The Mating Grounds

Moving On from Hurt: Strategies for Healthy and Positive Relationships

Dealing with Hurt Feelings in a Relationship

There’s no doubt about it, being in a relationship can be wonderful. Finding someone who loves you for you, who supports and encourages you, and who makes you feel alive is an experience that is hard to beat.

However, as we all know, relationships are not always easy. They require effort, patience, and compromise.

And one of the most challenging aspects of any relationship is dealing with hurt feelings.

Understanding Hurt in a Relationship

In any relationship, we put ourselves in a vulnerable position. We open our hearts to someone, trusting that they will treat us kindly and with respect.

When they don’t, it can be incredibly hurtful and can leave us feeling betrayed and alone. This is why it’s so important to understand what hurts us in a relationship.

A key part of understanding hurt in a relationship is knowing what your triggers are. Everyone has different things that they are sensitive to.

For some, it may be feeling ignored or dismissed. For others, it may be a lack of affection or feeling like their partner is not committing enough time to the relationship.

Knowing what your triggers are is the first step towards healing.

Handling Hurt in a Relationship

Once you’ve identified what has hurt you in your relationship, it’s time to figure out how to handle it. One of the most important things you can do when dealing with hurt feelings is to communicate with your partner.

If they have done something that has hurt you, tell them. Keeping it bottled up will only lead to resentment and anger.

When approaching your partner about what’s bothering you, it’s important to keep the conversation as calm and rational as possible. Avoid blaming or accusing language.

Instead, use “I” statements, such as “I feel hurt when you…” This communicates your feelings without putting your partner on the defensive. Another important aspect of handling hurt in a relationship is learning to let go of the past.

This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but rather accepting it and moving forward. Holding onto past hurt can make it difficult to build a healthy and loving relationship.

Tips on How to Get Over Hurt Feelings in a Relationship

Allowing Yourself to Grieve

When you’ve been hurt in a relationship, it’s ok to take some time to grieve. Allow yourself to fully experience your emotions.

Cry if you need to. Write in a journal.

Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out. It’s important to acknowledge your pain and give yourself time to process it.

However, it’s also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms. Turning to alcohol, drugs, or other vices may provide temporary relief, but ultimately only make the situation worse.

Instead, focus on healthy coping strategies, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time doing activities you enjoy.

Taking Positive Steps to Heal

As difficult as it may be, it’s important to find a way to move forward after being hurt in a relationship. This can involve making positive changes in your life.

Perhaps you realize that you haven’t been making time for yourself or your own interests. Or maybe you recognize that communication has been lacking in your relationship and you make an effort to improve it.

Another way to take positive steps towards healing is to practice acceptance. This means accepting what has happened and choosing to move forward, rather than dwelling on the past.

Acceptance also means accepting your feelings, good or bad, without judgment.


Dealing with hurt feelings in a relationship is tough. But with understanding and communication, it’s possible to move past the pain and build a stronger and healthier relationship.

Remember to communicate clearly and calmly about what has hurt you, allow yourself to grieve, and take positive steps towards healing and acceptance. By doing so, you can build strong, loving, and lasting relationships that bring joy and meaning to your life.

Moving Forward After Being Hurt in a Relationship

Getting hurt in a relationship is a painful experience, but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road for you. There are steps you can take to heal, move forward, and create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

In this article, we’ll explore some ways you can start this pivotal journey towards healing after being hurt in a relationship.

Building Healthy Communication

Communication is key to any healthy relationship. When relationships are lacking in healthy communication, they become more vulnerable to hurt.

It’s important to communicate in a way that fosters listening and engagement. Healthy communication involves both talking AND listening.

Talking with your partner about your feelings is important if you are looking to move forward. When initiating the conversation, it’s essential to communicate in a way that fosters understanding and promotes healthy discussion.

Practice using “I” statements that convey your feelings without blaming the other person. When your partner is speaking, make sure that you listen actively and don’t disqualify their feelings.

Active listening involves focus, attention, and allowing the other person to express themselves without interruption or criticism. The act of simply listening can validate their feelings and begin to repair the damage done.

Focusing on Essential Things

When hurt in a relationship, it’s natural to feel like everything in your life is falling apart. But it’s important to recognize the good things in your life too.

