The Mating Grounds

Staying in an Unhappy Marriage for the Kids: Is it worth the cost?

Dear Reader,

Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you considering staying in a unhappy marriage for the sake of your children?

It’s a tough decision to make, but know that you’re not alone. Many families go through difficult times, and it can be overwhelming to navigate the path forward.

That’s why we’re here to help you.

Staying in a Marriage for the Children

It’s natural to want to put your children first. But staying in a marriage for the children can come at a great cost.

Signs of infidelity can cause you to feel isolated and alone. Female friends, late nights, locked mobile phones, excuses and cheating can quickly erode the foundation of trust in any marriage.

It can be difficult to confront your partner regarding their actions, and even more challenging to believe that they would stoop so low. Regret and feelings of disbelief may even start to creep in, making you wonder if you should have ever gotten married in the first place.

But what about your children? Your daughter’s attachment and resistance to divorce, or the hope of having another child, can seem like very valid reasons for staying in an unhappy marriage.

However, if your partner has an affair, the fallout can often lead to depression, regret and the eventual breakup of the relationship. This can have a serious emotional impact on your child’s mental health, which is something no parent wants for their children.

Prioritizing your children’s welfare may cause you to embrace helplessness, turning a blind eye to the pain that you’re experiencing in your marriage.

Struggles in Marriage

The early days of a marriage are often filled with chemistry and attraction. You may have genuinely thought that you had found your handsome prince.

However, it doesn’t take long for red flags to appear, leaving you wondering if you made the right decision. Female friends, excessive communication, office work excuses, denial, and even physical abuse, are some of the signs that things are not right in a marriage.

Discovering infidelity can crush your hopes and lead to feelings of betrayal and anger. Used condoms, lies, and lack of regret often indicate that your partner has had no intentions of changing their errant ways.

This can make the decision to mend a marriage seem fruitless and unattainable. However, the birth of a child may provide some hope for improvement and an opportunity to mend what was once broken.

Enduring for Children

Addiction and habit often lead many people to stay in an unhappy marriage. Fancy objects, love and affection and prioritizing children over personal happiness, are often the reasons given for enduring a marriage that is not fulfilling.

You may feel scared and unsure about leaving what is familiar, but remember that you deserve better. You need to ask yourself, what kind of role model am I setting for my children?

Are you happy being the example of a person who remained in a loveless marriage? Will your children witness the dignity of a person with self-respect, who chooses to live life on their own terms?


Deciding whether to leave or stay in a marriage is not easy. Consider seeking professional help and guidance from a licensed therapist who can provide a neutral sounding board.

Remember that the impact of your choices doesn’t just affect you but also your children. It’s never too late to make a change.

Follow your heart and live life on your terms. Stay true to yourself, even if it means leaving a marriage that no longer serves you.


Your fellow strugglers

Dear Reader,

In the previous article, we discussed the struggles of staying in a marriage for the sake of one’s children. We highlighted how the decision to endure an unhappy marriage might impact the children’s mental health, especially in cases where there is infidelity.

In this article, we’ll delve deeper into the impact that staying in an unhappy marriage might have on children. Daughter’s Attachment

The attachment a daughter has to her father is quite strong.

Therefore, when a father strays from the marital vows, the daughter may feel like he’s abandoning her. She might become distressed, cry, and long for her father’s presence.

But when a father returns home, it’s often like nothing has happened, which could exacerbate the daughter’s feeling that her father has little regard for her feelings. The lack of regret displayed by the father can be hurtful and breed resentment.

Son’s Innocence

Likewise, a son’s love for his father can make it challenging for him to grapple with feelings of discomfort when his mother is not around. Young boys might not comprehend why they’re feeling sad or why their dad’s absence affects them so much.

These emotions might lead to long-term mental health consequences as they grow up; impacting their romantic and family relationships in later years.

Prioritizing Children’s Future

Parents who choose to remain in an unhappy marriage, primarily for the sake of their children, often do so with their children’s future in mind.

The belief is that the family unit is still intact and, therefore, gives the children a better chance for a bright future. However, this decision often results in feelings of helplessness.

The parent who stays in the marriage continues living day by day while turning a blind eye to the pain they’re in. Subconsciously, this might breed regret, which can manifest when the children are all grown up, and the parent is left alone to ponder their unfulfilling existence.


The decision to stay in an unhappy marriage is one that requires a lot of thought and careful consideration. Parents should always consider the impact of their actions on their children’s mental health.

Although it might seem noble to prioritize the family unit, parents must consider whether they’re making the right decision for their children in the long run. Discussing these concerns with a professional therapist might provide clarity and guidance for the way forward.

In conclusion, it is crucial to take note of the impact that staying in an unhappy marriage might have on your children. By having these conversations, we can equip ourselves with the necessary knowledge to make informed decisions that are in the best interest of our children.


Your Fellow Strugglers. In conclusion, this article has explored the topic of staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of one’s children and the impact it might have on their mental health.

We have examined the signs of infidelity and the fallout that comes with it, as well as the challenges parents face in prioritizing their children’s future. We have also highlighted the impact on children’s attachment to their parents and their mental health.

Deciding to stay in a marriage is a significant and life-changing decision that deserves careful consideration, with the impact on children being one of the most crucial aspects. Ultimately, seeking professional help and guidance from a therapist can provide clarity and direction towards the best course of action for you and your children.

By prioritizing your own happiness, you can create a better future for yourself and your children.

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