Narcissists Beware: Clever Comebacks Humorous Quotes and Strategies to Keep Your Cool


Dealing with Narcissists: How to Keep Your Cool

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone who just can’t seem to stop talking about themselves? It can be frustrating and exhausting to deal with a narcissist, but there are ways to handle them without losing your cool.

In this article, we’ll explore the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder and give you some clever and funny comebacks to use the next time you find yourself face-to-face with a self-centered egoist.

Characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

To understand how to deal with a narcissist, it’s helpful to know what characteristics to look for. People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to exhibit the following traits:

  • A grandiose sense of self-importance
  • A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • A belief that they are special and unique and can only be understood by other special people or institutions
  • A need for excessive admiration
  • A sense of entitlement
  • A tendency to exploit others for their own gain
  • A lack of empathy
  • Envious of others or believes others are envious of them
  • Arrogant behavior and attitudes

If you find yourself in a conversation with someone who exhibits these traits, it’s important not to get defensive or engage in an argument.

Instead, try to target the narcissist’s ego with some clever comebacks.

Targeting the Narcissist’s Ego

Narcissists are obsessed with their own egos, so targeting their weaknesses is a good way to get through to them.

Here are some examples of clever and funny comebacks to use in different scenarios:

Scenario #1: The Narcissist Won’t Stop Talking About Themselves

Comeback: “Wow, you really do like talking about yourself, don’t you? Did you know that talking about yourself non-stop is actually a sign of a lack of self-confidence?”

Scenario #2: The Narcissist Wants Your Opinion on Something

Comeback: “Oh, you want my opinion?

I thought you only cared about your own opinion. Sure, I’ll give you my two cents.

Don’t spend it all in one place.”

Scenario #3: The Narcissist Offends You and Refuses to Apologize

Comeback: “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were incapable of apologizing. That’s too bad, because it makes you look even weaker.”

Scenario #4: The Narcissist Brags About Their Accomplishments

Comeback: “Wow, you must be so proud of yourself.

You know what they say, pride comes before the fall.”

Scenario #5: The Narcissist Acts Like They Know Everything

Comeback: “Well, you’re certainly entitled to your own opinion, no matter how wrong it is.”

Scenario #6: The Narcissist Interrupts You Constantly

Comeback: “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were so desperate for attention that you had to interrupt me all the time. How sad.”

Scenario #7: The Narcissist Thinks They’re a Hero

Comeback: “Wow, I’m impressed.

You’re like a superhero, always saving the day…in your own mind, at least.”

Scenario #8: The Narcissist Thinks They’re More Beautiful or Handsome Than Everyone Else

Comeback: “Oh, I see. You think you’re more beautiful than everyone else.

I guess that explains why you’re always in front of the mirror.”

Scenario #9: The Narcissist Thinks They’re Smarter Than Everyone Else

Comeback: “You know, it’s interesting. The more you talk, the less intelligent you sound.”

Scenario #10: The Narcissist Lies to Impress You

Comeback: “I’m sorry, did you say something?

I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your own lies.”

Narcissist Insults as a Defense Mechanism

Sometimes, a narcissist will respond to your clever comebacks with insults of their own. That’s because insults are their defense mechanism when they’re feeling threatened.

It’s important not to take these insults personally and to stay calm. Remember, the goal is not to engage in an argument or stoop to their level of negativity.

Instead, try these self-defense techniques:

  • Respond with a humorous comeback, which will defuse the situation and prevent the narcissist from getting the reaction they want.
  • Use logic and reason.
  • If the narcissist makes a false statement, calmly correct them with factual information.
  • Set boundaries.
  • Let the narcissist know what behavior is unacceptable and what the consequences will be if they continue to push your boundaries.


Dealing with a narcissist can be frustrating, but clever comebacks and self-defense techniques can help you keep your cool. Remember, it’s not about winning an argument or proving them wrong.

It’s about protecting your own emotional and mental well-being. So the next time you find yourself in a conversation with a self-centered egoist, try using some of these clever comebacks to target their ego and defuse the situation.

Shutting Down Narcissists: How to Put a Stop to Their Self-Centeredness

Have you ever had to deal with a narcissist? Someone who is completely self-absorbed and only cares about themselves?

It can be frustrating, tiring, and downright exhausting. But there are ways to shut them down without engaging in an argument or getting caught up in their self-centeredness.

In this article, we’re going to cover some clever comebacks that will silently affect a narcissist’s ego and some suggested actions for dealing with them.

Comebacks that Silently Affect Narcissists

Narcissists love attention. They love to talk about themselves and hear how great they are.

Sometimes, it feels like they’re fishing for compliments. Here are some clever comebacks that will silently affect a narcissist’s ego:

  1. You must love being alone, since you’re always talking about yourself.
  2. I completely agree with you. You’re the best at everything.
  3. I can’t believe you’re that blind to your own behavior.
  4. I’m sorry, my memory is not so great.
  5. Can you remind me again how great you are?
  6. I think you’re beautiful on the inside. I can’t really say much about the rest.

