Living with Adult Children: How to Create a Harmonious Home


Should Adult Children Contribute to the Household?

Are you an adult still living with your parents? You’re not alone.

According to recent studies, there has been a significant increase in adult children living at home with their parents in recent years. While the reasons vary – from economic logistics to avoiding senior care costs – the fact remains that adult children staying at home is a growing trend.

But, the big question is – should adult children contribute to the household? In this article, we will break down this topic and discuss its importance, individual circumstances, and ways to handle this delicate conversation.

A recent Pew Research study indicates that more than half of Americans aged 18 to 29 are currently living with their parents.

While some young adults have returned home after college or after a period of traveling, for many, it’s due to financial circumstances; whether it be job loss, financial insecurity, or other financial struggles. Regardless of the cause, living at home as an adult can cause friction with parents.

A great way to alleviate any tension is to establish an agreement between the adult child and the parents, outlining how much they will contribute to the household, whether it be through financial contributions or household responsibilities. This contribution agreement could be mutually beneficial for both parties, as it can lessen any resentment from the adult child for being dependent and provide a self-esteem boost by contributing to the greater good.

Individual Circumstances

That being said, it is important to note that not everyone’s situation is the same. Some may not have the financial means to contribute to household expenses, while others may have lost a job resulting in unexpected financial hardships.

If you’re in a situation where you want to contribute but are currently financially unable to, it’s a good idea to have a conversation with your parents about other ways you can contribute, such as performing household chores or helping out with care responsibilities. On the other hand, if your parents are struggling to make ends meet, it’s important to offer some form of contribution that is feasible.

Even something as small as paying for a portion of groceries or helping with utility bills can make a difference.

Rules Matter

Regardless of the situation, it’s vital to establish ground rules and boundaries. Both the parents and adult children should agree on specific responsibilities and expectations of the living arrangements.

For instance, are there specific chores that need to be performed or a curfew that needs to be followed? Having a clearly defined set of rules will help to mitigate any potential conflicts.

Ultimately, each family’s situation is unique, and it’s crucial to find a solution that works best for everyone involved. Still, the importance of a contribution agreement, whether it be through financial contributions or household responsibilities couldn’t be more emphasized.

In conclusion, the answer to whether adult children should contribute to the household depends on individual circumstances. While it’s essential to attempt to contribute as much as possible, the most important factor is open communication.

Have an honest conversation with your parents about the situation and come up with a solution that best suits everyone. Remember that even the smallest of contributions can make a significant impact on the household, and it’s essential to remember that living with parents should not be viewed as a permanent solution.

Instead, it should be seen as a way to save money while creating a plan of action that will ultimately contribute to your future goals. Are you an adult living with your parents and struggling to navigate the financial logistics and household responsibilities that come with this living arrangement?

If so, you’re not alone. In fact, many young adults and even older adults have found themselves back home for various reasons – job loss, financial struggles, or to avoid senior care costs.

In this article, we’ll explore other financial considerations and provide a list of essential house rules for adults living with parents.

Other Financial Considerations

Financial security is a significant factor in any living arrangement. As an adult living with your parents, you may see this as an opportunity to save some money, which is always essential.

Nevertheless, it’s essential always to keep an emergency fund in a secret savings account. Having a secret savings account can help to secure a substantial nest egg that will provide a sense of financial security for the day when you need to move out.

It also is wise to regularly present your nest egg to your parents. This transparency can go a long way in showing your parents that you’re taking steps to work towards your financial independence.

It’s important to note that this is just a personal preference and not a requirement.

The Essential List of House Rules for Adults Living With Parents

When it comes to living with your parents, it’s essential to establish ground rules and boundaries that will keep everyone happy. The following are some essential rules that should be put in place when living with your parents.

1. Chore Delineations

To ensure efficiency and respect in your family, it is important to divide household chores.

Make a plan of the specific chores that each person is responsible for. Ensure that each person completes their tasks when required and that everyone is respectful of each other’s schedules.

If there are multiple members in the family, try rotating the responsibilities to keep everything fair.

2. Food Arrangements

When living with your parents, it is important to figure out the food arrangements. It’s important to share responsibility in grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning up after meals.

It’s also important to consider any allergies, dietary laws, or lifestyle choices, such as veganism or vegetarianism, and ensure that everyone’s nutritional needs are accommodated.

3. Respect Above All Else

Respect is paramount, especially when living with parents as an adult. The dynamic may have shifted, but parents should still be treated with respect and autonomy.

Establishing boundaries, such as privacy, will be an essential part of this dynamic.

4. Rent Contributions

If contributing financially is a possibility, it’s important to discuss rent contributions. Contributing to rent can alleviate any resentment and show that you’re willing to take financial responsibility.

Have a conversation with your parents to determine the fairest rent contribution for your situation.

5. Overnight Guest Rule

It’s important to discuss the rules around having overnight guests. Whether it’s for intimacy purposes or family visits, it’s essential to have one another’s comfort and consideration in mind.

6. Separate Bathrooms

Sharing a bathroom, particularly with aging parents, can be challenging.

Consider discussing if a separate bathroom is possible and who will be responsible for cleaning it.

7. Quiet Hours

If you or anyone in your family has a specific routine, such as work or school, then agreeing on quiet hours can be beneficial. It shows consideration and respect for every member’s lifestyle.

