Putting Yourself First in Relationships: Why It’s Important
Do you ever feel like you’re always putting others before yourself in your relationships? Do you find yourself making sacrifices for your partner, family, or friends, and neglecting your own needs?
It’s a common problem that many people face, but it’s important to recognize the impact it can have on your happiness and well-being.
Importance of Putting Yourself First
Coaching or a life-changing experience can often be what allows someone to come to the realization that they never have to make anyone else number one, and that that spot is reserved for them. People often only realize this when they’ve experienced heartbreak or terrible relationships that leave them feeling drained and unhappy.
But why is it so important to prioritize yourself in relationships? First and foremost, putting yourself first is not selfish. It’s necessary for your emotional and mental health. When you neglect your own needs in favor of others, you can end up feeling resentful, bitter, and frustrated with your situation.
The reasons for not prioritizing yourself might stem from crappy rationalizations, such as believing that sacrificing for someone else is romantic or selfless, but it often results in being a bitter martyr. Resisting the urge to put yourself first can stem from personal resistance, such as the fear of being alone or the belief that you are responsible for making others happy.
But it’s important to remember that you can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to give to others effectively.
Reasons to Take Your Power Back
It’s time to take your power back and start putting yourself first in your relationships. Here are some reasons why:
- Hand Responsibility Back: When you put yourself first, you’re handing responsibility for your happiness back to yourself. You’re no longer relying on others to make you happy and fulfilled. Instead, you’re taking personal responsibility for your own happiness, which is empowering.
- External Happiness Is Fleeting: Relying on external factors, such as your relationships, to make you happy is unsustainable. These factors are often outside of your control and can change at any moment, leaving you feeling vulnerable and unhappy. When you focus on your internal happiness, you’re cultivating a stable and resilient source of fulfillment.
- Healthy Selfishness: Putting yourself first isn’t selfish in a negative sense. It’s healthy selfishness, which means you prioritize your own needs while still being mindful and respectful of others. This helps you establish healthy boundaries and teaches people how to treat you respectfully and kindly.
- Resentment-Proofing: When you neglect your own needs in favor of others, you can end up feeling resentful or angry toward your loved ones, even if they didn’t do anything wrong. Prioritizing yourself helps to resentment-proof your relationships, creating a more positive and nurturing environment for everyone involved.
External vs Internal Factors of Happiness
Relationships are undoubtedly an important part of our happiness. But it’s important to remember that they’re only one piece of the puzzle.
Key Points to Remember:
- Relationships Only Contribute 25%: Research shows that relationships only contribute about 25% to our overall happiness. The rest comes from internal factors, such as our mindset, habits, and self-care routines.
- Care for Yourself Like an Oxygen Mask: Just like on an airplane, where you’re supposed to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, you need to care for yourself before you can give to others effectively. This means prioritizing your own self-care, such as exercise, sleep, and stress management.
- Resentment-Proofing Through Healthy Boundaries: Giving too much to others can create pent-up anger and resentment over time. Establishing healthy boundaries where you prioritize your own needs and communicate them respectfully to others can create a more positive and fulfilling environment for everyone.
In Conclusion
Prioritizing yourself in relationships isn’t selfish or wrong. It’s necessary for your emotional and mental health, as well as creating a positive and nurturing environment for everyone involved.
Remember, putting yourself first isn’t about being selfish in a negative sense, but rather healthy selfishness. So take your power back, focus on your internal happiness, and establish healthy boundaries to resentment-proof your relationships.
Risks of Selling Yourself Out in Relationships: The Consequences of Putting Others First
When you consistently put the needs of others ahead of your own, you may be selling yourself out in your relationships. While it might seem like a selfless choice, the truth is that it can have negative consequences for your emotional and mental health, as well as your relationships with others.
Slippery Slope of Self-Disrespect
When you continually prioritize others over yourself, you may start to feel self-righteous, angry, resentful, and misunderstood. You may feel like you’re bottling up your emotions until you eventually explode, like a dormant anger-reservoir volcano.
Putting others before yourself puts you on a slippery slope of self-disrespect and self-neglect, which can lead you down a path of negative resentments.
Teaching People How to Treat You
One of the risks of selling yourself out in your relationships is that you’re teaching people how to treat you. When you don’t have firm boundaries, you allow people to take advantage of you, and you end up being treated like crap.
By not taking a stand and establishing what you want and need, you allow negative behavior to happen gradually and unchecked.
Decision to Make Yourself Number One
Making the decision to put yourself first in your relationships can be a challenging and confronting experience. It’s often a decision that involves working on yourself, your mindset, and your behaviors to honor yourself fully.
But ultimately, it’s a decision that only you can make, and it’s one that can lead to a happier, more fulfilled life.
Personal Commitment
Making the decision to prioritize yourself in your relationships requires a personal commitment. It involves being honest and upfront with your loved ones about your boundaries, needs, and desires.
It also involves communicating with your loved ones on a regular basis about where you’re both at and if you’re both happy with the relationship’s direction.
Positive Outlook
When you start putting yourself first in your relationships, you might risk disapproval or pushback from others who are used to you always putting their needs ahead of your own. But it’s important to remember that your positive outlook, and the respect others have for you, will only grow when you honor yourself fully.
When you’re happy and fulfilled, you naturally exude a positive energy that’s contagious and inspiring to those around you.
In Conclusion
Selling yourself out in your relationships can have negative consequences, including negative feelings, resentment, and being treated poorly by others. Establishing healthy boundaries and prioritizing your own needs and wants are essential steps to take in your relationships to avoid these negative outcomes. Making a personal commitment to honor yourself fully can lead to a happier, more fulfilled life and a more positive outlook on your relationships.
In conclusion, prioritizing yourself in relationships is not selfish; rather, it is necessary for your emotional and mental health and creating a positive, nurturing environment for everyone involved. When you put yourself first, you are taking personal responsibility for your own happiness and cultivating a stable, resilient source of fulfillment that cannot be taken away by external factors.
Establishing healthy boundaries and communicating your needs and desires to others can teach people how to treat you respectfully and kindly. Making a personal commitment to honor yourself fully can also lead to a happier, more fulfilled life and a more positive outlook on your relationships.
So, take your power back, put yourself first, and relish in the positive impact your choices will have on your life and those around you.
