Outwitting Narcissists: Using Humor and Assertiveness to Take Control


Dealing with Narcissists

Are you stuck in a relationship or situation with a narcissist? It’s time to take control and outwit them! Narcissists use mind games, emotional abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting to maintain their power and control.

However, there are ways to deal with them effectively.

Ways to Outwit a Narcissist

1. Walk Away

Sometimes, the best way to win the game is not to play. Don’t engage with a narcissist or allow them to drag you into their emotional rollercoaster. If you find yourself in a situation that’s not productive or unhealthy, cut your losses, and walk away.

2. Take Responsibility

Set clear boundaries and demand that the narcissist respects them. If you detach yourself from their negative reactions, you regain control of the situation. Don’t blame yourself or feed into their criticisms, gaslighting, or manipulated lies.

3. Gray Rocking

Don’t react to their drama or emotional responses. Act like a gray rock: calm, cold, and distant. If you make yourself uninteresting emotionally, the narcissist will move on to something or someone else.

4. Anticipate their Reactions

Know the signs of narcissistic behaviour. Be aware of their triggers and emotional buttons. Plan your conversations to not trigger them, which can help you navigate their selfish behaviour without losing your peace.

Funny Things to Say to Narcissists

Whether it’s your friend, family member, or colleague, narcissists are tough to deal with. Sometimes, humour is the best medicine to diffuse the situation and put some levity into their ego-driven behaviour.

So, why not try these funny retorts to deflate their ego?

  1. I will not argue with someone who’s an expert on everything.
  2. Your delusions of grandeur are tiresome.
  3. You know, Freud would have a field day with you.
  4. I’m sure there’s a support group somewhere for people who believe they’re better than everyone else.
  5. Do you ever look in the mirror and think, “Wow, I’m amazing?”
  6. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the sun does not rise and set on you.
  7. You must be a genius because it takes one to know one.
  8. Wow, you must have broken the world record for talking about yourself in one conversation.

Things Not to Say to Narcissists

While humour can take the edge off a tense situation, using the wrong words can make matters worse. Here are some things to avoid saying to narcissists:

  1. Be Careful – Saying this implies that you view them as someone likely to cause harm, which can trigger their ego-defense mechanism, leading to an outburst of rage.
  2. Mean – Narcissists cannot handle words that undermine their image. Saying something mean can make them lash out and escalate the situation.
  3. Hurt Themselves – Narcissists cannot handle being held responsible for their behaviour. Telling them they’ve hurt someone will make them feel insufficient or attacked, leading to them either flaring up or seeking empathy from you.
  4. Snarky – Sarcasm and thinly veiled attacks will not escape the attention of a narcissist. They will see it as a personal attack and respond defensively, leading to a more significant argument.
  5. Devastating – Saying anything that threatens their sense of superiority or perception of their ability can result in a full-on attack in response.
  6. Change – Narcissists believe they are perfect and will always be the way they are. Asking them to change perceived flaws is like asking them to accept they are not perfect, and they will defend themselves with everything they’ve got.
  7. Leave Alone – While avoiding or walking away from narcissists can be effective, suggesting it to them will make them feel rejected and put them on the defensive, leading to more manipulative behaviour.

Benefits of Using Humor with Narcissists

Using humour with narcissists can be an effective tool to calling out their absurdity, making them appear less threatening and vulnerable and reminding them of reality. So, why is humor such a powerful tool against narcissistic behaviour?

1. Highlighting the Absurdity of Narcissistic Behaviour

Narcissists erratic, illogical behaviour can seem unpredictable and scary, but humour can help people see the ridiculousness of it, making them appear less intimidating.

2. Being Disarming to Narcissists

Narcissists primary objective is to maintain power and control. By using humour, you’re deflating their ego, taking them off-balance and undermining their control, leading to a reduced likelihood of retaliatory attacks.

3. Creating Distance and Reminding Narcissists of Reality

Humour can shift the focus back on the narcissists self-important behaviour, reminding them of social norms that they may have violated, helping them gain some perspective on their actions.


Narcissists can be frustrating and challenging to deal with. Still, by understanding their patterns of behaviour and addressing them with respect, humour, and assertiveness, you can avoid the traps of manipulation and gaslighting.

Keep in mind that setting clear boundaries, using humor, and walking away from situations that no longer befit your mental health are powerful tools that can help you navigate your relationship with a narcissist. Remember, you do not have to put up with their behaviour, and you can take back control of your life.

In conclusion, dealing with narcissists requires a combination of awareness, assertiveness, and humor. To outwit a narcissist, you must set clear boundaries, anticipate their reactions, and detach yourself from their emotional manipulations.

While humor can be a powerful tool against narcissistic behaviour, be mindful of the things you should not say to narcissists. Understanding the benefits of using humor with narcissists can help you highlight the absurdity of their behaviour, disarm them, and remind them of reality.

Overall, remember that you have the power to take control of your life and relationships. By practicing these strategies, you can avoid being manipulated by narcissists and move towards a healthier and happier life.

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