on your privacy, read your messages, and listen in on your phone calls.
They’ll also cross emotional boundaries, making you feel like you have no say in what happens in the relationship.
Plays with Emotions
A narcissistic partner will often play with your emotions, making you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster ride. They may alternate between charm and cruelty, making it hard for you to know where you stand.
They’ll manipulate your emotions to make you feel like you’re on the brink of losing them, keeping you perpetually off-balance.
Invalidates Feelings
A narcissistic partner will often invalidate your feelings. They’ll dismiss your emotions, telling you that you’re overreacting or making a big deal about nothing.
They’ll make you feel like your opinions don’t matter, and that you’re not good enough.
Gives Only to Manipulate
A narcissistic partner will often give only to manipulate. They’ll buy you gifts or do things for you, but only to get something in return.
They play on your indebtedness to them, making it hard for you to say no to their unreasonable demands.
Has a Horror Story About Ex
A narcissistic partner will often have a horror story about their ex, describing them as crazy or unstable. They’ll use the victim narrative to make you feel sorry for them, and to make it seem like they’re the only one who’s trustworthy in the relationship.
Provokes and Blames
A narcissistic partner will often go out of their way to provoke you, pushing your buttons until you react. When you do, they’ll use your reaction to blame you for the situation.
They’ll twist the narrative to make it seem like they’re the victim, and that you’re the aggressor.
Conclusion
Identifying a narcissist can be challenging, especially if you’re in a relationship with one. But once you know the signs, you can take action to protect yourself.
If your partner displays any of the aforementioned characteristics, you may want to consider ending the relationship. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and there’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries to protect yourself.
In conclusion, identifying a narcissist can be challenging, but by understanding the signs, we can better protect ourselves from toxic relationships. The characteristics of narcissism, including entitlement, extreme judgment, and the need for constant validation, can lead to controlling behavior, verbal abuse, and manipulation.
Recognizing these behaviors early on can help us establish healthy boundaries and avoid falling victim to a narcissistic partner. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize our emotional wellbeing and seek out relationships that are based on mutual respect and kindness.
So, take the time to prioritize your mental health and protect yourself from toxic relationships.