One way to focus on the important things in your life is by practicing gratitude. Gratitude is the practice of appreciating the good things in your life.

By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you will help to shift your mindset towards positivity, even when life gets rough. Another essential way to move forward is by taking care of yourself.

Self-care can take on many forms. It can mean pampering yourself with a bubble bath, going to a yoga class, or simply taking a walk outside.

It can also involve seeking help from therapists, coaches, or support groups. This can aid you in feeling more grounded, in control, and help you to build emotional resilience.

Accepting Responsibility in Hurt Situations

It’s easy to place blame on others in a hurtful situation, but it’s essential also to acknowledge your role in the relationship breakdown. Taking responsibility will promote self-reflection, self-improvement, and maybe even repair the relationship.

Acknowledge your role in the situation by reflecting on the actions you took, and the words you said. Perhaps you played a part in the breakdown of healthy communication, or maybe you overlooked your partner’s needs.

A non-judgmental reflection will help you to understand your part in the breakdown. Taking care of yourself involves taking full responsibility for your wellbeing and your own self-worth.

This may mean developing a daily self-care routine that includes journaling, spending time outdoors, meditation or yoga, and other healthy habits. By taking care of yourself, you will foster self-empowerment, self-awareness and encourage self-love.


Being hurt in a relationship is a challenging experience, but it can also be an opportunity to grow and create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. By building healthy communication with yourself and others, focusing on the essential things, and accepting responsibility, you can move forward with healing and growth.

Remember that relationships have their ups and downs, but with consistency and commitment, it’s possible to create a healthy and happy relationship that will last for years to come.

Avoiding Dwelling on the Past

When we experience hurt in a relationship, it can be tempting to dwell on the past. Thoughts of “what could have been” or “what should have been” can consume us and keep us from moving forward.

However, engaging in these types of thoughts are not beneficial, and can lead to negative feelings like guilt, sadness, or anger. In this article, we’ll examine some strategies for avoiding dwelling on the past and learning to live in the present.

Learning from the Problem

It’s important to take time to reflect on what happened in the past relationship. You may need to identify mistakes and determine things you need to change for a healthier relationship in the future.

Reflecting on the events that led to the breakdown of the relationship if done in a healthy and constructive way can aid in gaining closure and moving on. Gaining closure is an essential step when you are struggling to let go of the past.

Closure can come in the form of an apology, an acknowledgment of what happened, or a simple conversation that allows you both to make amends and find a way to move forward in a healthy, positive manner. When struggling to let go of past pains, try to focus not on the negative, but on the learnings you can glean from the situation.

Use it as a stepping stone towards growth, as opposed to being weighed down by it.

Focusing on the Present

Focusing on the present is essential for moving on and building healthy relationships. One way to do this is through mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, or simply slowing down and paying attention to your thoughts or surroundings.

Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment, not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. When practicing mindfulness, you learn to accept your thoughts and emotions without judgment and live in the present as opposed to the past.

Another way to aid in focusing on the present is through practicing positivity. Focusing on positive thoughts and interactions throughout the day can help you stay present, and let go of the past.

By making a conscious effort to focus on the good in your life, you’ll keep your mind on a track towards positivity and joy, promoting self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love.


When it comes to moving past hurt in a relationship and avoiding dwelling on the past, it’s essential to remember that it’s a constant process. It’s natural to feel sadness, regret, or anger while you are doing the emotional work of moving through pain.

However, it’s important to continually take steps towards closure and move toward being fully present in the moment. By focusing on the present, you can create a healthier perspective and build relationships that are fulfilling and happy.

Remember to practice positive thinking and engage in mindfulness activities to aid in the process. By taking proactive steps, you’ll be able to move forward with grace and enjoy the wholesome relationships that life has to offer.

In conclusion, dealing with hurt in a relationship can be a difficult experience, but it’s essential to assess the situation to find a path forward. Starting with healthy communication, gratitude, self-care, and ending with focusing on the future can help you move towards a healthy and positive perspective of the situation.

By practicing mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-love, you can let go of unwarranted judgment and promote positivity and appreciation. Remember, though it may be difficult, focusing on the present and growing from the past is necessary for moving towards fulfilling, positive, and healthy relationships.

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