Communication Breakdown: Understanding and Combatting Stonewalling
Hello, dear reader. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship.
Without it, how can we truly understand what our partners want, need, and expect from us? But sometimes, communication can go awry, and one partner may resort to stonewalling.
What is Stonewalling?
Stonewalling is a harmful behavior that can suffocate a relationship, but luckily, there are ways to combat it. Firstly, let’s define stonewalling.
It is a form of emotional abuse in which one partner intentionally and repeatedly withholds communication, affection, and attention from the other partner. This can manifest in the form of the silent treatment, ignoring or dismissing the partner’s feelings and needs, and refusing to engage in discussions aimed at resolving conflicts.
Why Do People Stonewall?
Stonewalling is a way of asserting control and power over the other partner, jeopardizing the whole dynamic of the relationship. But why do people resort to stonewalling?
- To punish their partner for perceived wrongs.
- To establish dominance.
- To avoid arguments.
- As a defense mechanism.
- As a psychological strategy to avoid an uncomfortable conversation or fight.
- As a result of childhood experiences or feelings of powerlessness, low self-esteem, or self-worth issues.
- As a result of gaslighting, a form of manipulation where the abuser tries to make the victim doubt their own thoughts and feelings.
The Impact of Stonewalling
Regardless of the reasons behind the behavior, stonewalling is a form of abuse that can seriously damage a relationship. If you feel like your partner is stonewalling you, it’s important to address the issue directly.
You can start by expressing your concerns and feelings in an honest and compassionate way, without attacking or blaming them. For example, you could say, “I feel hurt and ignored when you give me the silent treatment, can we talk about why you’re feeling upset? “.
It’s crucial to remember that stonewalling is not your fault, and it’s not something you should tolerate in a relationship. You deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship, where honest and open communication is the norm.
If your partner refuses to acknowledge their behavior and take steps to change, it may be time to seek professional help and consider leaving the relationship. Remember, no one has the right to hurt you, no matter how much they may claim to love you.
Stonewalling: A Deeper Look
Hello again, dear reader. In the previous section, we discussed the harmful effects of stonewalling on a relationship.
In this section, we will delve deeper into why stonewalling is considered a form of emotional abuse, the impact it has on relationships and partners’ mental health, and the signs of stonewalling to look out for in your relationship.
Stonewalling as Emotional Abuse
Stonewalling is a form of emotional abuse because it is a way of controlling and dominating a partner through communication.
It involves withholding communication, affection, and attention from the other partner, creating a power dynamic where one partner has all the control. Stonewalling can also involve gaslighting, a manipulative strategy where the abuser tries to make the victim doubt their feelings and thoughts.
Disrespect and belittlement are also common in stonewalling, making the victim feel isolated and helpless. Narcissistic stonewalling is a form of stonewalling that is specific to narcissistic personalities.
Narcissists feel entitled to everything and often respond to criticism or negative feedback with stonewalling. They use the silent treatment and emotional distance as a punishment to damage their partner’s self-esteem.
The Impact on Relationships and Mental Health
The negative impact of stonewalling on relationships and partners’ mental health is evident.
Stonewalling can lead to feelings of anger and resentment, which can damage the connection between partners and lead to emotional disengagement or divorce.
It can also result in isolation and loneliness, as well as feelings of anxiety or depression. Stonewalling can damage a partner’s self-worth, self-esteem, and lead to self-doubt.
In some cases, it can also lead to physiological health issues, such as backaches, muscle aches, increased blood pressure, and rapid heart rate.
Recognizing the Signs
Now, let us discuss some signs of stonewalling to look out for in your relationship.
- A cut in communication: This can be evident in conversations where one partner shuts down and refuses to speak or answer questions.
- Lack of verbal and non-verbal cues in communication: When one partner stops responding with facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice, it can be a potential sign of stonewalling.
- Incommunicado instances: Such as the silent treatment or being around your partner but refusing to engage in any conversation. In extreme cases, the stonewaller may only respond with monosyllabic responses, like “yes” or “no.”
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, stonewalling is more than merely a communication issue.
It is a form of emotional abuse that has the potential to damage relationships, partners’ mental health, and physiological health. It’s essential to recognize signs of stonewalling to mitigate its impact on your relationship.
Remember, it is never okay to treat someone with a lack of respect and communication. To summarize, stonewalling is a harmful behavior that can suffocate a relationship.
It is a form of emotional abuse that involves withholding communication, affection, and attention from a partner, creating a power dynamic, and disrespecting and belittling them. Stonewalling can lead to negative consequences in a relationship and the partners’ mental and physiological health.
It is crucial to recognize the signs of stonewalling and take steps to address it if it arises in a relationship. Communication and mutual respect are essential to building happy and healthy relationships, and we must strive to cultivate them in our interactions with our partners.
Remember, stonewalling is not your fault, and you have the right to be in a relationship where open, honest communication is the norm.