Suggested Actions for Dealing with Narcissists

While these clever comebacks are useful for shutting down a narcissist in the moment, sometimes you need to take more significant actions to deal with them effectively. Here are some suggestions:

Ignore Them

One of the best ways to deal with a narcissist is to stop giving them attention. Narcissists crave attention and thrive on drama.

If you stop paying attention to them, they may start to move on to someone else.

No Contact

In some situations, cutting all contact with a narcissist is the best course of action. This can mean breaking up with a partner, quitting a job, or distancing yourself from a friend.

Sometimes, the damage they can cause to your mental health and quality of life is not worth trying to deal with them.

Pay Back

If a narcissist has wronged you, give them a taste of their own medicine. This doesn’t mean becoming a narcissist yourself, but it can mean standing up for yourself, asserting your boundaries, and not letting them walk all over you.

Seek Help

Narcissists can cause a great deal of damage to those around them.

If you feel like you’re dealing with a narcissist and it’s impacting your mental health and wellbeing, it’s essential to seek professional help. Therapy can help you process what you’re going through and help you develop coping mechanisms to deal with them.

Hilarious Quotes About Narcissists

Lastly, here are some humorous and witty quotes that poke fun at narcissists:

  1. “The difference between a narcissist and a politician is that a narcissist will tell the truth when they’re drunk.” – Tina Fey
  2. “The funny thing about narcissists is that they can’t be alone. They need an audience.” – Delaine Moore
  3. “A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.” – Karla Grimes
  4. “A narcissist will never say sorry because they genuinely believe they’re always right.” – Unknown
  5. “A narcissist is someone better than you in every way but leaves you feeling like you’re the best thing that ever happened to them.” – Unknown


Shutting down a narcissist can be a subtle and necessary action, and these clever comebacks can help you do that without engaging in an argument. Remember that dealing with a narcissist can sometimes require more severe actions, such as cutting off contact and seeking professional help.

If all else fails, you can always laugh it off with some hilarious and witty quotes.

Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists: How to Stay Safe and Maintain Your Peace of Mind

Narcissists can be difficult to deal with, and sometimes, the best strategy is to limit your exposure to them.

In this article, we’ll discuss two strategies for dealing with narcissists: using the silent treatment and no contact, and being cautious around narcissists to maintain your peace of mind.

Using the Silent Treatment and No Contact

The narcissist thrives on attention, so the silent treatment can be an effective form of punishment to get them to back off. By withdrawing your attention, you make them feel unimportant and insignificant.

This can be a useful way of asserting boundaries with a narcissist. No contact takes the silent treatment one step further.

It means cutting off all contact with the narcissist. This might involve ending the relationship, quitting the job, or simply stopping communication altogether.

No contact is the most effective way of dealing with a narcissist because it removes the opportunity for them to trap you with their need for validation. This is also useful in case of gaslighting or narcissistic abuse.

Punishing the narcissist by using the silent treatment or no contact can feel satisfying. However, it’s important to remember that narcissists may react extremely negatively to this treatment.

Be prepared for an intense negative response such as angry outbursts, threats, or manipulative behavior. It takes time and effort to recover from the effects of narcissists, emotional and mental health should always be your top priority.

Being Cautious Around Narcissists

Sometimes, it’s not possible to cut a narcissist out of your life entirely. If you’re in a situation where you need to interact with a narcissist, it’s important to be cautious to maintain your peace of mind.

One way to maintain your peace of mind is to detach yourself emotionally from the narcissist. Don’t let yourself get caught up in their emotions or drama.

Try to remain objective and treat them as you would any other person. Remember that you have no obligation to engage with them or give them attention.

Another way to maintain your peace of mind is to prioritize your own quality of life. Don’t let the narcissist’s behavior impact your sense of self-worth or your happiness.

Make sure you’re taking care of yourself and doing what is best for you. It’s essential to watch out for signs of manipulation.

Narcissists are masters at gaslighting – or making you doubt your own reality. They may try to control you by twisting the truth, lying, or making you feel guilty for their actions.

If you notice these signs, it may be best to avoid them entirely.


Dealing with narcissists requires careful attention and often means making significant changes in your life. Using the silent treatment and no contact can be effective ways of limiting your exposure to them, especially when they engage in abusive or dangerous behavior.

Being cautious around narcissists involves prioritizing your safety and peace of mind, detaching emotionally from their behavior, and being aware of signs of manipulation. It takes effort and time to recover from narcissistic abuse, but these strategies can help you take control of the situation and maintain your well-being.

In conclusion, dealing with narcissists can be incredibly challenging and often requires significant changes in our lives. Strategies such as using the silent treatment and no contact can be effective ways of limiting our exposure to them, while being cautious around narcissists is all about prioritizing our safety and well-being.

It’s important to remember that we have no obligation to engage with narcissists or to give them attention, and that our emotional and mental health should always be our top priority. By taking these steps, we can take control of the situation and maintain our peace of mind, even in the face of the most challenging narcissistic behavior.

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