8. Television Rights

Having multiple individuals in the living space means that television time may need to be negotiated.

Arranging a set schedule can ensure that everyone gets a turn to watch their favourite programs.

9. Cohabitation Timeline

It’s important to have an idea of a timeline for the cohabitation. Knowing when you will move out can help the family and the individual to plan accordingly and work towards that goal.

10. Communication

Communication is key when living with family.

Being open and honest in your communication can help prevent any misunderstandings and conflicts. Maturity and honesty are the key attributes of communication in this dynamic.

11. Family Dynamics

It’s important to be aware of every individual’s needs and personalities, especially when living under the same roof.

It is also essential to have a gentler touch when communicating with parents.

12. Truthfulness

Hiding things or misleading your parents can lead to drama and tension. Being truthful and upfront with any plans or future goals can help to alleviate these problems.

13. Replacing Communal Items

It is important to replace any communal items that you use up, especially in the kitchen.

This ensures that there is no conflict over sharing utensils, plates, or cups.

14. Check-In Policy

Having a check-in policy can help parents ease their worries. Check-in with your family when you’re not at home and send a message or give them a call.

This shows that you’re respectful and mature.

15. Monthly Meetings

Having regular meetings to discuss any grievances or issues can be extremely helpful. The meetings can provide a platform to adjust the rules according to the situation and promote a peaceful and functional environment.

Final Thoughts

Living with parents as an adult can be a great way to save money and spend time in a familiar environment. Establishing boundaries and guidelines will ultimately contribute to creating a comfortable and harmonious living situation for everyone.

It’s important to remember to communicate openly and honestly with your parents and to show maturity and respect in all aspects of your living arrangements. When your adult child comes back home to live, there are a lot of benefits that come with it, but there are also potential challenges.

As a parent, you may be excited to have your child back home, but it’s important to make sure you have all the necessary conversations and offer clear guidelines to avoid any potential misunderstandings or conflicts. In this article, we’ll explore what parents should consider before their adult child moves back home and how to effectively communicate the rules for adults living at home.

What to Consider Before Living with Adult Children

Before welcoming your adult child back home, it’s important to consider several factors to create a comfortable and harmonious living environment.

1. Length of Stay

One of the first things to consider is the length of time your adult child will be living with you. Communicate your expectations and determine a timeline or plan that accommodates everyone’s needs.

Setting boundaries in the beginning can prevent potential conflicts or misunderstandings down the line.

2. Financial Contributions

Although the circumstances may have led to the decision, it is important to discuss financial contributions. Determine if your adult child is able to contribute financially, and if yes, what would be a reasonable ask.

This conversation can ease any financial worries and create a more comfortable living situation for everyone involved.

3. Health Considerations

Parents should ensure their child’s health is not endangered and if they need any additional care. Older adults may also have different and chronic health conditions, so it is vital to discuss how these can be managed.

Understanding these situations and making appropriate preparations is essential for maintaining a healthy living situation.

4. Lifestyle Conflicts

As family dynamics differ, lifestyle habits conflict can arise. Have a conversation about differences in schedules and habits to give room for flexibility, compromise, and deference for each other’s accommodations to have a harmonious living arrangement.

5. Consequences for Breaking Rules

It’s important to establish ground rules from the beginning and to ensure that everyone involved understands the consequences for breaking them.

Deciding and communicating these rules and consequences will help to establish some accountability for everyone in the home.

How to Communicate the Rules for Adults Living at Home

1. Tangible Solidification of Rules

One way to communicate the rules effectively is by creating a physical agreement.

A signed agreement outlining the rules and expectations can serve as a tangible reminder for everyone in the home and identify specific responsibilities. Another way to do this is through a chore chart that is posted in a visible area of the house.

This can be useful in establishing accountability among family members while avoiding any resentment.

2. Group Communication

Creating open group communication channels provide a space to discuss any grievances or misunderstandings and have a more productive dialogue versus unfavorable family dynamics. This also helps with building trust among family members and in laying clear objectives and procedures for conflict resolution.

3. Importance of Respect and Patience

Living with adult children can be a rewarding experience as it creates opportunities for all family members to reconnect and bond in a different context.

When communicating the rules and managing expectations, it is significant to balance authority and flexibility and foster a harmonious environment. Being respectful and showing patience towards one another can go a long way towards creating and maintaining a loving and healthy living environment.


Living with adult children can be a great way to reconnect and reconcile with them, but it is vital to have all the essential conversations before they move back home. By considering factors like financial contributions, length of stay, health conditions, lifestyle conflicts, and rules consequences, parents can prepare for a smoother transition.

Additionally, establishing tangible rules, group communication channels, and demonstrating respect and patience towards one another to create mutual trust and responsible conflict resolution. With these guidelines and concerns addressed, you can create a happy and harmonious home for everyone involved.

In conclusion, living with adult children can be a rewarding and beneficial experience for both parents and children. However, it’s important to consider all factors before deciding to share a living space, such as the length of stay, financial contributions, and health considerations.

After deciding to live together, sharing expectations and creating tangible and effective rules is the key to a harmonious living arrangement. Respect, patience, and good communication can help family members understand each other better and overcome any potential conflicts.

By having an open and honest conversation, parents and adult children can create a loving and nurturing environment where everyone thrives.

Popular Posts

Sign up for free email updates: