Understanding Compulsive Lying
Are you in a relationship with a compulsive liar? Do you find it frustrating and difficult to deal with their constant lies? You’re not alone. Compulsive lying, also known as chronic lying, mythomania, or pseudologia fantastica is a psychiatric condition that affects many people.
In this article, we’ll explore the signs of a compulsive liar, the effects of being in a relationship with one, their causes, and how to deal with them.
Compulsive lying is a condition where a person lies frequently and impulsively, even when it’s not necessary or useful to do so. There are two types of lies: white lies which are harmless and are meant to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, and harmful lies which can cause significant harm to others.
Compulsive liars often tell the latter type of lies and have difficulty telling the truth even when it would be in their best interest to do so.
Signs of a Compulsive Liar
Compulsive liars have a pattern of behavior that is easily recognizable. Some signs that someone is a compulsive liar include:
- Lies without benefit: They may lie about things that don’t matter, such as what they had for breakfast or their favorite color.
- Dramatic lies: They tell grandiose stories that are difficult or impossible to believe.
- Portraying themselves as hero or victim: They may embellish their role in events to make themselves appear more sympathetic or brave.
- Delusional: Compulsive liars may actually believe their lies, which can make it hard to convince them otherwise.
- Eloquent and creative: They may weave intricate stories and be excellent storytellers.
- Hard to catch lies: They can be very convincing and make their lies seem like the truth.
- Avoiding specific answers: They may give vague answers when asked specific questions.
- Different versions of the same story: Their stories may change every time they tell them.
- Wanting the last word: They may argue incessantly to prove they’re right, even if their claims are false.
Effects of Being in a Relationship with a Compulsive Liar
Being in a relationship with a compulsive liar can be extremely challenging. Some of the effects of this kind of relationship include:
- Frustration: It can be frustrating dealing with someone who constantly lies.
- Worthlessness: Constant lying can make you feel like you’re not important enough to be told the truth.
- Trust issues: Being lied to repeatedly can make it difficult to trust others in the future.
- Hurt: Having someone lie to you repeatedly can make you feel hurt and betrayed.
- Difficulty in confronting: It’s hard to confront someone who is lying all the time, especially if they’re close to you, such as a family member or partner.
- Feeling nervous and scared: It can be nerve-wracking and scary not knowing when someone is going to lie or what they’re going to lie about.
Causes of Compulsive Lying
Compulsive lying can have several causes:
- Different brain structure: Some studies suggest that people who compulsively lie have a different brain structure than those who don’t.
- Dysfunction in the central nervous system: Some researchers believe that compulsive liars have a dysfunction in their central nervous system that makes it difficult for them to tell the truth.
- Childhood trauma: Trauma in childhood, such as abuse or neglect, can lead to compulsive lying as a coping mechanism.
- Substance abuse: Drug or alcohol abuse can increase impulsive behavior and lead to compulsive lying.
- Depression: Some people with depression may lie as a way to cope with their feelings.
Dealing with a Pathological Liar
If you’re in a relationship with a compulsive liar, here are some ways to deal with them:
1. Staying Calm
It’s essential to stay calm when dealing with a compulsive liar. While it’s understandable to feel frustrated or angry, lashing out at them won’t help the situation. Instead, use a kind but firm response to show that you’re not buying their lies.
2. Avoiding Accusations
Accusing a compulsive liar can make things worse. Instead, don’t confront them directly and try to make the situation more conducive to encourage them to come out with the truth. Suppose you start noticing that a particular topic makes them uncomfortable; avoid the topic and handle the matter in a roundabout way.
3. Establishing Trust
Establishing trust with a compulsive liar takes time. Rather than expecting them to change immediately, start by building trust on small matters and gradually increasing it. Give them opportunities to tell the truth and acknowledge when they do so. Celebrate small successes and gradually progress towards trusting them with bigger issues.
4. Encouraging Medical Help
Compulsive lying is a psychiatric disorder that may require medical attention. Talk to them about seeking medical treatment for their condition. Psychotherapy and medication may help reduce their impulsiveness and improve their ability to tell the truth.
5. Can a Compulsive Liar Change?
It’s possible for a compulsive liar to change, but it requires a willingness to change on their part. The use of polygraph tests can also be utilized to encourage them to be truthful.
Conclusion
In conclusion, dealing with a compulsive liar can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Understanding the signs of a compulsive liar, their effects, and causes can help you approach the situation in a more compassionate way. Staying calm, avoiding accusations, establishing trust, encouraging medical help and using the available resources can all help in dealing with the compulsive liar. Remember to take care of yourself while dealing with the situation.
In conclusion, understanding and dealing with a compulsive liar is no easy task. However, recognizing the signs, effects, and causes of compulsive lying can equip you with the knowledge needed to handle this difficult situation with compassion and understanding.
Remembering to stay calm, avoiding accusations, establishing trust, encouraging medical help, and utilizing available resources are all practical steps in dealing with a compulsive liar. Recognizing the significance of these steps can help you to move towards a healthier and more productive relationship with a pathological liar.
